Crazy Love
by basketcse
Summary: This story begins with angst and then ramps up to mayhem and lots of laughs. Stephanie Plum has changed and she is slowly driving Ranger crazy. Lots of humor and crazy antics. Eventual HEA. T Rating for language only.
1. Chapter 1

These are not my characters. They belong to the author Janet Evanovich and thank you for letting us borrow them and run with our fantasies.

Takes place after JE's book 8 and after the deal.

This story begins with angst and then ramps up to mayhem and lots of laughs. Rangeman is flipped upside down and Ranger is slowly driven crazy. Lots of humor and crazy antics. Eventual HEA.

Zetharin thanks for the great feedback.

Mandyh is my regular beta and was not available for this one so I got some help from a friend that likes to edit my stories for fun.

Special thanks to alix33 who is also a beta for all her help. You are great!

Morelli friendly, but with some hurt feelings. Same with Frank and Helen just never gets it.

**Crazy Love**

**Chapter 1**

Another cold shower. Damned if I hadn't had my share the last few months. Some because I didn't have a choice and all of them because I couldn't stop the need between my legs. It was constant and it was slowly driving me insane. I got out and called Ella to bring breakfast and dressed and went to start the coffee pot Ella had already filled. I grabbed my newspaper from outside my door and sat down at the bar to read. I just couldn't focus on the articles.

I had woken from another dream about Stephanie. Sexy sapphire blue eyes gazing at me and her swollen pink lips yelling my name in passion as she responded to me mind, body and soul. Then the soft blue eyes with unshed tears swimming in them and a hint of pain as I said the stupid words that probably confused her and broke her heart. I came awake thrashing and rock hard and frustrated as hell again. This had been going on almost every night since the day I left her.

The mission I took immediately after that day had been one of worst. I had never been in such a state of mind as this. The determination to focus and not get my ass killed had been exhausting and I almost did get myself killed before I came to my senses and dealt with it and locked it up like I had done with all the other bad shit in my life."

My phone rang as Ella came through the door. "Yo."

"Manoso, do you know where Stephanie is?

"No, I haven't seen her since I've been back. She told Tank that she was taking a few days. Figured she was with you."

"I haven't heard from her. Her apartment is empty and her parents told me that Rex died. She said she was going on a vacation."

"What? Trouble in paradise?"

"No, asshole. There is no trouble in paradise. We're getting along fine."

"Did you fight?"

A long sigh. "No. That's why I'm worried. Can you check with Tank to see when she's expected back?"

"Pissed off because she didn't ask you to go with her?"

"Fuck you, man. She's not answering her phone at all. I thought you might be a little concerned."

"Yeah? Have you checked her favorite escapes."

"Called every hotel and B&B in Point Pleasant. Got nothing."

"I'll check with Tank." I disconnect.

Interesting. I figured she would be living with him by now. I called Tank. "Rangeman?"

"Yo, Stephanie say when she was coming back?"

"Said she'd be gone over the weekend and take a couple days. Should be back tomorrow. Why you asking?"

"Morelli called, looking for her. He was concerned because he couldn't reach her. Do we have a tracker on her car?"

"Just a minute. She's at the Shore, man. Probably takin' a vacation from his ass."

"Same thing I was thinking. We won't worry unless she doesn't show tomorrow."

"Copy that. Later." I disconnect again.

The next day came and went and Stephanie never showed. I wasn't terribly alarmed until Morelli called again.

"She didn't show for work, did she?"

"No."

"Her parents got a call from a motel in Wildwood at the Shore. She was supposed to check out yesterday. Her belongings including her bag are still in the room. I've contacted the Jersey Shore Police and they are just starting an investigation."

"What's the name of the Motel? We'll go now and start looking."

"King's Inn."

"I'll be in touch." I called Tank.

"I need a search team to go to Wildwood with me. Steph was supposed to check out of her motel yesterday. Her belongings are there, but she's not." Now I was getting concerned. Stephanie was pretty predictable and reliable. If she went to the Shore for a weekend vacation, she would relax and then check out and come home. If she told Tank she would be back to work, she would have showed. Something wasn't right.

We went to Wildwood and checked the motel and her car. We asked the motel staff questions and showed her picture in every establishment within a mile radius of the motel and then finally got a bite from a kid in a pharmacy. He had remembered her coming in late one night to buy some feminine products, a book and some junk food. I smiled. That was Stephanie. He said he thought that was the night when there was a lot of activity a couple blocks down the street with sirens and lights and emergency vehicles.

We began checking hospitals and it wasn't long before we got another bite at Shore Memorial Hospital. They had a still unidentified Jane Doe. She had been there for almost four days. This was not good news. We raced there. I phoned Morelli on the way to tell him we were going to see the Jane Doe.

I waited for a doctor and was finally shown to a room in the ICU unit. I heard the distinct sound and hiss of a breathing machine when I stepped inside the room, then I saw the other machines and tubes and then the curly brown hair. I felt like my heart was falling through my chest to the floor as I walked closer to the bed. Her body was so bruised. Her face almost unrecognizable. Her shoulder and arm casted. She was so sickly pale and small looking in the bed.

"You know this woman?"

"Yes. What happened?"

"She was struck by a drunk driver as she was crossing the street. Judging by the injuries, the impact was severe and the car was going fast. She never regained consciousness, brain activity is minimal, swelling has been borderline extreme. We relieved some pressure, yet we don't know how much it helped under the circumstances. You'll want to contact her family. It doesn't look good."

"I have power of attorney."

"Then you, Mr...?"

"Manoso."

"Mr. Manoso, you may have some hard decisions to make on her behalf. If brain activity goes much lower then she'll be declared brain dead. Regardless, she'll need a long term care facility if she does not wake up." I nodded and walked closer to the bed to touch her.

"Babe, I'm an idiot. Instead of pushing you away, why didn't I tell you that I wanted you to be mine that morning. You might now be in my bed instead of this one fighting for your life."

I walked out of the room and made the difficult phone calls I knew I had to make. Then I sent my men down to the motel to settle and collect her personal items and car. Then I went back into her room and sat down and just waited, holding her little pale hand and thinking about her smile and her laughter and her beautiful bright blue eyes when she looked at me.

Morelli arrived first and walked into the room and gasped when he saw her. I got up and let him have a few minutes and then he came out into the hallway. "Have you spoken to her doctor?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"It's not good. Her brain could still die, she may never wake up. She was hit by a car, drunk driver. Why did she come here alone? Didn't you get back together?"

"Yes and no. She was different. She didn't want to move in and didn't want to stay overnight at my house. It was like she wasn't even present. We weren't really arguing. Then she just up and left and didn't tell me. I backed off because I had been worried about her. Wanted to give her some space." I nodded.

Shit...I knew what was wrong. She was unhappy, because I'm an ass and I hurt her. She didn't want to go back to Morelli. Joe spoke and snapped me out of my reverie.

"Have you called her parents?"

"Yes. On their way and I've secured a few rooms near here at the Residence Inn under Rangeman. Feel free to take a room."

"I appreciate that. Thanks and thanks for calling as soon as you found her." I nodded.

The Plums arrived and were both devastated. Helen Plum was bawling and clinging to Morelli and rattling that same old tired shit about how they should be married by now and why hadn't they gotten engaged when they got back together and why was she here alone. Morelli's face was readable. It was saying, "Why me and somebody fucking help me."

I kind of felt sorry for him for once.

I sat down next to Frank Plum to have a serious conversation. "Mr. Plum, I am Stephanie's power of attorney. There may need to be some difficult decisions made on her behalf and I just wanted you to know that all of us will agree before those decisions are made." I could tell he was surprised. "How did that happen?"

"It's standard for all employees of Rangeman. We do dangerous work and decisions have to made quickly in the field. Our medic has this power as well. It's meant to save lives." He nodded his understanding. "Son, I pray that we won't have to make the ultimate decision."

"Yes sir, as do I." Then I told him also about the rooms I had reserved at the Inn and he thanked me.

_"She has been here for two weeks, she made it past the critical period the first few hours and days, and her surgeries have gone well. She should be awake unless she has suffered brain damage. It's time to make a decision about a long term care facility for her."_

_"I'm not sure that there has been enough time since the accident."_

_"Mrs. Plum, she was a Jane Doe here for four days before she was found and identified, so it has actually been almost three weeks. She needs to begin physical therapy and needs long term support. This doesn't mean that she'll never wake up. Her brain activity never got any worse in that first five days and she can breathe on her own. We never know about damage until the patient wakes. The issue is if and when and this is the best move you can make for her right now because she needs special care."_

The doctor had made his recommendation, the decision had been made and Stephanie had been moved to the best long term care facility we could find near Trenton. The dull ache had simmered to a numbness and when I arrived back at Rangeman I put Tank in charge and called my handler. I needed a workout, some punishment in the field. I couldn't stay here without Stephanie. Now I knew just how much she had filled my world and how much she meant to me. What a damned fool I am. In two days I was on a helicopter headed to Fort Bragg.

TBC-


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I was so groggy and my eyes were damn heavy. I felt like I'd been on some mean bender. With some time and a lot of concentration, I finally got one eye to pop open and slammed it shut again because of the glaring bright light. Jeez, that hurt. As my mind continued to come awake, my senses took over and I started to recognize smells and sounds. Oh crap. Sounds and smells like I'm in a stupid hospital or something. I heard footsteps come close and tried to speak, but it came out a croak. "Ms. Plum? Can you hear me? Are you awake?"

"Croak..."

"Let me get you some water."

I felt a gentle hand under my head and a straw at my lips and I sipped it, dribbling most of it down my chin. Jeez, I'm like a drooling geriatric. I wanted to try to talk again. I wanted to know what happened to me and where I was. "Light...hurts."

"The light hurts your eyes?" I nodded. I heard the flick of a light switch.

"Try now." I half opened one eye and it didn't hurt so bad and so I tried the other and half opened it till I was comfortable and looked into a pleasant smiling female face.

"Hi."

"Right back at ya'. Let me give you another sip and then run and get a doctor. We've been waiting for you to wake up, sleepyhead."

"Oh. Okay."

I was looking around trying to think what the last thing I remembered was and I came up with nothing. The friendly nurse and a doctor came into the room after a few minutes.

"Welcome back, Ms. Plum."

"What exactly does that mean and what happened to me?"

"You were the victim of a drunk driver. You suffered broken bones and head trauma. You've been asleep for a while."

"Like how long", I croaked.

"About two months."

"What? What about my...Where is my...I just realized something..."

"What's that?"

"I got nothin'. I can't remember anything." Then I burst out crying.

"Do you remember your parents?"

"Duh. Yes."

"What about Mr. Morelli or Mr. Manoso?"

"Eww...Yes."

"Why do you say eww?"

"Well, he did something weird to me when I was six in his Dad's garage and then something worse on a bakery floor when I was sixteen. I can't stand him. Who is Manoso?"

"Like what did Mr. Morelli do?"

"I can't talk about that. I want my Mom."

"We'll call them immediately. They will be so happy to hear that you're awake. I'm going to have a tray sent up. It will be just mostly liquids until your body adjusts. It's a start. A very good start. Then I'll give you a light sedative later after I check you again. I know this must be confusing and stressful. You'll be fine now though, Ms. Plum."

I was asleep when I heard a voice. "Stephanie! Oh, you're awake!"

I croaked, "Mom."

"Yes, dear, and Dad and Grandma and Joe. We're all here."

"Joe who?"

"Joseph Morelli of course."

"No! Why is he here. He humiliated me! He did things to me. I can't stand him..." I began to sob.

"What kind of rubbish are you talking about, Stephanie Michelle?

"I want to go home, Mom. Please." The doctor came in and ushered everyone out of the room. They all had stunned faces.

_"Mr. and Mrs. Plum, she has obviously suffered some memory loss and she is confused and emotional. This memory loss of recent events does not affect her past memories. What I want to know, Mr. Morelli, is if her recollections of you are correct? Because, if they are, you as an officer of the law should be aware that there is __no statute of limitations in this state regarding child molesters. Mr. and Mrs. Plum, I sincerely hope that you had no knowledge of the two events Stephanie recalls. Although, as her parents you certainly should have." _ There were three audible gasps.

My nurse giggled. "Doc McAllister is reading your folks and that guy the riot act. He's good when he gets riled up."

"What is your name? I like you."

"Oh sorry, I'm Sadie."

"Sadie, I'm really confused right now."

"I guess you are. You know, you have had the most handsome men come here to see you over these weeks."

"Me?...No way."

"Yes way. All of them were tens and not one of them had less than a six pack and they all looked at you like you were Sleeping Beauty. Girl, I was jealous." I made a raspberry noise, but I was sure curious about these handsome men. My eyes were droopy and I was starting to get sleepy.

"You go on to sleep, girl. I've got your back." I got this twinge behind my eyes when she said that.

"Okay. Thank you, Sadie."

When I opened my eyes next a huge handsome black man was sitting in the chair next to me. "Hi, Bomber."

"Who?"

"Sorry, Stephanie. I'm Tank."

"Good nickname. Suits you perfect."

"It was my military name and it stuck."

"I like it. I know you?"

"Yeah. You're my little sister and I've missed you."

"Wow..You do give new meaning to the words 'big brother'. You are big." He laughed.

"You sound just like your snarky ass self minus your memories, little sis. A whole lot of people miss you."

"So I have a lot of friends?"

"Yes, you do. My girlfriend is one of them."

"Who is she?"

"Lula. You saved her a while back. She sure has missed you. Says she misses the old excitement of wrestlin' old folks and naked people and gettin' chased and shot at and food fights..."

"Are you messing with me, big guy?"

He had tears in his eyes. "No man. Bomber, we didn't realize how important you were to us until you weren't there any more." He was sniffling. "We almost lost you."

"Hey, I'm sorry if I upset you."

"Not your fault. You shouldn't have been alone that weekend you got hit by that drunk driver. Somebody should have been with you."

"Was odd I went on vacation without even taking a girlfriend. Will I get to meet Lula and some of your friends soon?"

"Real soon. A lot of people are going to be happy to hear this news. The Bomber's back."

"Tell them I look forward to meeting them and you're going have to explain this Bomber thing to me." He got up and kissed me on the cheek. "Will do and I'll be back soon."

"Okay."

The next day Dr. McAllister came in and checked me and asked me if I wanted to talk about the two incidences regarding Joe Morelli. I told him that I really didn't.

"Stephanie, your parents seemed to think that you were in a relationship with him. That is what disturbs me and he's a respected detective in Trenton. I'm worried for you."

"A relationship? That is ridiculous. I can't stand the guy. The stuff happened a long time ago and I did get some revenge by running him down in my Dad's Buick."

"You did what?"

I laughed at the memory. "When he got out of the Navy I ran him down on the sidewalk and broke his leg."

"This, does not make me feel any better. If you change your mind about talking, I'm here. You are going to start physical therapy today. When you can walk to the bathroom and you're body is functioning again like normal then you can blow this place."

"Sounds good to me, Doc. You're the best."

"Thank you. Goodnight, patient."

A couple days later a big black woman with purple hair and very tight spandex to match came into my room with an Italian girl that was in my sister's class at high school.

"Girl, it's about time you woke up. Me and Connie been missin' you and even duck boy wants to see you back."

"I remember you from from high school. My sisters class, uh..Connie...?"

"Yeah. Rosolli. We're good friends now. We all work at Vinnie's bonds office."

"Vinnie who?"

"Your cousin, the duck boy."

"Omigod! I work for my pervert cousin? Doing what? Secretary..."

"Naw' girl, that's my job. You're a bounty hunter. You apprehend fugitives. Lula helps when she ain't filing and she ain't filing most of the time."

"Watch it there now, girl. I'm your primary fugitive apprehender next to the duck sucker."

"You are Tank's Lula? I'm afraid to ask who the duck sucker is?"

"Yeah. Tank's my man. Ain't he somethin'. Rides like a dream and oooh...that gun." Connie and I coughed.

Connie said, "You know the duck sucker, Joyce Barnhardt."

"Ohmyshit! That skank works there too? Why do you call her the...Ohmyjeez! Her and Vinnie? Oh gag..."

"Yeah girl...You see our pain. You gotta' come back."

"Well girls, the problem is that I don't remember how to do that job now."

"Shit girl, I'll show you the ropes. We gotta' find your cookie jar cuz' you need one of these is all." She pulled a big gun out of her purse just as Sadie walked in and when she saw it she threw up her hands and screamed. Then Lula jumped and BAM! the gun went off, the bullet hit a bedpan on the floor across the room, ricocheted off and I'm pretty sure landed in Connie's ass because she jumped and squealed like a pig and her eyes glazed over and she fell face first straight over my bed, passed out cold. Sadie and I looked at Lula and then at Connie's butt. Yep, million dollar wound.

"Oops..My bad. I gotta' go, girl, cuz' I know some cops are gonna' come about that stray bullet and cops give me the runs. Get well soon. Tell Connie breakfast is on me this week." Then she was running and gone.

Doc and a couple nurses came running in. "What? What happened? We heard a shot!"

"Uh..Doc, that woman running down the hall with the purple hair you probably passed, is apparently a friend of mine and she accidentally 'busted a cap' in this friend's ass. In a nutshell, looks like you got a new patient." Sadie and I looked at the confused expression on his face and looked at each other and broke out in hysterics.

Doc examined Connie and found that she didn't require surgery and rather than embarrass either woman, he did us a favor and plucked the bullet out, put in a couple stitches, bandaged her and gave her a prescription for some antibiotics. Connie didn't have to go to the ER where she would be interrogated and Lula didn't have to get the runs.

One week of excruciating pain and hard work and Doc McAllister was ready to give me the green light to go home. I called my parents and my mother came to see me.

"Stephanie, about your release from the hospital..."

"What?"

"In light of your Doctor's very crass allegations we are not comfortable with you moving home."

"Mom, you gave up my apartment. I don't have any place to go."

"Perhaps you could call one of your girlfriends or one of your Rangeman friends."

"What Rangeman friends?"

"That Ranger fellow and those other men."

"You would have me thrown out of here with no place to go except to strangers? Strange men at that?"

"Stephanie, you are thirty years old! If you had gotten married and started your family like a normal daughter instead of chasing criminals and causing embarrassment all the time you wouldn't be in this mess!"

"Mom, I'm really upset right now. Is my doctor right? Did you know what Joe Morelli did to me both of those times? Where's Dad? Is his head stuck in the sand somewhere or up his 'Burg' ass? How could you do this to me? Would you rather the drunk driver have killed me so you wouldn't have a problem to deal with or oh..you wanted to pawn me off on the child molester?"

"Stephanie Michelle Plum! How dare you speak to me that way..."

"How dare you! What am supposed to do? I can't remember anything! I don't have a home and I don't have a job! I don't have a family any more for that matter!" I was screaming and sobbing now and Sadie and Doctor McAllister came running through the door.

TBC-

Since I'm still kind of on the movie kick. What movie did "million dollar wound" come from?


	3. Chapter 3

Previously-

_"How dare you! What am supposed to do? I can't remember anything! I don't have a home and I don't have a job! I don't have a family any more for that matter!" I was screaming and sobbing now and Sadie and Doctor McAllister came running through the door._

_First girlie to get the chap 2 question was Elkniw73. And, Forrest Gump it was that had that famous million dollar wound. _

**Chapter 3**

My mother huffed and headed toward the door as quick as her two inch heels would move her.

Sadie asked, "What happened, Stephanie?"

"I don't have any place to go when I get out of here. They won't let me come home. They gave up my apartment. I don't know where my stuff is. I wish I had never woken up."

"No you didn't say that! It's a miracle you woke up", Sadie said.

Doc said, "You have a caretaker. All your medical bills are being paid by a Ranger Manoso at Rangeman. I have seen many of his men here to see you. Perhaps we should give Rangeman a call."

"But, I don't know them. I only met one guy. Um..a Tank."

"Was he nice?"

"Yeah. He was very nice."

"I think we need to give him a call", Sadie said.

"Let me just call my girlfriend Mary Lou first. If she tells me they are alright then you can call."

Sadie snatched her phone out of her pocket, "Do it now!"

I dialed Mary Lou and Lenny. They had been married a while now. I remembered her phone number. When Mary Lou answered and heard my voice she started screaming at Lenny. I explained about my parents and my big problem and asked her about Rangeman. "Stephanie, you love those guys and they love you. You and Ranger worked together and were really close. I think you can trust them to help you."

"Thanks, Mare, I knew you would tell me straight."

"You're welcome. Call me and tell me where you go. You know you can always stay here for a while."

"I know, and I know you have your hands full too."

"Things will work out, girl. Trust me. Bye."

I looked at Doc and Sadie, "Apparently, I can trust them."

"Good. We're going to go make a call", Doc said. I nodded and closed my eyes.

After Sadie left, I rolled over and cried myself to sleep. "Stephanie?" I turned my head to the door. Tank and two other guys were standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Tank. My doctor called you to tell you I'm homeless and asked you to help me didn't he?"

"I wanted to offer anyway. Just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"I'm a charity case. I woke up with no memory, no home, now no parents, they probably dumped everything I own by now, I don't have a job, I can't remember shit and I'm pathetic."

"You're not charity to us and you're not pathetic either."

The handsome Latino guy in the middle spoke up, "Beautiful, you are not pathetic. You are the toughest chick I know. You're one of us, we miss you and your home should be with us."

The other handsome black man said, "We really want you to come and live in an apartment at Rangeman. You're an employee. A lot of us live there. We miss you, sweetheart."

"Oh..."

"Sorry, I'm Bobby. I'm the Rangeman medic and your doctor is willing to release you into our care today if you're ready. I can take over your physical therapy."

"Are you sure I won't be a burden to you? What you're offering is..it's just a lot."

The handsome latino came over and sat on my bed next to me. "I'm Lester. Gorgeous girl, I'm your best buddy. You should really trust me." Then he waggled his eyebrows at me.

Bobby said, "Lester, cool that shit and get your eyebrows waxed, man. You're going to scare her." He looked at me with warm and caring eyes. "So, is it okay if I go take care of your release papers?"

"I guess so." Bobby kissed me on the cheek and left to take care of my release and the paperwork.

Doc and Sadie came in the room to say goodbye. Sadie said, "Girl, it sure is going to be boring around here without you. I'm going to miss you so much," and she looked at the guys and whispered, "And, the scenery is going to be boring too." She was looking at the guys and smiling. I laughed. "Uh..guys, this is my nurse Sadie. Sadie, this is Tank, Lester and Bobby." Lester swooped in on her first, "Nice to meet you, pretty lady. I'm the good looking one." Oh brother. The rest of the guys smirked and Sadie giggled. Doc gave me a kiss on the cheek. "She's right, it will be boring around here. You do your physical therapy and enjoy your new home and friends. Call me if you need me. You're my special patient."

"Thanks for taking such good care of me, Doc."

Two hours later I was in awe as Tank carried me into the elevator at the Rangeman building and when the doors opened there was a sea of men dressed in black yelling and clapping. It scared the shit out me. I hid my face in Tank's chest. Tank bellowed, "Back up, men! Little sister has been through a lot. You're scaring her. I'll take her to her apartment and you can come see her a couple at a time."

Tank got back on the elevator and we headed down a level and Bobby unlocked a door. It was a small efficiency type apartment. There was a big welcome home banner on the wall and balloons and flowers everywhere. Tank set me on the loveseat and a nice lady came in and introduced herself. "I'm Ella, dear. I stocked your kitchen for you and I bought you a few things to wear and some toiletries. They are in your closet. I'll bring you a dinner tray in a little while." She patted my cheek. "So glad to have you back."

"Wow..thank you, Ella. For the things you did."

"You are more than welcome, dear."

Lester said, "I called your parents to check on the things from your apartment. It's in storage and they said we could come get the key and some of the guys will get it here tomorrow for you. We'll put the furniture pieces in storage here."

"Thank you guys...really...I just... thank you."

Bobby said, "You're probably tired. You want to have a nap before dinner."

"Yes. That would be nice." He picked me up and carried me to the bedroom. I was roused for dinner in a little while and then went right back to sleep.

The next morning I was struggling to get to the shower when Bobby came in. "Let me help you there, sweetheart."

"But, I have to do personal stuff."

"I have seen you naked, Stephanie. I'm a medic and I've patched plenty of your boo boos. I do personal stuff too." He gave me a mischievous grin and despite the awkwardness I had to bite.

"Like?" He grinned at me.

"I piss like a racehorse. Really piss a lot." I started giggling. He was funny. "What else?"

"Uh..When I'm pissing like a racehorse, I fart too. Loud and proud." I was holding my stomach now I was laughing so hard. "Then?"

"I do the standard three S's. No explanation necessary except when I cut myself shaving I growl and cuss a lot like a sailor. Make that a pirate and I don't have a bird, I flip people the bird. I'm one nasty fucker, Aargh..." I was cracking up now and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks, Bobby, for making me feel comfortable."

"Anytime, sweetheart. Now do your biz and I'll help you into the shower."

"Sounds good. To the can, man, I gotta' go."

I ate breakfast and then got a piggyback to the gym for my physical therapy. I got a lot of high fives on the way from guys.

I was on a mat in the Rangeman gym reduced to sweating and growling at Bobby. "Dr. Pepper, if you try to make me do that one more time, I will use the only weapon I have and sink my teeth into the closest body part available." Squatting in front of me, he looked down at his groin and backed away. Some of the guys watching were chuckling.

The next couple weeks went the same way. Bobby and the torture and the guys all spent time with me and I got stronger. Then one day I was ready to work, to give back. I dressed like a Rangeman clone and Lester came to get me and handed me off to a guy named Hector. He was a scary looking dude and he didn't speak much English and I had not met him yet. Was this Rangeman's version of a hazing or what?

Lester explained that Hector was going to teach me how to use a few Rangeman programs called searches to get information on fugitives.

"Oye. Cómo esta colgando (Hey. How's it hanging)." Lester burst out laughing and Hector looked at me and then gave me a wicked grin.

"Mis rodillas (to my knees)." I mouthed his translation to myself and then I sat up straight and looked at him.

"Ha! You're a funny guy. Caga mi (You shittin' me)?" Lester was cracking up. I didn't know I was so sharp in Spanish.

"No." I understood that perfectly clear. I made a face at him and made a fart sound with my mouth.

I looked him square in the eye and pointed my finger at him. "You're messin' with me. Vamos a verlo (let's see it)." He barely blinked and stood up and unzipped his pants and released a friggin' anaconda. I looked at Lester. "Snakes alive! What kind of fertilizer grows these? What do you feed it?." I looked at it again and pointed. "Is that a tattoo on it? Cha-cha, I gotta' tell ya' if I accidently sat on that it would kill me and make me cry and it would earn me a tattoo just like the one under your eye and you a new one to boot." Lester was hooting and holding his stomach now.

I nodded at his impressive man thing. "Cha-cha, that weapon needs to be registered. Now put the safety on and put it away. Gently now." He tucked it in and zipped up. I put my hand up. "Respetar el tipo. Solamente (Respect, dude. Nothing but)." He slapped my hand and Lester guffawed. Hector looked behind Lester and we heard a deep throat clearing.

"Imagine my surprise when I looked at the monitors and saw that picture. It's around the building by now. You three goofballs get your butts back to work."

"Hey, Tank. Could you print me a copy?" He glared at me. "Hey, it's got a tattoo on it. It's art." He wanted to be the cranky boss and then he grinned. I heard several snickers in the area.

Searches were interesting. I asked Hector specific questions and he seemed to be very impressed with what I was reading between the lines. He told me that the next day he would show me a couple more programs to assist with questions about the search results. I had cruised through my first day of work. It was all good...

I looked at the time on my super duper watch the guys had given me. They said it was special. Like, James Bond special. I shook it. Meh..still couldn't get it to do anything. Tonight was Mexican night. Legal Mexican food and Uno night. Every night was a different food and game. On the first Twister night, it had been a bad scene when half way through the game, Ram had almost asphyxiated us and when Tank choked out, "What the hell, man?", the problem was soon revealed.

Ram came clean and admitted that he had a whopping four super deluxe bean and cheese burritos for lunch. Later when Lester wanted to light his...well you can guess the rest, they almost set the sprinklers off...Ram was dubbed Sparky and Mexican was banned for lunch on Twister days.

TBC-

Okay, so you may have noticed that Stephanie is making up her own nicknames for these guys because it's like meeting them for the first time again. I'll keep the list updated and I have her using the real names when she thinks about them and then her new one when she speaks to them. So far:

Dr. Pepper = Bobby

Cha-cha or Chach = Hector

Sparky = Ram

What do you think the purpose of the watch is for?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next day, Cal, Ram, and Hal took me to a place called Shorty's for pizza. Man, it was some hole in the wall, but the pizza was outstanding. They seemed to be amazed at how much I could eat and they really, really liked watching me and they squirmed a little in their seats. Hmmm..Funny.

We had a great time. Every time I got near Cal I had the urge to kiss his skull tattoo on his forehead. I finally told him that it must be some kind of chick magnet and I had to give in. All the guys thought that was funny. Hal wanted to sit by me and smiled at me a lot. They were all excited and each wanting to teach me new stuff like picking locks and shooting and self-defense. These guys were my friends, like brothers and proud of me and made me feel good about myself. Maybe I really did have a place at Rangeman.

The guys had taught me monitors so I could give breaks and I had done some stakeouts with a couple of the guys and Tank had been teaching me contracts and throwing some of his boring paperwork at me.

A couple days ago, me and Nuts were on a stake out. After four hours, we were both crazy bored and so I dared Lester to squish his butt up against the SUV's tinted windows to see if you could see it from the outside. "Hey cool, Nuts. The tint just gives your ass a nice portrait style silhouette. I dare you to moon the next car that goes by." I made like I was presenting this fine portrait of an ass to the cars that passed by.

"Okay beautiful, it's your turn. I double dog dare you to moon some cars."

"Okay, but you have to present mine just as good as I did yours."

About five minutes later, Lester's phone rang and he answered. Whoever was on the other end was loud and it sounded like, "Whaaa..wha..wha..wha..wha..wha! Wha..Whaaaa..wha..Whaa..wha!" I cocked my head and looked at Nuts. He grinned at me. "Funs's over beautiful, we're busted. Gotta' report to the bossman." Crap!

When we got off the elevator at the control room, Tank greeted us with hands on hips and a glare. "What the fuck do you two clowns think you were doing on your stake out?"

"Nuttin', boss."

"Well, guess what? I was prepared for that one, Bomber!" He showed us a black and white photo with an SUV and a perfectly silhouetted ass in the window. I leaned in for a closer look.

"Cool. Hey, Nuts, you can see your nuts too. I knew that nickname was perfect for you."

Lester looked closer and nodded his head. "Nice. That's frame worthy."

I could see Tank was trying hard not to grin and Zero and Hal on the monitors were snickering loudly. "I oughtta' dock your pay for that time out. Ranger would have 'shit a brick' and then punished the both of you if he had gotten that call I did about what you two goofs were doin' in a Rangeman vehicle."

"I didn't get the memo on that. What all can we do in a Rangeman truck?" Nuts and Zero and Smiley lost it then. Tank bellowed, "Get your asses back to work. Now!"

Bones and Sparkey took me to lunch at Pino's the next day for meatball subs. They were laughing about the stake out when they both looked up. "Hello, Cupcake. I was wondering if we could have a word." I turned around. It was Joe Morelli. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"What words could I possibly have to say to you, Morelli, except 'hit the bricks'."

"We need to talk, Stephanie. I know you don't remember, but you're my girlfriend goddamnit and that shit you said in the hospital was just wrong. Your parents were devastated."

"I..am..so..not..your..anything!" He glared for a couple seconds and then he started waving his arms around and yelling and people in the restaurant were staring and I suddenly just started crying. Cal and Ram glared at Morelli and Ram slowly stood up. "Stop! Do you have any idea what this little doll has been through and what she's lost? You're obviously a selfish bastard and only think about yourself. You're done here, so like she said, hit the fucking bricks." Morelli growled and stomped away.

I was in the gym arguing the self defense benefits of wedgies with Bobby and he just wasn't getting it. "It's the element of surprise Doc. It's one of my signature moves. Nobody is ready for a girl wedgie." Haha...I rubbed my hands together and nodded.

"Do you want me to show you why your signature move may be a hit and mostly a miss in self defense?"

"Knock yourself out Peppy, I'm standing by my move." Some of the guys were listening to us and snickering. He stuck his butt out at me. "Give me a wedgie." I gave him an evil grin and reached my hand in the back of his sweat pants and came up with nothing. What the...? I looked down his pants and cleared my throat. "Nice butt. However, that's not fair dammit. Most people wear underwear. Didn't your mother teach you that it's important to wear your drawers. You have an accident you got no where to go from there, dude." I heard chuckles.

"Hal! Front and center. Your wedgie move Steph, please." I reached in and got nothing. I looked down his pants and even his butt blushed red. "Sorry Smiley, Dr. Pepper made me do it." He nodded and walked away.

"Okay, how many guys in this gym are going commando as we speak?" All hand went up but one. Nuts dropped his sweat pants and I was suddenly staring at his boxer briefs sporting a big smiling buddha head on the crotch saying 'Rub for Luck'. Sheesh, that boy is not right.

"Okay Doc, I get the point." I grumbled, "Apparently, the wedgie move only works on the "Burg' proper. The rest of the world doesn't understand the importance of underwear and Nuts only wears them for fun."

Today I was proofreading some of those boring contracts at my work station for Tank. I was listening to some 80's tunes on my iPod while reading. I was in my own world singing a song and kept scratching at this annoying tingle at the back of my neck and holding my imaginary microphone.

_"You don't have to be beautiful...to turn me on...I just need your body baby (oops..squeaked on that high note a little)...from dusk till dawn..You don't need experience...to turn me on...You'll just leave it all up to meee...I'm gonna' show you...what it's all about..(Screech..croak..Oops..Got a frog in there..I cleared my throat)...You don't have to be rich to be my girl...You don't have to be cool... to rule my world...Ain't no particular sign...I'm more compatible with...I just want your extra time and your..smooch..smooch..smooch..Kiss...Yeah baby..._

I'm slapping at the back of my neck now. "Ms. Plum...Ms. Plum...Ms. Plum!"

"What? You don't have to yell. Jeez..." I turned around and this new hot guy was standing behind me with his hands on his hips and a smirk on his face. "Heh hea..Don't ya' just love that Prince?" I heard several chuckles, snorts and guffaws behind the cubicles.

"I like Prince's version better. You are being disruptive with your singing and iPods are not allowed on the floor." My time to smirk.

"Well..Nobody has complained. Yo, Cha-cha, my cubicle buddy? You got a problem with my singin', bro'?"

"Si." More guffaws.

"El Hermano, you wound me, man. Pensi que tenia mi espalda (thought you had my back)." The guy raised an eyebrow at me.

"Okay, back to you tough guy. Well, e...x...c...u...s...e me if I offended your tender ears. Anyway, who died and left you chief, huh, 'kemo-sah-bee'?" The corners of his mouth were twitching and the snickers and guffaws got louder.

"I am the chief and fortunately I did not die, Ms. Plum."

"Oh really, and what would be your name, 'Big Cheese'?" More snickers and I think I heard something hit the floor.

"My name, Ms. Plum...is Ranger and this...is my company." I swallowed hard.

"Oh..totally my bad. Didn't know you were back...uh...sir. Am I fired?"

"No."

"Thank you. Welcome back, Mr. Ranger...Sir."

"Thank you, Ms. Plum." He turned and walked away and I put my head between my legs. Crap...I just got Ranger'd. Nobody told me he was back.

The next day I was sitting at my cubicle absorbed in my work, I started clawing my neck again like crazy. I heard a throat clear and I turned around.

"I'm not doing anything today. I'm quiet, I have no contraband, I've almost finished my work. What bone do you have to pick with me today?"

"I just wanted to ask you to come to my penthouse for lunch."

"Do you ask other employees to have lunch in your _pent...house_?"

"No."

"Really? Do you think that it is appropriate when you don't invite other employees to your penthouse for lunch, Mr. Manoso?"

"Babe?"

"What did you just call me? Are you s...e...x...u...a...l...l...y harassing me, boss? Cause' that's a big no...no, or did you forget that while you were away...Write yourself a m...e...m...o."

"What?"

"What did you want me to do in your fancy penthouse, huh? Maybe some s...e...x...u...a...l favors?" He winced at that.

"You better watch yourself or I'll report you to the Tankster and he's bigger than you."

"The Tankster?

"Yep..." I emphasized by popping the p...Who does this guy think he is? I mean besides the boss. He shook his head and walked away and Lester came out from behind a cubicle.

"You're pulling the tiger's tail there, gorgeous."

"He's just so arrogant. He just gets under my skin and makes bad Stephanie come out."

"Bad Stephanie?"

"Yeah. Don't you have a good Lester and a bad Lester in you? One is the voice of reason and the other makes you do bad shit. They sit on your shoulders and argue sometimes."

"Oh, I definitely have a bad Lester. He's trained and a mean mother when he's called out."

"Well, mine didn't get any official training, but she can be a pain in the ass." He barked laughter.

"I'm positive that he's feeling it too." He leaned down and kissed me and walked away.

The next day I got a call at my cube. "Lo?"

"When answering a Rangeman phone, it should be with your name, Ms. Plum."

"Well, Par-done...", I snarked.

"Would you please come to my office?"

"You got a problem with my work?"

"No."

"Then I don't think that's a good idea."

"I need to discuss something with you."

"Then why don't you go through channels? Send me an email or a m...e...m...o. I don't report to you directly or did you forget that, too? Have Nuts or the Tankster call me."

"Nuts?"

"Lester."

"Ms. Plum, I am your boss. Everyone in this building reports to me when I ask them to."

"You like being 'large and in charge, dontcha'? Standing behind people with your hands on your hips, looking intimidating, breathin' down their necks, bein' all 'I'm Mr. badass, watch me growl, look how big my muscles are, do my bidding now, underling'." Then he slammed the phone down and I heard a door open down the hall. Uh-oh. I might have pulled too hard.

There were snickers and chuckles all around the cubes and Lester stuck his head out with a grin on his face, but a 'WTF' look in his eyes. I got up and went the opposite direction of where I knew Ranger would be going and hid and then as soon as he turned his back, I sprinted out and to Tank's office and barged in and slammed the door. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"What's up, Bomber?"

"Uh..That guy, that's about to barge in your office too. Can I come behind you and hide?"

"Come again?"

"Tank, that man is a big asshole! I don't want to work for him. He's being inappropriate and too familiar and I don't like him. He makes me itch." He was groaning and rubbing his hand over his bald head.

I heard the the boots stomping down the hall before the door opened and ran behind Tank's chair. The door flew open and there stood the bull himself and he was snorting and ready to charge. Yikes!

"Ms. Plum, if I ask you to report to my office, I expect you to do so like everyone else under my employ."

"If you have a request for me, why can't you go through Nuts or Tankster? I'll do the job. I don't want to be alone with you. You make me uncomfortable and I'm sorry if that offends you."

Tank said, "Steph, go back to your station and let me handle this." I slipped past Ranger and the door closed.

I took a couple steps down the hall and heard Tank bellowing and stopped and then I felt breath on my neck and jumped and Lester was behind me shushing me with his finger. I mouthed, _you are so nosy_...

TBC-

Okay so I'm still stuck on the movie stuff. Steph's song and phrase, "Don't ya' just love that Prince?" What movie?

We have some new nicknames:

Nuts = Lester Tankster = obvious

Smiley = Hal

Bones = Cal


	5. Chapter 5

Previously-

_"If you have a request for me, why can't you go through Nuts or Tankster? I'll do the job. I don't want to be alone with you. You make me uncomfortable and I'm sorry if that offends you."_

_Tank said, "Steph, go back to your station and let me handle this." I slipped past Ranger and the door closed._

_I took a couple steps down the hall and heard Tank bellowing and stopped and then I felt breath on my neck and jumped and Lester was behind me shushing me with his finger. I mouthed, you are so nosy..._

**Chapter 5**

"Rangeman, what the fuck are you doin'? She don't have no recollection of your former relationship and you are being in her words, a "Big Asshole"."

"I don't know how to handle this. I want to grab her and kiss the shit out of her. It's making me crazy not being able to show her or tell her how glad I am she's okay."

"We owe her security, comfort and protection for what's she's been to all of us in the past. You have a problem, then you stick your dick somewhere else and take care of it. She doesn't like you at all and why would that be? Somethin' in her subconscious? Did you hurt her, man?" Oh...this was uncomfortable. Do what to me? I shouldn't even be listening to this.

The next thing you know we heard a thud and a growl a crash and then Tank yelled, "Stop! Get yo' shit together or I will beat you down, brother. You did do somethin' you're ashamed of, didn't you? Guess you were too fuckin' stubborn to admit how much you cared for her and the little girl went away and she got hurt. You didn't drive the car, but you and Morelli probably drove her away. Leave her alone. She seems happy and she's doin' good."

"I can't." What? Relationship with him? Care for me? Yuck. No way.

"Ric, you better be careful. She's not the same person. You best be makin' better choices. Oh yeah, and gettin' her to trust you again, brother, is gonna' be a long road back. She ain't trustin' so easy anymore. She's dealin' with her family turnin' their backs on her and losing a home and she has no memories of her recent past at all. All of us have worked to build relationships with her again. It ain't hard. One thing that is the same is that she's still easy to love." It was quiet for a couple minutes and then we heard a growl and Lester and I tiptoed away just before the door opened. Whoa, what to think about that conversation? So, I have a history with Ranger? Why do I dislike him so much now and why the hell didn't anyone tell me?

I glared at Lester. "Let's go to your office." When he closed the door I poked my finger in his chest.

"I had a relationship with that man and _nobody_ told me?"

"Beautiful, I never knew for sure if it was a physical one. Tank obviously knows more than I do. You and Ranger were close and we were aware that something did happen between you before your accident. I don't think any of the guys wanted to drop that bomb on you and have you be uncomfortable before he even got back. Besides, it's way more fun watching you antagonize him." I glared at him.

"You would rather get your jollies at my expense instead of warning me, "Oh, by the way Steph, you may or may not have been fucking the boss man. Jeez, Lester!"

A big ass grin split his stupid face. "Look, gorgeous girl, everything will work out. He's acting like a jerk because you make him uncomfortable, not the other way around. He's probably going crazy not being able to tell you how he feels. You should work that to your advantage and pretend you still don't know about the relationship and make him sweat. Based on what we heard, he probably deserves to stew in his own pot." I grinned at him. Oh, bad Stephanie just quirked an eyebrow. This could be fun.

Laying in my bed with today's events buzzing in my head, I was finding it hard to sleep. So, instead I focused my thoughts on a plan for Mr. Bossman and it didn't take me long to put some ideas together. Grinning, I rolled over and closed my eyes.

**Day one-Operation Drive Ranger Crazy.** I got up early the next morning and got busy. I found Cha-cha's anaconda shot complete with tattoo off the security camera and it was a great shot and then I pulled down my pants and hopped up on the photocopier and copied a good butt shot and stuck both in the middle of Ranger's in-box. Then I entered a Boss's thought for the day for the whole next month on his desk calendar. Like:

_I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant._

and _I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me._

and _I'll try to be nicer if you'll try to be smarter._

and _Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental._

and _The fact that no one understands my genius doesn't make me a difficult guy._

and _You might have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care._

and _Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say._

Then I made a note under 1000 hours today, _See how I look in tights._

I put his trash can on his desk and put a big sticker on it and labeled it 'IN'.

Last, I grabbed his office chair and moved it into the elevator. I was ready for breakfast now.

"Ms. Plum...Ms. Plum!" Huh?..What? Oh..Uh..Amen."

"Were you sleeping?"

"No, of course not. I say my prayers at this time every day." I crossed my fingers and fibbed.

"We have a meeting in the conference room. You will start attending. Do you think that you can wake up enough to be there at 0930 hours?"

"O, 930. Got it. Whatever you want, boss?" He shook his head and turned and walked away.

The meeting was so boring. He wanted this, he wanted that and stat. Finally I mumbled, "Okay so here's the plan, we'll put a rush on it for ya' and you can run in and growl at us every ten minutes. That will greatly aid our efficiency." The guys chuckled and he sighed and then kept talking. Fifteen more minutes of boring and I raised my hand.

He raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Ms. Plum?"

"Can I be excused?"

"Can you not wait until the meeting is over?"

"Nope." I whispered, "Tengo que ir numero dos (I have to go do number two)." All the guys that could understand Spanish were snickering.

Ranger rolled his eyes and motioned for me to go. I went out chuckling like a kid skipping school and got me a cup of java with cream and sugar and a muffin and went back in chewing and slurping away.

Ranger ignored me as I was coming in and right before the meeting ended, I raised my hand again.

"Yes,...Ms...Plum?"

"I think that it would be appropriate for us to sing the national anthem at the end of every meeting. I mean look at the work you guys do and all." I stood up and placed my hand over my heart. "Come on, you guys." The guys stood up and I began singing in the worst off key voice that I could manage and the guys joined in chuckling and snickering and barely able to get the words out. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Nuts looking at me and laughing.

When we finished I zipped out of the office as fast as I could go. Lester caught up with me. "What are you doing, exactly?"

"Nuts, bad Stephanie has been busy today. I give it maybe five minutes until Ranger is having a talk with Tank." We tiptoed back to the conference room to listen.

"...I'm telling you, Tank, that she's not right. That woman is not the Stephanie Plum I know. She even speaks Spanish now. I think she needs some time with the company shrink. Do you know what all she was up to today? Well let me tell you..." As he was rattling off all my antics, Tank was actually having a good laugh.

"I'm serious, you asshole. I'm worried about her dammit! I care about that woman and I want her back!"

Lester and I were cracking up and moved away towards his office before Ranger came out. When we got in his office I said, "Well, Operation Drive Ranger Crazy has definitely begun."

**Day two-Operation Drive Ranger Crazy.** I had been staring at the printer for an hour and talking to myself when I started scratching my neck and looked up. Ranger was standing there in his boss stance with his hands on his hips and eyebrows furrowed.

"Ms. Plum, what are you doing?"

"Why did you interrupt me? I almost had a solution to one of our biggest problems."

"You have been staring at this printer for an hour and what problem would that be?"

"You interrupted me and now I forgot. I was waitin' on my document, you know crankin' out the treeware."

"But, not one document has come out of that machine." I heard snickers from surrounding cubes.

"Duh..That's why I'm still sittin' here, dude. You buy this machine off the back of a truck on Stark?" Guffaws coming from nearby cubes.

"Go back to your cubicle."

"Can't."

"I can't hardly wait to hear this answer. Why?"

"I've developed a stapler phobia."

"A what?"

"An irrational fear of staplers." More laughing.

"Just go on to the conference room, the meeting will begin soon."

"Okay, Just a minute" I got up and walked around the corner to Zip's cube.

"Zip, would you mind taking your stapler and stepping aside for a minute. I have to send an email." He grabbed the offending stapler and moved away while Ranger watched me with morbid curiosity.

_To: all Rangeman employees_

_ From: Stephanie Plum_

_ Subject: If anybody needs me._

_I will be in the bathroom taking my morning constitution. Just don't interrupt me before I'm finished as I can become very grouchy. Then I will be in the lounge to top off my cup o' joe because I have to report at 0930 to the Ranger meeting (yawn) and I'm going to try the 'Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan' (SLEEP plan) today, but just in case I'm busted at least I have my java as back up._

_Your friend and co-worker,_

_Stephanie Plum_

"And Send." I looked up at Ranger. There was absolutely no way to describe the face he was making now. I got up and walked past him humming as I headed to the restrooms.

When I walked into the conference room, Nuts reached out and grabbed me and pulled me down next to him. All the guys were looking at me and snickering and when Ranger walked in there were a lot of throats being cleared.

Ranger began going over numbers and goals and new jobs coming up and I turned in my chair and began slapping at my forehead with the palm of my hand muttering, "Shut up! All of you you shut up! I'm trying to concentrate." There was dead silence in the room. I turned my chair back around. "Whoo...sorry. I had a moment there. I'm good now. Carry on, chief." Ranger was staring at me like I had grown two heads and Lester's lips were twitching and he squeezed my knee under the table.

Another ten minutes into the meeting and I had my hand over my forehead and head down covering my face when I feigned a small snoring sound. Lester squeezed my knee harder. Ranger stopped for a minute and then began again ignoring me when I let my hand fall and my head hit the table and bounced and looked up like I was startled. Everyone was staring at me. "Uh...What? Standard answer, it wasn't me. It was the dog."

Ranger glared at me and said, "Report to the infirmary now and stay there until Bobby meets you there."

Lester said, "I'll walk her down." Ranger nodded.

We barely got past the door when Nuts busted out laughing. "Man, you are making him crazy. He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his ass."

"Well, now we'll have to let Tankster and Dr. Pepper in on the joke."

TBC- Thanks for the reviews and feedback!

Note-There was some mild confusion regarding Ranger calling her Ms. Plum. This chap might clear that up. He's just trying to figure out how to approach this Stephanie. She doesn't know him. Some have mentioned a therapist for her. Not much you can do for amnesia until the brain heals. It's good for coping, but Steph is adjusting well and happy. Some of you made excellent comments about her lack of baggage and being care free which is absolutely the point. Don't think too hard gals. This story is strictly for fun and Steph is just getting ramped up.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm pretty shocked at some of the reviews on this story:

_Please, someone kill her and put her out of Ranger's misery._

_I liked the first chapters of your story a lot, but the last ones are a too_  
_childish for me. I know you said the story is strictly for fun, but for me it's_  
_not that funny anymore. Just my personal opinion._

_I'm confused...and feeling sorry for Ranger!_

_Just not finding it funny that she (or anyone) would treat their employer this_  
_way. Hope things get cleared up sooner than later._

I took my rant down girls, but I stand by the fact that Ranger is an asshole. Although, I love him and would like to jump him and ride him 24/7 if he were mine, he's not. I don't write fairy tales...My stuff is not the norm. If you don't get it then don't read it. Be fair to this Steph. She went away because she was hurt and got in a terrible accident. She'll be our Steph again and Ranger deserves a little torment, right? Okay, I'm calm now. Back to the story and the rest of you gals, enjoy!

**Chapter 6**

We waited in the infirmary talking for about thirty minutes when Bobby and Tank came in. Tank said, "Bomber, what in the hell is going on with you? Ranger thinks you done lost your mind. He's a mess right now worryin' about you."

"That's the point, Tankster. Me and Nuts overheard your conversation with the boss. Oh, and, by the way, thanks for warning me that I was in a relationship with him. Finding out that he did something to me and was being such a jerk gave me an idea. I'm driving him crazy on purpose." Tank and Bobby looked at each other and cracked up.

Bobby shook his head. "Sweetheart, he's got the company shrink on the way here. Excuse me. I need to call him off." Bobby stepped away to make the call.

"Bomber, you do know that when he finds out he's been played you're in a heap of trouble. He's in agony right now and he will pay you back."

"Are we talking pain, the desert with no camel or death? I need to prepare."

"Pain or desert."

"Do they have like a Hertz transportation rental over there where you can reserve a camel?"

Three male voices said, "No."

"Crap. Well I'm already past the penny. Guess I'm in for the pound. Operation Drive Ranger Crazy is still on."

Tank said, "Just don't blow up anything, set anything on fire or cost the company money and I'll look the other way."

"Dr. Pepper, you are going to have to come up with a good story to tell Ranger since he wanted me shrinked?"

"I'll come up with something. How is it you speak fluent Spanish now by the way?"

"Don't know. I think I had a class in high school."

"Your concussion could have something to do with it too. Could have triggered memories of past learning or experience." I just shrugged.

"Come on, Nuts. Let's make more evil plans for tomorrow." He took my hand and grinned at everyone on the way out the door.

**Day Three-Operation Drive Ranger Crazy.** I verbally let all the guys and Ella know to ignore all the food emails today and then I went to the lounge kitchen to prepare.

_Morning email: Subject: Breakfast_

_Free doughnuts and caramel macchiatos in the lounge. Help yourself._

Lester and I watched the monitor looking through the lounge camera and waited a few minutes. Bingo...Here comes Ranger with hands on hips ready to chew some butts for eating contraband and all he finds is a big platter with some crumbs and a bunch of empty coffee cups. He turned and stomped out and headed to the cube farm looking for yours truly. Lester watched him heading for his office and I hid under his desk. The door opened.

Ranger grouched, "Where the hell is Stephanie?"

Lester said, "Morning constitution, boss."

"Thank God, I didn't get the memo for that again today." Then he slammed the door and left. Lester fell out of his chair laughing.

_Noon email: Subject: Lunch_

_Free pizza and beer in the lounge. Help yourself._

This time Tank was with me and Lester watching as Ranger burst out his office door in a full out run to the lounge to again find a few empty pizza boxes, some crumbs and a boatload of empty beer cans. We watched as again he stomped back to the cube farm, looked at my empty chair and headed to Lester's door. The door opened and Ranger growled, "Where the fuck is Stephanie?"

"Shrink appointment."

"Thank Christ!"

"Problem, Rangeman?"

"Are you aware that there has been mass amounts of contraband in the building and drinking on the job today?"

"No."

"You didn't see the emails or see it in the lounge?"

"No..Uh uh."

"Me neither." He threw his arms up in the air and growled and walked out and slammed the door. All of us held our stomachs cracking up.

**Day Four-Operation Drive Ranger Crazy**. Up bright and early again I went to the control room and paged myself thirty minutes before the morning meeting. "Stephanie Plum, report to humdrum meeting in conference room at 0930 hours. Body Nazi's to the gym on three at 1100 hours for inspection. Be oiled and naked. There will be synchronized chair dancing in cube farm at 1400 hours today. Guests are welcome. Thank ya'..thank ya' very much." Zip and Zero on the monitors were cracking up.

I met Smiley and Cha-cha going into the meeting and we grinned and nodded at one another. I plopped down in a chair across from Chach and swung my leg over the arm and began turning in circles and humming a rock tune while playing air guitar. Ranger walked in and looked at me and turned the color of my giant coffee I had been swigging and it had loads of cream in it. He looked like I was making him physically ill. I figure after today the man will be blubbering Ranger mush. Putty in my hands. Hehe. Why did that all of a sudden sound appealing? Look at him. He's sex on wheels, hot wheels. When he walks, my head bobs to his butt cheek muscles flexing left to right through his cargo pants. I smacked my head. Stop it, bad Steph! I heard a throat clearing and looked up into warm chocolate eyes. There was something there. Compassion, fear...affection? What? I sat up straight.

Ranger talked about the regular detail and number stuff and then began talking about an issue with a security job. I interrupted. "Yo, Ombre. Is your primary issue with the chips or the salsa? Ranger closed his eyes and started to speak...

Chach spoke up, "Salsa?" He shrugged his shoulders and nodded. Ranger snapped his head to Hector, confusion on his face.

"Maybe you should squirt the bird and see what flies (satellite check)?"

"Si. Nosotros rebote mierda y ver si es hardware o software (We'll bounce that shit and verify if it's hardware or software)."

"Bueno idea Chach. Me da also de piel (GIve me some skin)." I put up my hand and we did a complicated shake. Several of the guys were hiding their faces and I could see the chests shaking.

Ranger told Lester and his team to work out the bird issue and move on and began talking again about another job. I mumbled, "How to solve this problem. If you have 'instructione' for said job, don't write them down or heaven forbid utter them. In fact, save them for when the job is almost done and then burp it to us." Well, this happened to bring the house down and Ranger stomped out and slammed the conference room door. Tank stuck his hand up for a five. "You done, boo? He gone."

Lester said, "You are the prank queen, gorgeous. I relinquish my crown. You're the master."

We stepped out and went to Tank's office. "Bomber, it ain't gonna' be long till that man breaks." I felt sad all of a sudden.

"Tankster, what will I do with him when I break him? I don't remember the feelings for him that I had before."

"Same thing I told him. You work on being friends. You learn to trust each other again."

"Tank, did I care about him too?"

"Yes, sis. Lester bring up some camera archives from six months ago. There are some marked R & S." Lester tapped some commands and a folder came up and he hit slideshow and these pictures of me with Ranger began to flash. There were some where we were looking at each other and smiling, some where we were kissing, some where we were holding hands, some where Ranger was caressing my face or hugging me and a couple where Ranger was laughing. I was so surprised. "Wow. He has a beautiful smile."

"You are the only one that has ever made him smile that way. That looks a little like love to me, baby girl. There is nothing that he wouldn't do for you or give you. I'm guessing he just got nervous when your relationship changed and started heatin' up. He's better at repressing feelings than expressing and it probably don't feel too comfortable to him."

"Guess I have a lot to think about. Maybe I should change the operation a little." But, bad Stephanie says today is not over yet. Hehe.

I went around the cubes and grabbed up all the staplers and set them in Zero's cube and told him to call Ranger and tell him that he has fourteen staplers on his desk because Stephanie told him "They are evil and must be destroyed." Then I told him to ask him what he's supposed to do with them.

I spoke with Cha-cha a couple minutes and waited until I heard boot steps coming down the hall and I began banging my keyboard on my desk. I scratched the annoying tickle on my neck as I waited. He cleared his throat, "Ms. Plum!" I turned around and looked at him. "Yo?"

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Oh, Percussive maintenance." There were chuckles behind the cubes.

"What and why?"

"Damn thing was giving me the Vulcan nerve pinch." I heard snickers.

"I have no clue what you're talking about, but I can tell you that I've had enough Stephanie 'irritainment' for today. Hell, I've had enough for the week." Irritainment, that was actually a good one. Maybe he has a teeny sense of humor.

"Well, Mr. Crap-i-tan. If you're so irritated why are you hangin' out at the lowly cube farm anyway? Why aren't you in your area playing seagull manager and having meetings with your idea hamsters and blame storming?" I pointed down the hallway toward the offices. I heard loud guffaws coming from the cubes now and a couple guys stuck their heads up. Then I pointed my finger at them and the heads went down..

"Hey! No prairie doggin'. That's the problem with the durn cube farm. Rodents." Loud laughter. He threw up his hands. "I don't know what the hell to do with you? I really don't. You're driving me crazy!

"Are you gettin' ready to uninstall me or are you just goin' postal? Mi amigos need to know cuz' there's guns up in here and you be holdin' the key to the cabinet." That did it. He growled and turned and stomped away. Several guys fell out of their cubes cracking up.

That night Tank brought Lula and Connie to my apartment and Les and Bob came with pizza and beer. The guys played the the tapes from the last few days for them and they were crying they were laughing so hard. We were all rolling watching a totally frustrated Ranger.

Lula said, "Girl, that man will kill you when he finds out you been playin' him in his own house."

"Yep, I know. I would draft my will, but you all know I don't have anything of value to leave." Nuts picked me up and sat me in his lap. "I'll protect you, beautiful." I lay my head against his shoulder. Despite the fun of the last few days, I had been feeling a little lonely and sad. That night I had a vivid dream.

_I had pulled in several skips and saved enough for rent and a little vacation alone. The summer was almost over and I wanted to spend a few day at the beach, especially since Rex had gone to the big wheel in the sky and my heart was a little broken right now. I usually went to Point Pleasant, but decided to kick it up a notch and head to Wildwood beach at the Jersey Shore. I booked an oceanfront motel called the King's Inn in a convenient location near the boardwalk and hopped in my car on Friday morning and headed to the Shore._

_I checked into the motel and went to the beach for a while and then went looking for dinner and found a seafood place and sat at a table outside and enjoyed the ocean breeze and view. I went in a little gift shop and bought a book and a cute t-shirt and headed back to the motel pool to relax and read. When I went into the room to use the bathroom a little while later and get ready for bed, I grumbled when I found that I had started my period and I hadn't thought to pack for that particular issue. I stuck some cash in my shorts pocket and walked down the street to an all night pharmacy to buy some girl stuff._

_I made my purchase and headed back. I spied something in a shop window across the street that I wanted to take a closer look at and stepped off the curb and was halfway across when I heard the screech of tires and turned. A car weaving and moving really fast was zooming toward me like the occupants didn't even see me. I thought, This is going to hurt really bad. Then I heard a thud and a crunch and I was lifted into the air, pain and then nothing._

I woke up with a start and shivered. Holy crap! Was that a dream or was that a memory? I pulled myself out of the bed and into the shower. I was kind of freaked and tired today.

I went to the lounge and picked at breakfast and headed to the morning meeting. Head hanging down and cup of java in my hand. I plopped down next to Nuts and rested my jaw in my hand. He was about to speak when Ranger walked in. The meeting was fast and professional and I walked out the door heading to the cube farm when Tank stopped me.

"Bomber, you okay?"

"Tank, I'm suddenly really exhausted."

He raised an eyebrow. "Baby girl, despite the antics you put out some quality work the last few days. Take a day."

"Are you sure?"

"Very sure. Now go."

"Okay. Thanks." I kissed him on the cheek.

I headed to my apartment and fell into bed. I needed to shut my brain down completely for a while. I woke up scratching that annoying patch on my neck. I rolled over and looked up.

"I just had a conversation with the company psychiatrist. He hasn't met you and has never spoken to you." I sat up. "Probably doesn't remember. Why do you think they call them shrinks?" I made the quote marks. "Brain shrink." He stood there with his hands on his hips glaring at me. "We need to have a serious talk."

TBC-


	7. Chapter 7

Previously-

_"I just had a conversation with the company psychiatrist. He hasn't met you and has never spoken to you." I sat up. "Probably doesn't remember. Why do you think they call them shrinks?" I made the quote marks. "Brain shrink." He stood there with his hands on his hips glaring at me. "We need to have a serious talk."_

**Chapter 7**

"I'm responsible for you and right now I'm leaning towards having you committed to a psych hospital for evaluation." I stood up and put my hands on my own hips and glared back at him.

"You are not responsible for me!"

"Yes..I..am! It's in a contract. You live here, work here, eat here, you even take your morning constitution here. You do everything under my care and protection! I have power of attorney over you, _Babe_."

"You...you are such an ass." I was shocked that he had that much control over me. The frustrating thing was that he was right. He was in control of my life and I had none. I sat down on the bed feeling defeated. "Okay. Just send me away. I don't care."

Ranger sat down on the bed next to me. "I don't want to send you away, Babe. I care for you. I have for a long time. I bet you didn't know that."

"You care about me?"

"More than just care. We have a history, we've been intimate and it was special. It has been so hard not to touch you and tell you how glad I am that you're back and okay. I'm so worried about your state of mind. I want to help you."

I looked at his sad eyes and I could see that he was being sincere. Crap. "I have a confession, Ranger."

"What Babe?"

"I heard your conversation with Tank a few days ago. I found out then about our relationship and that something happened before my accident. The last few days I've been..."

Oh shit...His eyes changed and I thought he was about to attack me and then he surprised me and laughed out loud and jumped me and started tickling me. "You set me up? You played me?" I couldn't breathe.

"Please..."

"Please what?" He pulled me into his lap and looked in my eyes.

"Just let me breathe." He nuzzled my face with his nose and rested his forehead against mine.

"You scared me, but I can see some of the old Steph in your actions. Proud of you, Babe." He wrapped his arms around me and it felt good. For the first time in a couple weeks, I didn't feel as lonely or sad. I had worked hard trying to be happy and have fun and now I was just plain tired.

"So you're not going to send me to the desert without a camel?"

"No, Babe. I couldn't live with you that far away." He kissed my cheek.

"Do I really make you feel uncomfortable?"

"I'm sorry, but yes a little."

"Well, maybe it's because you feel you don't know me."

"Maybe."

"Then why don't we just spend time getting to know each other again. Starting with you coming up to my apartment to have dinner and then we can watch a movie."

"What movie?"

"How about Ghostbusters II."

"Really? You would watch that with me?"

"For you, absolutely."

"Can we do it down here?"

"Yes."

"I would be more comfortable."

"Done. I'm going to go up and get a few things and the movie."

"Okay..."

Not long after he got back, Ella brought dinner for two to my apartment and we quietly ate together. I was nervous and didn't really know what to say to him. In a short period of time he had gone from being my boss, the ass to what?

After dinner we sat on the loveseat. I put my feet under me and got very close to the arm. He looked at me and then just relaxed and propped his feet on the coffee table and laid his head back as the movie started. In a short time, his eyes closed and his chest rose and fell evenly and I knew he was asleep. I took the opportunity to examine him. He really was gorgeous. His chiseled face and the long eyelashes and dimpled chin and those lips. The long dark hair and his hard muscled body. Stop it and darn it! Good time to hit the sack. I slowly got up and tiptoed away and slipped into bed.

Slowly waking, I stretched and opened my eyes and looked into dark chocolate eyes and shrieked and scrambled backwards and right off the other side of the bed and into the floor with a thud. Ranger looked over the side, "You okay, Babe?" I stood up with as much dignity as I could muster under the circumstances and put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?"

"We sleep in the same bed a lot. You like it."

"I don't like it now. You're a stranger, Ranger."

"Good one. You could. You could like it a lot more."

"I didn't rhyme on purpose. Out!" I pointed to the door.

Then the man pulled the sheet down and stood up naked and grinned at me. I slapped my hands over my eyes and squealed. I started chanting, "You are my boss, you are my boss..." I heard a chuckle and rustling and I peeped through my fingers as the devil turned and gave me a front shot and then left with his clothes and was gone.

I ran to the shower and jumped in and turned it down cold. Oh man, now every time I look at him I'm going to see my boss naked and his...his...Omigod it was huge and it wasn't even half staff! It wasn't art like Hector's, I was supposed to have carnal knowledge of that...that. Shit, he's my boss and what do these guys feed those things with here? They all have that snake thing in common.

At the morning meeting Ranger walked in smiling and humming. Everyone raised an eyebrow and turned and looked at me. I whispered across the table, "Had a big splinter in his ass. Dr. Pepper, you missed that one." They all started chuckling. Nuts mouthed, "Are you...and him..."

I glared at him and whispered, "No, Nuts!"

After the meeting, I went to leave and Ranger stopped me. "Ms. Plum, a moment."

I turned as he strode over to me. When his body made contact with mine and kept moving, I gasped and said, "You're blocking my way." When he had me pinned to the wall, he lowered his head and kissed me. I tried to turn my head and then the kiss became more demanding. "Mmm...I've missed these kisses." I was so dazed when he pulled away I staggered. Holy Hotkiss! He steadied me by putting a knee between my legs and I groaned. What the hell was wrong with me? My parts never ached like this before or felt so good. I tried to extract myself and his knee moved higher and made contact with my...Oh have mercy. Then the torment began. He started moving that leg against me and I tried not to and then I threw my head back and moaned like a wanton woman. "Please..."

He touched my lips with his and said, "Please what, Babe."

"If you don't stop..."

He sucked my lower lip and ran his tongue across it. "I don't intend to stop just yet."

"When?" He picked up the pace and when I tensed.

He said, "Now." Then shame on me I had an orgasm in the conference room, at work, on my boss's knee and it was the best one since...Oh hell I don't remember when I had one last. All I knew was that this one was good and then I was mortified as my legs still quivered and went to jelly.

He wouldn't let me go so I wiggled out of his grasp and slithered down to my hands and knees and crawled to the door. I heard a chuckle behind me. "Babe, don't run...I mean crawl away from me." I flipped him off on my way out.

I grumbled as I headed down to my apartment to change my ruined underwear. Being the Queen of pranks as Nuts dubbed me, I smelled a big rat in the cheese. It was a very sexy and pleasant smelling rat, but it was a rat all the same. I think that now that the boss knows I pranked him, he's going to turn the tables on me. I needed a big mouse trap and I needed help. I grabbed my phone, "Bomber to Nuts, my apartment in five."

"He knows what I did and now he's being too familiar on purpose because I think he's trying to push my buttons and he pushed one this afternoon that sounded the friggin' fire alarm and if you ask me for details I will smack you! He has menace and payback up his sleeve. Short sleeves with bulging muscles and..."

"Beautiful?"

"Yeah?"

"Focus."

"Oh, right."

"Okay, so this is what I know, he plans to get me alone as often as possible and says he wants to get to know me again. He wants to make me uncomfortable in a good way and the jerk proved he could do it today. He's definitely got sex on the brain and he has total control over me. Dang it. I'm at his mercy." I looked at Les.

Les said, "I have one short term idea to get you 'out from under' him in a pinch." He chuckled at his pun and I glared at him and rolled my eyes.

"Spill it, chuckles."

"This watch you have acts as a panic button and tracker. Hector can program it to only signal me, Bob or Tank if you want. He can link it to our watch alarms."

"Chach is the man. That is really cool. Real James Bond type crap."

"That would work to get him frustrated again and the ball back in your court too."

"You're right, sidekick Nuts. You need to be creative when you come to get me so he doesn't get suspicious too."

He gave me an evil grin. "No problemo mala mujer (evil woman). I'll talk to Hector and the guys now. Then he slapped me five and was gone.

As I predicted, my horny boss called me and requested my presence in his apartment for dinner. I picked out some ugly attire, an old blue jean jumper that looked like a cut off version of men's coveralls and a t-shirt underneath, men's athletic knee socks with the color rings around the top and sneakers with old stains in them and one even had a hole in it and then I put my hair in pigtails. Underneath, I put my granny panties on and pulled them up over my belly button, just in case. Then I called Nuts and headed upstairs.

Ranger opened the door wide with a half grin and half smirk on his face and then when he got a good look at me, a grimace. He had pulled out the big guns and had been so sure of himself. He had on very faded blue jeans with holes in strategic places, they were seriously low cut sitting on his sexy hips and they were unbuttoned. He had on a very tight and thin white t-shirt and he was barefooted and his loose hair was wet and where it dripped on the white t-shirt you could see through it. I could see one nipple very clearly and he smelled so good. I caught myself just before I licked my lips, but my granny pants didn't make it.

"Ms. Plum."

"Boss." He grimaced again. Good.

He took my hand and led me to the table and pulled out a chair and then poured us some wine. "You look comfortable." I wanted to hoot as he perused my attire.

"So do you." Ella had obviously outdone herself in the kitchen as usual and it smelled wonderful and my stomach let out a sudden roar. Ranger laughed.

"Babe, you know I have even missed that beast of yours. Let's eat." I blushed at that.

We finished eating and cleaned up and Ranger threaded his fingers through mine and led me to the couch and tried to pull me down on his lap and I did a little turn and twist move to get out of his grasp like Bones had shown me during a defense class and landed on the couch about a foot from him. He gave me a wolf grin like I just challenged him and went to pounce and I hit the panic button. He had grabbed my legs and pulled me toward him and my jumper slid up to show the white of my panties and he grinned and stuck his hand in my skirt and just as he grimaced for the third time tonight and said, "What the hell are...these?", I was saved by a loud knock on his door.

In came Lester, Bobby, Tank and Lula with arms full of beer and snacks. Ranger said, "What the fuck is going on?"

Tankster said, "Big game tonight, Boss. Don't you remember?" Behind him Bobby winked at me. Lula ran over to hug me and stopped and looked me up and down. "Girl, we got to go shoppin'. Where did you get this get up, Homeless 'R' Us?" Lester barked laughter and Ranger spoke up. "I think she is beautiful, but I will gladly give her my card to go buy herself a new wardrobe. As a matter of fact both of you can have fun with it. You can have the day tomorrow if you like, Babe."

That did it, Lula squealed. She was jumping around and clapping. I furrowed my eyebrows. Oh he's good. Very good. Lester shrugged his shoulders knowing very well that Ranger had just moved a man or woman into a strategic position. Well, I would be planning my next move too, buster.

After the game, I stretched and yawned and hightailed it to the door. Looking back, I saw Ranger handing Lula his credit card and whispering something to her and she was nodding and giggling. Shit!

TBC-

Just wanted to say that I appreciate the support you guys threw me the last couple days. Happy reading!


	8. Chapter 8

Previously-

_After the game, I stretched and yawned and hightailed it to the door. Looking back, I saw Ranger handing Lula his credit card and whispering something to her and she was nodding and giggling. Shit!_

**Chapter 8**

Lula called bright and early the next morning and came to pick me up. I met her outside the building and hopped in when her red Firebird squealed to a stop. She was clucking away. She had planned an offensive shopping attack. First, we went to one of her favorite strip malls close to Stark Street.

Omigod, it was spandex and vinyl clothing and lucite heels city. I allowed her to pick for me one low cut halter dress and platforms for...I don't know what for. Then she picked a dancer outfit that looked like lingerie and it was pink and white with bows and a skirt on the bikini bottom with garters and she bought the white hosiery to go with it too. Lula came out with two huge bags of spandex and dancing outfits she said were for Tanky. Then, thank goodness, we were now headed to the Quarter Bridge Mall.

When we got to Macy's, we spread out. I found a couple pairs of jeans, straight and boot cut. I picked a couple blouses and shirts. A couple practical dresses, a suit, a sexy dress and an evening dress. I got some fragrance and some new makeup and then we met in the shoe department and I picked some boots, some casual shoes and a couple pairs of dress shoes and when we picked some matching bags and we were good to go.

Lula headed toward the mall door instead of the street door. "What? We're not ready to go?"

Lula said, "No girl. We gotta' go see Victoria."

"What?"

"Special request. You gettin' a new lingerie wardrobe too." Damn his eyes and hands!

"I'm supposed ta' supervise. I gotta' job to do." Oy...

I picked out a couple sets of bras and panties and a cute sleep outfit and then I watched as Lula dragged an over flowing store shopping bag to the checkout counter. Please tell me that's mostly hers. "Gotcha' covered girlfriend." Crap...

We stopped for lunch at a diner and went totally comfort food before we headed back to Rangeman. I called ahead for help with the bags and was tired and ready for a nap when I got back.

I flopped in my bed and quickly dozed off. I was having an erotic dream about being abducted by hot smooth skinned aliens with big... "Are you going to probe me with that, alien man?" A sexy, husky voice chuckled, " Do you want to be probed, babe?" I reached for his probe and ran my hand down it. "That's a very impressive instrument you have there." The husky voice chuckled again. "Thank you. I can prepare you for this instrument and promise it will be good."

I was slowly coming to wakefulness when I opened my eyes and looked down. I had my hand on something long and hard and it wasn't a probe or a tool. I screamed and then I pressed the panic button and rolled away. I looked at his amused face. I was so pissed. "Ranger, you're invading my privacy and you have now crossed the line..."

The bedroom door burst open and then Tank entered and looked at us. "What are you doing here, Rangeman?"

"I took a nap and woke up with him in my bed. With his...thing...out." I pointed to the damnable thing and licked my traitorous lips.

"Babe, you unzipped me and took my _thing_ out."

"Nu...uh. I was asleep."

"Yes, you did. He lowered himself to me and gave me a shameful kiss and it was so hot and I liked it a lot." Oh crap, he has me Ranger'd. He got me hooked. I'll do anything for a Ranger orgasm now and I suddenly began wailing. Ranger backed up, surprised.

"You've seen it and touched it before and you liked it. It didn't make you cry." And damn my soggy eyes again, I have good taste too.

Ranger reached up to caress my face and rub some tears away and smiled at me.

Tank spoke up. "You know this is not healthy for her. You're playin' damn games and pushin' her and it's too fast. Check yo' shit, brother."

"She'll be fine, Tank. I wouldn't dare hurt her. I was actually curious to see what you brought home from your shopping trip. You looked so sweet sleeping there making your little snoring sounds, I couldn't resist laying down next to you." Ranger reached up and gently wiped more tears away and got up and zipped his pants and kissed me on the cheek and left the room.

I grumbled, "I do not snore. I think I may need to leave here, Tank. I know he's not really trying to hurt me. I'm not ready for..._that. _Him putting it out there like that. Did he do that to me before? Push himself on me?"

Tank laughed. "Every chance he got, baby girl. That man would never admit how he really felt about you." I was sad about the thought of leaving. "Thank you for being such a good friend. Do I have any money of my own to even be a tiny bit independent? I need to start an adult life again Tank. I'm dependant on all of you and him."

"You have every penny that you've earned since coming here. It's in a bank account and I'll give you the paperwork on it."

"Okay. Thanks."

"I'm sorry, Bomber. I know he loves you. He just has no idea how to handle this. I warn you though, a new place and new locks won't keep him out either. He'll come in when he wants." What? Good grief.

"He's a big pain in the butt, huh? I'm sorry I'm a lot of trouble for you guys. It's better I go."

"Bomber, no one here feels that you are trouble, but I will secure you an offsite apartment."

"Thanks, big guy." I hugged him and he left me alone in the apartment.

I knew it was time for me to go. I was a thirty one year old adult and I needed to go back out in the world and live an adult life again. The guys had given me a temporary home and a job and helped me to get back on my feet and I would never forget that. They treated me like family and taught me skills and helped me to adapt and accept my situation and learn to live with it and have fun. I would be okay now.

I went to the lounge for breakfast and was waiting on the elevator to go to the fourth floor. The elevator was taking forever so I opened the stairwell door and headed down. I should be walking the stairs more anyway just for the small bit of exercise. I was on the second set of stairs when I tripped over my own stupid feet and went ass over elbows cracking my head a couple times until I rolled to a stop, lights out.

I opened my eyes and looked up into Hal's worried blue eyes. "Steph, I was on the monitors when I saw you fall down the stairs. I'm going to carry you down to the infirmary so Bobby can take a look at you. You bounced pretty hard."

"Hal, how did I get back to Rangeman? I was on vacation."

"Uh..Steph. We need to go see Bobby." He picked me up and sprinted down the next flight and to the infirmary.

Hal yelled, "Bobby!" Bobby stepped out of his office and walked up to us.

"Steph took a fall in the stairwell and a bump on the head."

"Lay her on the table, Hal. I got her."

"What happened, Steph?"

"Well, apparently I fell down the stairs. Why am I here at Rangeman? I thought I was on vacation. Jeez, I must have been dreaming it. Hal, can you give me a ride home? I think I'm okay, Bobby." I rubbed my head and hopped off the table and started walking to the door.

Ranger walked in the door. "You okay, Babe?" I made the get out the way motion with my hand and walked past him.

"Hal, that ride please?" Behind me I heard "Oh shit."

I walked to the elevator and punched the call button. "Sweatheart?"

I turned. "Yeah, Bob?"

"You need to come in my office. I need talk to you."

"Why?"

"Because apparently you've gained and lost some time, again."

I turned to him. "What do you mean by that?"

"Just come and let's talk. Please." Ugh. That word always gets me.

I followed Bobby into his office glaring at Ranger as I walked by him and sat in a chair opposite his desk. Bobby shut the door and sat down on the desk. "What do you remember last?"

"I thought I was on vacation. Was I dreaming that?"

"You don't remember waking up in the hospital or the accident and moving here?"

"No."

He scratched his head and sighed. "Steph, you did go on vacation and you were hit by a drunk driver and you were in the hospital for two months. Your parents let your apartment go and you have been living here and working here for a while."

"What? How long exactly?"

"More than twelve weeks. Before today you had lost a couple of years. That fall and bump on the head must have triggered something. You don't remember the last three months at all? The time since waking up in the hospital?"

Oh..man. I'm in the twilight zone. I closed my eyes hard and hummed.

"Steph, what are you doing?"

"Focusing on good wake up karma. This time on the right side of the bed."

"Stephanie, it happened." He sighed.

"Shit. This is messed up, Bobby. What's going on with Ranger?"

"Don't know for sure. Lester or Tank might be able to tell you more."

"Bobby, I don't want Ranger or anyone else to know that I have my memory back. I'm really confused and upset right now and when I saw Ranger last,...it was,...we didn't exactly part in a good place. Can you just walk me to the apartment? I need some time to myself. I assume I'm working at my old cubicle?" He nodded.

"I think you should tell Tank. He's been your primary guardian during this and deserves to know."

He walked me to the apartment on level four. Tank walked in and I was sitting on the loveseat with my head down. "Bomber, Bobby called me. You okay?" I nodded.

"Tank, the fall in the stairs triggered my memories back. Just not all of them." Tank looked at Bobby.

"She's missing the last three months now. The time she woke up in the hospital until today."

Tank sat down next to me. "I'm sorry Steph, that all that happened to you. You seemed to be happy since you came here to live."

"What's the situation with Ranger?"

"Pretty much normal. You're driving each other crazy and us too." I laughed at that.

"What about Joe?"

"Don't know for sure. I think you're friendship is strained. Same situation with your parents."

"Thanks for having my back, Tank."

"Always, little sis. What do you want to do now?"

"I need to leave here now that I...remember."

"We talked about that already. I'm securing you an offsite apartment."

"Thanks, Tank. I can't believe I have been working here and living here for weeks. What was I doing? What was I like without my memory?

"You and Lester teamed up and you were causing chaos and driving Ranger batshit! The men have loved you living here." I laughed. That was perfect.

"He deserved it."

"Did he hurt you, little girl?"

"My heart a little."

"You took an instant dislike to him when he came back from his mission. Tormented the shit out of him."

"Good. He's a big chicken. I think he volunteered for a mission to get away from me."

"He did volunteer..." He kissed me on the forehead. "You're off the floor today. Take it easy."

Bobby walked in to check on me later. "I hate my life, Bobby. It sucks, and I don't even remember it all." I was in full blown pitty party mode. I was depressed.

"You may still remember everything. The brain is funny that way."

"I live here and work here and I know Ranger has power of attorney. That was done a long time ago. Shit! He owns me. Then, I find out my relationship with Joe and my parents is strained."

"He does not own you and we came first to get you. He wasn't back yet. He was devastated when he found you after the accident at the Shore. He got you settled into a long term care facility and left on another mission. He was surprised to find out you were here when he got back from the second mission. He was happy that you were awake and out of the hospital, just frustrated that you didn't remember your relationship with him. It drove him crazy. What exactly happened with the two of you before the accident?"

"Oh, the usual relationship stuff. We made the mistake of having sex and it was good. I asked him about our relationship the next morning and he dumped me and sent me back to Morelli."

"I'm sorry. What an idiot. Well, you made his life miserable for a while when he got back. We have most of it on tape. You need to watch it. Will make you feel better. Honestly, I think his problem is that he loves you."

"That's what Tank said." I grinned at him and he kissed me on the cheek and then felt around on my head for any knots or cuts. "I think you did shake your marbles up a little. I'll call Ella and tell her to bring in dinner and then I want you to rest."

"Okay, doc."

"Dr. Pepper, to you. I'll explain later. You gave half of us new names. Let's see, Tankster, Nuts, Smiley, Cha-cha, Bones, Sparky..." I started giggling.

"What was Ranger?"

"I think your favorite was 'Big Asshole'. Ass for short." I burst out laughing.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to leave. Every employee here has enjoyed you being here so much. It's been so much fun."

"That's sweet of you to say, Dr. Pepper." I started getting sleepy and he led me to the bedroom and tucked me in.

I woke up laying on a warm blanket, yet it was hard and silky to the touch. I was rubbing up and down it and moaning. "Mmmm." I pulled it over on top of me and it was giving me these sparks of sensation where it was touching me in my private places. I wrapped my arms around it and pulled it tighter and began to move against it. It's softness brushed my neck and my ear. I loved this blanket. As I rubbed it harder against me I moaned and tensed as I felt pleasure envelop me and spread outward. Then my blanket moaned...

TBC-


	9. Chapter 9

previously-

_I loved this blanket. As I rubbed it harder against me I moaned and tensed as I felt pleasure envelop me and spread outward. Then my blanket moaned..._

**Chapter 9**

What the...? I opened one eye and screamed and struck out with my fist and up with my knee and rolled away and kept kicking and pummeling until I heard a, "Owww! Dammit!" and then a thud. I was breathing hard and crawled over to the edge of the bed and looked down.

The bedroom door burst open and Tank, Lester and Bobby ran in. They looked at my wild eyes and down at the floor where Ranger was curled up in the fetal position naked and groaning. Tank bellowed, "Dammit Rangeman! Have you lost your mind? You want to explain this one?"

Ranger growled, "What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Obviously, she felt the need to press her panic button. Why would that be?"

Ranger sat up and leaned his back against the bed still holding his package. "I'm not sure about a panic button, but I know I didn't invite him into my bed and he...in my sleep! Oooh...You're a big..."

Ranger turned around and smirked at me, "Yeah I know, Asshole! And, I did not..._blank_ you in your sleep. You grabbed me and started rubbing all over me."

"I didn't invite your naked butt and I thought you were my blanket! Where the hell did I learn to fight like that?"

Bobby grinned, "You've been training since you've been living here."

Ranger gave me an evil grin. "I make a very good blanket, Babe." I glared at him.

"Shut up!"

Tank tossed Ranger his clothes. "Boss, you can't be doin' this shit. You actin' crazy. You can't wait to be invited?"

"This is typical Tank. Ranger, never waited to be invited. He picked my locks and just crawled in. Even when I was with Morelli. He's a poacher. Ranger, let me remind you of an important fact. You DON'T want me. You wanted me to go back to Morelli. I felt stupid and humiliated after going through with that deal. What the hell do you want from me now?"

He opened his mouth and then shut it.

"You also said that there is no price for what we give each other any more. Obviously, that was a lie, because it looks like there is a price in your mind for me living here. I have to leave."

"That is not true and you don't have to leave. I didn't lie. Babe, there never really was a price."

"I secured her an offsite apartment. Under the circumstances, I think that's best", Tank said.

Lester said, "Did you sleep with her and then tell her to go back to Morelli? That would be cold. No wonder she took an instant dislike to you when you came back."

Ranger's head snapped back to me. "Wait a minute. You remember. You got your memory back when?"

Bobby said, "When she fell down the stairs. We decided to keep it quiet because she was pretty shook up." Ranger zipped his pants and shrugged on his shirt.

"I need to talk to Stephanie alone."

"That's up to Steph", Lester said.

I sighed, "It's okay, guys. I guess I owe him that much. He has been taking care of me for a while."

They nodded and left.

Ranger turned and looked at me and then focused on my eyes. "Babe, I'm ashamed I said the things I did to you. I know I hurt you. At the time, I thought that pushing you away was the right thing to do and then I almost lost you and I have been in hell these last few months. All I've wanted was to be close to you again. It's been driving me crazy." He laughed. "Lester's right. You took an instant dislike to me when you had no memory of me. You tortured me."

"Good. That was a lot of words from you. Was that hard?" He smirked at me.

"Don't be a smartass. I'm not expecting anything special from you just because you live here. I just wanted to be with you. I missed you, Babe. Do you still care about me?"

"Well, of course I do. You're still my friend."

"You're more than _my_ friend."

"You're still looking after me, but I think it stems from guilt or pity. I don't want either of those"

"Not at all. I'm being selfish. I want to be close to you. I want you here." His eyes were dark and sexy.

"Like what? Have sex with me again?"

"No. Not exactly." He moved to his knees like the sexy predator he is and leveled his gaze on me.

I started backing up on the bed on my hands and knees. "Ranger?"

"Stay just like you are." He moved to crawl up on the bed and I backed up and off it.

"Stop, right now!" He gave me a wicked grin and I hightailed it on all fours around the bed heading to the door.

He chuckled and flopped down on the bed and reached over the side for me. I yelped and headed underneath the bed and my goal was to come out the other side and get out the door when my butt got stuck. Not just stuck, wedged. Damn, all those doughnuts and Tastycakes!

The jerk laughed out loud and reached over and gave me a smack on the ass. From under the bed I said, "I hate you and where is this damn panic button I'm supposed to have?"

I heard him move off the bed and down to the floor. He picked up a foot and massaged it and then kissed it and kissed all the way up the back of my leg to my boyshorts. "Not fair, Ranger." He picked up the other foot and sucked my big toe and I gasped. Then he sucked every other toe and licked the bottom of my foot and I moaned.

"You're taking advantage of me! You are such a rascal, Ranger." If I had him like this, I would...Oh, Moses! I imagined a whole lot of stuff I'd like to do and just then a hot flash and a warm gush of...I squeezed my thighs together and crossed my ankles. Shit...

He licked and sucked his way up my other leg and then pulled down my boyshorts to expose my butt and kissed me and then bit me as I yelped and sucked hard and I knew he had just left a big hickey on my rear. He groaned, "Mmmm...Do you know why I said no to having sex again?

"No, and I don't care. _You_, are a big tease. Help me out and stop doing what you're doing, please."

He licked the inside of my thigh and I squeaked in shock. "I don't want to have sex with you. I want to make love with you."

"You don't do that just one time and you don't do relationships."

"No I don't, and you're right. One time won't nearly be enough. That would be like eating one potato chip or taking one bite of a boston crème doughnut and leaving the rest. That would be wrong. Right, Babe?" He was peppering kisses along my butt and I was getting confused.

"Mmm..boston cremes and sex." Wait, what is he doing? "Damn you Ranger! I have already lost enough, don't you think? Leave me a little dignity. Please stop playing this game and get me out. I don't understand what you want from me and I can't translate Ranger bullshit into anything that makes any sense. I'm not sleeping with you once or twice or whatever and then you send me away again. Your men brought me here, you helped me and you can now be rid of any guilt issues. Now pull my butt out."

He grabbed my hips and jerked me back and pulled me into his lap and rested his hand behind my neck and pulled me to him and gave me a gentle kiss. "I want you to be mine, Babe."

"Yours?" He nodded and leaned my head back to look in my eyes and lowered his head. After about a half hour of hot and steamy making out, the glass doors on my closet were almost fogged up. Ranger laced his fingers with mine. "Would it make you uncomfortable to move to the penthouse and stay with me? I'm not expecting anything right away. I just want you close to me again. I've missed just the little things so much, like having dinner together, holding you at night, talking to you. Be with me." He nuzzled me and brushed my lips with more gentle kisses.

"That would be so much a relationship. Why can't you say the word? Are you allergic?"

"No. That's ridiculous. I want you to be part of me and my life."

"That, is a relationship. I will get you to say it."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Damn skippy!"

"So, you'll give me a chance?"

Oy, in for a penny, in for a pound. "How do I know you won't change your mind?"

"Because, I remember how I felt when you couldn't wake up and talk to me or touch me. I knew I loved you then."

"You what me?" He nodded.

"Oh..Now I know I'm in the twilight zone or you have a head injury too." Sheesh.

"I'm sure that my head and my heart won't be happy without you."

He had just reduced me to putty in his hands. I was shocked. I was still going to give him a hard time. He was going to have to wait for it from me. I crawled out of his lap and backed up on my hands and knees and began to taunt him.

"Oh really?" I sang a little tune, "You want to kiss me...You want to date me...Love me and marry me." His eyes got big and dark as a desert night and he reached for me and I guess due to my new training, I thwarted his advance. "Ooh, Stephanie learned well from her masters." His hand snaked out lightning fast and he had me under him and breathing hard.

"Stephanie will only have one master from now on and the same goes for Ranger. Only one mistress, one Babe."

"Okay then, but this Stephanie is not gonna' put up with any bull crap. Got it?" He nodded and gave me a dazzling smile.

"This Stephanie scares the shit out of me." I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his sexy lips.

I woke up the next morning in a position that I had missed. Half on top of Ranger with legs and arms in a tangle and there was no way I was pushing him out of my bed today. He opened one eye and looked at me and then nudged me with his morning wood. "You wanna' fool around, Babe?

"Maybe." He quirked an eyebrow at me and kissed my neck and ear. "How can I persuade you?"

"More of that. I lost my memory and I might need a refresher on that foolin' around stuff."

He raised my t-shirt and cupped a breast. "I can definitely help you with that and I can help you with these." He put both hands into the back of my panties and began lowering them off my backside. When he got them half way down my legs he flipped us over and finished the job and then quickly pulled my shirt over my head. He wrapped his mouth around a taut nipple and I squeaked, "Starting to remember. Do the other one." He chuckled and did give the other some attention.

His hand began moving down my stomach and then his head followed and a short time later, I was fully persuaded and begging for a refresher course in the ultimate Ranger induced orgasm. In other words I growled at him, "If that snake's alive, put it in now."

I did move to the penthouse with Ranger and we were a couple now in every way. I lived my fantasy of having hot gorilla, balls to the wall sex with a guaranteed Ranger induced orgasm every single time, every single night. Then we made love once or twice in the morning. He's pretty good, make that awesome in the shower too.

We had date nights and we left love notes and he sent me flowers a few times and bought me several small sentimental gifts. It took a while for me to really trust this new side of Ranger and accept his words and gestures of affection. After a few months, Ranger rolled over one night in his sleep and snuggled me and whispered that he loved me and I knew then for sure that he meant it and I finally felt secure enough to open my heart and myself to this complicated man that drove me crazy for him and didn't like relationships.

TBC-

More movie stuff. What movie is this from? I sang a little tune, "You want to kiss me...You want to date me...Love me and marry me."


	10. Chapter 10

I'm sorry readers that I'm behind on posting. My Dad just passed from cancer and it's still going on with family and the funeral and stuff and I will be back soon catching up. Thank you for all your great reviews!

Previously-

_After a few months, Ranger rolled over one night in his sleep and snuggled me and whispered that he loved me and I knew then for sure that he meant it and I finally felt secure enough to open my heart and myself to this complicated man that drove me crazy for him and didn't like relationships._

**Chapter 10**

My life was unusually boring and uncharacteristically delightful for a change. I had my hot sex God making me happy every night and my days were spent having fun with my best friends and Ranger and I were happy. Really happy.

I was doing my morning routine on the mats with a couple of the guys and I went for Ram and missed and struck Tank at a full run and bounced off him and crumbled. Out cold.

I woke up rubbing my head. "Damn, Tank. That was like hitting a friggin' brick wall. Put a warning sign on your chest or somethin'." Bobby had walked up and laughed. "Let me look at you, Bomber. You scramble your marbles again?" Then I got this flash of memory.

"Omigod! Lula shot Connie in the ass." All the guys went, "What?"

"When I was in the hospital."

Bobby said, "Wait you remember being in the hospital? Do you remember anything else?"

"Oh no! I made my doctor thinks that Joe was a... Oh shit!" And my parents... I owe them an apology. I never really thought about it that way. That's why my parents were so upset and wouldn't let me come home. They were hurt and humiliated. I have to talk to them."

Bobby smirked, "Well, he did _do_ those things didn't he? With no memory of your romantic relationship with Morelli, you saw that experience for what it was and your parents should be ashamed if they knew and still wanted you to get with him."

"Doc McAllister was so nice. He was really upset about that and was trying to protect me. I still want to see Joe and my parents. We need to mend this."

I smiled. "I remember what I did to Ranger. Oh, I was bad and I gave you guys new names..."

"Yeah, Bomber. It was good times. Tons of fun."

Bobby finished checking me over. "I think you're fine. Just take it easy the rest of the day."

"Okay, Dr. Pepper." I winked at him.

The rest of the day, I spent thinking about the pranks and how much fun I had doing them. When I looked at my calendar, I got an evil idea. April Fool's Day was coming up and I had some news for Ranger that I had been putting off every day. Maybe I could find a way to work it in and it wouldn't make it seem so bad or so hard.

The next day, I made two important phone calls and I asked Joe to meet me at my parents house at lunchtime. When I arrived, my Grandma was at the door smiling at me and until that moment I had not realized how much I missed my family.

I hugged her. "I've missed you, Grandma."

"Me too, Stephanie. It's been boring around here without you. I'm glad you're here. I think the time is good for this." Then she winked at me and took my hand. My parents and Joe were sitting at the dining room table and my mother had already put out sandwiches and salads and drinks. I sat down and took a deep breath.

"I called you because I just got the rest of my memory back yesterday. At first, I lost most of the last three years and then the time between the accident and the ten weeks or so right after that. In the hospital, I didn't remember having the relationship with Joe the last couple years. Until yesterday, didn't remember what I told the doctor in the hospital. Okay?" They all nodded. "I want to talk about those things I recalled when I was in the hospital."

"Joe, I'm sorry if I hurt and humiliated you. I don't really think of you as that boy. I know that you changed and you're a good man now. Mom and Dad, I didn't mean to disrespect you. However, I am going to repeat something a friend said to me and that is that without my memory, I saw what happened when I was six and again when I was sixteen for exactly what is was.

The choo choo thing was like curious kids playing doctor I guess, the other humiliated me. I just pushed it all to denial land and called it my fault because I was taught that nice 'Burg' girls don't let things like that happen and if it does then you don't talk about it. Mom and Dad, you knew both times and you didn't do anything either time to protect me or acknowledge that somebody had hurt your daughter. So, my doctor was right. What does that make you? He only cared for my safety because he knew my mind was fragile at that time."

Joe was the first to speak. "Cupcake, I hate the mean little cocky shit I was back then that did those things to you and I'm _not_ him anymore. I was hoping that we would have the rest of our lives for me to make that up to you. I'm sorry."

"Thank you, Joe. I appreciate that. I would like to be friends if we can. You have to understand now that there won't be a future for us though." He nodded.

My Dad spoke next. "Pumpkin, I've had a lot of time to think about all this and I'm ashamed. I was in denial land too and I wasn't happy and I was selfish. I took a boring postal job that I hated because I had obligations, when I really wanted to be doing something more exciting like I had in the military and I guess I resented my family a little because I felt like I made the sacrifice for all of you. That was wrong. The Mazur side of the family is not the only side that has the adventure bug. I'm so sorry that I didn't support and protect you better. If I had been taking care of you, the second incident may not have happened." The he glared at Joe. Joe paled slightly. "I plan to be a better Dad to you now and I will support you no matter what."

We all looked at my Mom. "Oh, for goodness sakes! I love you Stephanie. You're my daughter. You just don't know how this family has been talked about and mocked and laughed at because of you. It was almost too much to bear."

"So at six years old, it was my fault I was taken advantage of in a neighbor's garage?" Joe winced.

"Well...of course not."

"When I lost my virginity out loud and in public at sixteen, it was my fault?" Joe was hanging his head.

"You could have had better judgement, but no. You put yourself in a situation, alone with a teenage boy with raging Italian hormones."

"I was working, doing my job!" She shrugged her shoulders.

"When my new husband, Dickie, screwed Joyce on my new table, it was my fault?"

"Well, men have needs. I don't know if those were being met", she said smugly. I gritted my teeth.

"I embarrassed you as a bounty hunter?"

"Oh my gracious. The newspapers, the garbage, the low lifes, the deviants, murderers..."

"Some of those I know you're speaking of are my friends, Mooner, Dougie, Sally, Lula, Randy, Ranger..."

She just kept grimacing. "So you preferred that I marry Joe, no matter the past, because he was 'Burg'?"

"Why couldn't you have been like Thelma's daughter, married with three lovely children..."

"She has herpes, Mom. Husband cheating."

"Margaret Delisi's daughter, two children, works at the feminine hygiene factory..."

"She tried to commit suicide last year and spent a month in a mental institution."

"Well..."

"Stop...I live with a man that loves me and supports my dreams and me, friends that love me, have a job that challenges and excites me and I'm deliriously happy. What's embarrassing about that? Can't you be happy for me?" Poor Joe winced again.

"You're living in sin, Stephanie, and that is just not done."

"You sent me there to live when I was helpless. You didn't condemn me when I was living with Joe."

"Not our fault, you getting yourself hurt. Joe was your fiancé. That is different."

"So, you would prefer me to be unhappy or broken or desperate like some of these other poor women just to be 'Burg' proper?"

"Yes...No. Now your twisting this conversation to your advantage. You should remember your duty as a respectful daughter."

"I feel sorry for you, Mom. Thank goodness for my journey to see what I see now. Grandma and Dad, I'll call you. Joe, take care and I hope you find someone special."

Back at Rangeman, I was melancholy the rest of the day. I just went to the apartment and got my notebook out and continued to plan my fun day coming up. In the middle of the night I snuck out of my warm bed next to Ranger to do a little prep.

**April Fool's Day** - I woke as Ranger left to go to the gym and hopped in the shower and was ready to roll in thirty. I hummed my way downstairs. Nobody knew my plans for today. This would be a day for old times sake, because my life was about to change. This would be a last hoorah and an all out assault on Rangeman. I rubbed my hands together.

Everyone got new computer backgrounds. Hector got a big busty babe with booty and everyone else got a Rue Paul lookalike with an extremely enormous package seen through the flimsy dress. Then I went down to the shooting range and replaced all the targets with male body parts, big male body parts.

Tank got a penis mouse pointer, Bobby's receiver was glued to his phone. All of the cubicle phone wires were swapped and the keyboards as well. Zip's stapler was booby trapped with a pop cap to explode when used, I filled up all the bathroom stalls with pants legs and shoes and locked the doors on the control room level and in the gym. This would make all the stalls look occupied. Last, I re-decorated Lester's gym locker.

I went down to the lounge and got a muffin and coffee and sat as some of the guys came in. Hal sat down next to me and laid his phone down. Bingo!..I asked him if he would get me a napkin and then programmed a nasty bodily function ringtone into it. Then Hector walked in and laid his phone down. Bingo! This was so easy. I grabbed his phone and changed the language to Russian. Then did the same on his computer back at the cubes.

I then zipped out and pulled up cameras on my computer and there was Lester finishing up in the gym and getting ready to head to his locker. I sent out an email I had drafted from Lester for the guys to meet him in the gym locker room. I sat and watched as Lester opened his locker. There was a Justin Bieber poster on the door, several pairs of girls' panties and a bra hanging, a big box of preparation H, athlete's foot cream and a few bottles of Beano. There was a stud magazine with a couple hot dudes on the front in thongs, a tube of lube, a penis pump and a bottle of male enhancement pills.

Lester put his hands on his hips as the guys began filing in behind him. One snicker turned into two and three and then Lester turned around and the guys were slapping him on the back and roaring with laughter. He turned and looked at the camera and grinned right at me. One April fool.

I picked up my phone and rang Bob's office and pulled up the infirmary camera. I dialed his number again, waited a minute and dialed it again and then I saw a phone being launched out of his office and crashing to the infirmary floor into several pieces. Hehe. Two April fools.

I had plugged in a search when I heard a door open and a big booming bellow, "Stephanie!" I hid as big boots stomped into the cubicle area and Tank asked, "Where the hell is she?"

Hector said, "Estaba aqui hace un minuto (she was here a minute ago)."

"Come to my office, please."

"El problema?"

"Yeah. I need you to get the dick and the dude off my damn computer!"

"Como (say again)?"

"Just come in here!" Hehehe...Three April fools.

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Hal came off monitor duty and headed to his cubicle. I waited till he was settled in and then dialed his cell phone. A loud farting noise sounded and several guys turned and then another louder one erupted and I heard Hal whisper, "What the hell?" I snickered and dialed again. This time a loud and really sick burp sounded and Hal clicked the button on his phone fast and whispered, "Hello?" I hung up and peeked around the corner and his face was blood red.

I waited another beat and dialed again and the equivalent of a burrito and beer hangover fart erupted and shook his cube and the next ring was a full on nasty two liter soda belch. The guys broke out in loud guffaws as Hal ran from the room, his phone still burping. Durn, even his hair was blushing. Poor Hal. Four April fools.

"Oh Chach, I spilled something major here. Can you get me something to wipe it up." I called his phone and left a message and told Zip to leave one and then I left another. When he came back he handed me some wipes and then went to his cube and looked at his phone and went to check his messages.

By the third message he was cursing in Spanish and smacking his phone on the desk. "Hey there, buddy, you okay? I need some help with this search. Can you pull up Gallagher and verify these results?" He pulled up the file and I heard a curse and then a smack to his keyboard. I slipped out of my chair and headed quietly out of the area as he roared, "Estefania! Poco de mierda (you little shit)!" He had kind of spent half the morning swapping cables and keyboards already. Five April fools.

I removed my bra in the restroom and tweaked my nipples and pulled the neck of my t-shirt down enough to squeeze out a tiny amount of cleavage and walked in front of Cal at his monitor. I leaned over him and looked at the monitor and he did a double take and then came back to my breasts. I made like I tripped and pulled his gun while he was still staring at my boobs.

I zipped in an empty office and sent Cal an anonymous email and told him that his gun was being held hostage and in order to get it back he would have to change and leave his cargos and walk around the rest of the day in black boxers and boots. Another email would come at the end of his shift with the location of the gun.

A half hour later he complied because losing a gun was akin to misplacing a nut, didn't happen in the Rangeman world. Bones walked down the control room hallway growling and sporting boxers, white hairy legs and a frown on his face. Very nice butt and package. Right before Cal made it to an office door, Tank walked into the hallway. Uh..oh. I heard a booming, "Your out of uniform soldier." Poor Bones went to open his mouth and Tank laughed and held up a hand, "Don't bother, little sister's been busy all damn day." Snicker. Six April fools.

Fourteen staplers were rounded up and placed on Zero's desk with a note. "We're Back For Revenge!" About fifteen minutes later he came around the corner returning from his break and I heard, "Man, not again!" Chuckle. Seven April fools.

Down the office hallway I heard loud voices and slipped down and peeked in Tank's office. Ram was holding up a target with a huge uncut penis and two gigantic balls with targets on them and he was saying, "This ain't right, man. It's against...Well, shit. I'm just not gonna' shoot no fuckin' balls and look what it says on the bottom!"

I heard Tanks voice, "Bonus..mohel..points..for..shooting..the..head. Damn!"

"I ain't Jewish and_ that _is wrong, man." Ram's a marksman. Bet he could make that shot. Eight April fools.

I had been dodging Ranger throughout the day. Watching him on the cameras and staying out of his way. I went back to the cube farm and waited for one of the guys to get up and then raced over and used his email.

To: Boss

From: Hal

Subject: Sick...Got diarrhea. Next Zero got up still dealing with the staplers. I ran over and hi-jacked his email.

To: Boss

From: Zero

Subject: Sick...Got food poisoning. Finally Hector walked away. I zipped around to his part of the cube.

To: Boss

From: Hector

Subject: Sick...Venganza de Montezuma (Montezuma's Revenge). Next, was just me and I really wanted to run.

To: Boss

From: Stephanie

Subject: Sick...Morning Sickness.

Just as I predicted, I heard a door blast open and then boots stomping my way. He stopped in front of my cubicle with his hands on his hips and the corners of his mouth were twitching. Then suddenly, BAM! A scream and about five guns were pulled. Ranger had rolled and pushed me to the ground and was laying on top of me. He looked down at me. "Explain!"

"Uh...April Fool's Day...Hea...hea...hea."

"All clear, Boss. Booby trapped stapler", Zip yelled out.

Ranger pulled me up and glared at me. "You have been busy today, Ms. Plum. In my office now!" Uh oh. Is it too late for a do-over? I could rethink my plan a little maybe. Like, I could run. He pulled me in his office and shut the door behind me and grabbed me to him and kissed me.

"I want details about that last email."

"Well...Uh...Not so much a joke."

"You're telling me that you're pregnant?"

"How mad are you on a scale from one to ten and if it's over a ten then do you want me to pack my bags? Please don't send me somewhere really hot because I understand I'm going to get fat and it will just make me sweat a lot and the swelling in my ankles worse."

"I'm not mad."

"It was an accident. Sure didn't have this in my future plans. Hope this doesn't throw a gigantic monkey wrench in yours. Damn, birth control. I'm really sorry. Must have been those antibiotics when I got that sinus infection back in February. You know we really got a little wild around Valentine's Day too..."

"Babe, stop talking."

"Excuse me?" I put my hands on my hips and glared at him.

He grinned at me. "We'll deal with it."

"Deal with_ it_?_ It_? This is not a bad case of gas I've got here. Well, come to think of it, I'll probably have that too; along with the swollen ankles. Oh Lord, my mother got hemorrhoids..."

"Babe..." I got tears in my eyes.

"Ranger, we never even got the non-relationship thing worked out. You can't just go from friends, to lovers and bounce to baby making. If you refuse to have a relationship with me, will you have one with squirt?"

"Squirt?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yep. You're the one that didn't want to wear the condom. I warned you, but noooo..You wanted to feel..." He shook his head.

"Babe! Don't you think maybe that I needed to hear something from you in all these months we've been together." I smirked.

"Like what?...Uh..okay...Oh Baby, your the best I've ever had. I just can't keep my hands off of you. You have the hottest body and the biggest..."

"Babe!" He was grinning now. "You know that's not what I'm talking about. I could get that out of any woman. There's something I want from you."

I mumbled, "_Devil. You already knocked me up. What do you want now, my soul_?"

He grabbed me and hauled me down to the couch in his office and kissed me gently and then traced my lips with his tongue and I opened my mouth for him and he captured my tongue and put his fingers through my curls and kissed me until I was moaning and moving my hands up the inside of his shirt. He pulled away and looked at me. "How do you feel about me?"

"Hot and bothered." I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down for more.

"Good, but that's not what I'm asking. What are your feelings for me?"

"You're my best friend. You know that."

"Babe, we're going to get this out right now. Tank is one of my best friends too. I don't want to have a baby with him."

"You are the most important person in my life, Ranger. You make me happy."

He made a frustrated sigh. "Maybe the reason I'm not talking relationship is because you can't tell me how you really feel!"

"Right now, I'm feeling trapped and upset. I'm trying to be happy, but I don't want to be pregnant. My life is a mess again and now I have someone else to worry about. I knew you were going to be a dick about this. I've been going through hell for a month..."

"You have known for a month and didn't tell me and what the hell do you mean, _you don't want to be pregnant_?"

"Let me up. I'm not feeling so good." He surprised me and let me up immediately and walked to his desk and sat behind it.

"Have you even thought about seeing a doctor yet?" His blank face had come down. Shit. This didn't go well at all.

"No."

He said coldly, "Make an appointment and take Ella with you. You are on office duty only now. No more pranks. You're dismissed."

I walked out of the office door and back to my cubicle. I sent Cal an email to tell him where his gun was and finished the two searches I had left and went up to the penthouse apartment and packed a bag. I have never been able to talk about my feelings and I won't say the words now that I'm pregnant and have us both trapped in a relationship that doesn't exist. It was wonderful while it lasted, but now I've been dismissed. Right now, I didn't feel like crying. Later, when I'm settled I probably will.

Ranger had bought me a little silver Audi A5 that I loved. I took the stairs and headed to my car and dropped my bag in. Then I pulled out of the garage and headed to an ATM and then to a decent motel for the night. Tomorrow, I'll find myself an apartment and buy some new furniture to fill it. Thanks to my steady job at Rangeman and no real living expenses, I had earned myself a nice fat little bank account for once.

My phone rang as I was getting into bed. It was Ranger and I knew he had trackers on my car and knew where I was; so I just answered it.

"Ranger."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm moving out."

"No, you are not. You are pregnant with my baby and you will stay with me so that I can keep you both safe."

"You..do not..own me. You can be there for the birth and you will have joint custody if you want it. Same deal you gave your ex-wife it you want. You're good at making deals."

"Babe, don't make me angry. All I asked you for were your true feelings. If you don't love me, I have the right to know now."

"And, I won't say the words you want me to now that I'm knocked up! I didn't want this!"

"You don't want to have the baby?"

"I...don't want to talk about any of this right now."

"You better not even think about..." I heard the anger and the menace and disconnected.

The phone rang again and I ignored it and turned it off. Damn. He'll be here in ten minutes if I don't leave. I grabbed my stuff and opened the door and ran smack into Ranger's chest. He pushed me back through the door and closed it. He was mad and his face was flushed. Oh boy...This was not good.

"Funny thing is, I know how your mind works. I knew your next move before you thought about making it. We are getting this out, right now."

TBC-


	12. Chapter 12

I was originally going to end the story there in the office with an hea, but you guys hate it when I rush an ending. So, I decided that this is one story that deserved the big HEA with full out bells and whistles. So, I'm writing a few more chaps for you. There will be another twist though and I'm blue. You know I can't help it...

Oh yeah, I'm giving you some more romance too. I wrote this very light because I rated it T. Not my usual good stuff.

Previously-

_"Funny thing is, I know how your mind works. I knew your next move before you thought about making it. We are getting this out, right now."_

**Chapter 12**

He kicked his boots off and began undressing. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm getting comfortable. This will likely take a while and I can see that I'm going have to play dirty to get you to be truthful with me." Damn! I'm in deep doodoo now...

"What..what kind of dirty are you...?" Then his pants hit the floor and he was naked with a wolf grin on his face. Crap. That is so not fair. I was wracked by a hot flash just looking at him and I was already feeling the dirty.

He stood with his feet apart and his hands on his hips. "Take your clothes off." I rolled my eyes at him. "Put your loin cloth on cave man and stomp home. Mama's not in the mood to play." That made his evil eyes twinkle and he grabbed at me and I ran around the bed squealing. He kept coming and I jumped on the bed and began crawling across. He had me by the ankles before I even got half way across. My panties and shirt were gone before he flipped me over. He kissed my neck and nipped the shell of my ear. "Don't make me restrain you. You know how I like that."

"Is this going to be like make up sex?" I moaned as he kissed and licked my collar bone. "No, I'm going to have to torture you. It's an interrogation."

"Where are your torture tools?" He put his tongue in my ear and ground his erection into me. "Hmm...Your going torture me with wet willies and whack me with your club..I'm so afraid." He chuckled and threaded his fingers through mine and held them out to the side and began licking and kissing a trail down my body. Have mercy, this man loves to kiss and lick and he's the best at it. He's probably done a foreplay boot camp. Oh dear, I think I'm going to be in trouble here...

An hour later, I was sweating and thrashing and begging Ranger to please let me have an orgasm. He had tortured my whole body with _his_ whole body and still wouldn't give me relief. "Please, Ranger. I can't take any more..."

"I want you to tell me your true feelings for me."

"You're the best friend and lover I've ever had and I sincerely care about you...Now just get on with the lover part!" He disappeared between my legs and I was almost there and he stopped, again.

"Dammit! Ranger, you are just being cruel now!"

"Tell me the truth! Say the words..."

"I adore you. You know that. Please..."

"Wrong answer..." He raised my legs and blew on me and reached to touch me. "Yes...Do it."

"Say the words..." I was thrashing. Then I felt his tip enter me. "Yes...Finally...Don't stop!" Then he pulled out and I screamed in frustration.

"Say it now and I will give you what you want!"

I yelled out at him, "I LOVE YOU, YOU BIG ASSHOLE. NOW PUT IT IN AND FINISH THE DAMN JOB ALREADY!" He grinned and kissed me tenderly and made love to me and I had the biggest doomsday orgasm. Jeez, the wait had even made the pay off torture. The orgasm was almost painful, it was so intense that it went on forever and so did his. I hoped the adjacent rooms weren't occupied or they would be calling the cops we were yelling so loud.

He reached for me a few minutes after, "Don't touch me, I'm still tingling." He reached down and touched me anyway and I spasmed and smacked his hand and he chuckled. He was playing with my finger and kissed my hand and threaded his fingers through mine. "Are you happy now? You heard the words."

"Almost." He took my hand and held it in front of my eyes. I screamed and sat up. There was a gigantic rock on my ring finger. "What the hell is this?"

"It's a ring."

"I know that smart ass. What's it doing on my finger?"

"They're generally used in conjunction with a proposal."

"Don't you dare! I won't do it just because I'm pregnant."

"I'm not asking just because you're pregnant. Now we have a relationship. I love you and you love me. I'm asking so we're a family before the baby comes. Not exactly the romantic way I would have liked to ask, but I already had the ring. I would have asked you sometime soon anyway."

"You had the ring already?"

"Yeah, I did. I love you Stephanie Plum and I want squirt. Please marry me and be my wife and my baby mama." He was grinning like the cat that ate the canary with teeth. I always loved it when he smiled like that. He has a gorgeous smile.

"If I agree, could we do it quietly. I already did the big and loud. I don't need that. Do you?"

"No Babe. I don't need big and loud. I don't care for that either. We could make it private and intimate and fun with just our close friends and family."

"Okay...Then I'll think about it."

"What? Looks like I'm going to have to get the tools ready again." Then he rolled over and buried his head between my breasts.

"No...Stop...You might resent me and little squirt later." He chuckled and kissed my lips and opened my mouth with his tongue and caressed me with that heavenly tool. "Mmmm...Will this still be as good?" He laughed.

"Maybe even better, Babe." He rubbed his thumbs back and forth across my breasts and continued kissing my face and mouth. "You're not afraid at all?"

"Not anymore. These last few months have been better than I thought they would be. I love you and I'm happy. Are you?"

"Very. I have everything I ever wanted with you and now more. It's not that I don't want the baby. I'm just scared." He pulled me closer and nuzzled me.

"I know. Trust me and please marry me, for the two of us and squirt. Don't forget, I know how your mind works. You'll be happier and more secure in our relationship if we're married and committed. I will be too." He smiled and took my hand and gently kissed my palm and my ring finger and pulled me into a hug.

Darn it. The big guns. "I do trust you and I love you too. Okay. Right now can we just do some more practicing for the honeymoon."

"Yes, Babe. All night long." Yummy. Ranger lovin' without the torture.

We arranged a Memorial weekend wedding at the Grand Hotel in Cape May. The ceremony would be on the ocean view deck and the reception in the adjacent Grand Ballroom. Ranger booked most of the suites and third of the efficiency's in the hotel. We had booked an open bar and appetizers followed by a gourmet buffet meal, and a chocolate fountain and a beautiful wedding cake.

Ranger had presented me with pictures out of a bridal magazine of some wedding dresses he had ripped out. For once, I raised an eyebrow at him. "You are kidding me, right? You have been looking at bridal magazines."

"I didn't buy them. They were brought to me. I like these dresses for you. They are simple and elegant and will accentuate your growing breasts and your curvaceous ass. You and your friends can go to New York and shop and enjoy yourselves."

I smirked at him. "Who was the poor sucker you paid to buy them? Pretty soon you'll be calling me your cherubic bride with the enormous ass. These are pretty, actually. You have nice taste." One was a strapless grecian style gown that had beading on the bodice and fluttery chiffon cascades down the front and hugged the body in the back and one was a low cut silk number that was form fitting and then flared at the bottom. I ruled that one out because snug fitting silk was unforgiving and I was pregnant. The last, was a strapless sweetheart with wrap around beading and a very low back that accented the rear and flared at the bottom. Though it was gorgeous, I was leaning toward the grecian style because it looked elegant and comfortable and would hide my stomach if my pooch drastically increased before the wedding.

"Hal is my wedding planner and he'll be escorting you and your friends to New York. He has several sisters." I laughed out loud. Hal was a blushing combination of blonde headed marine and NFL linebacker, as big as Tank and as sweet as honey. I loved him.

"How much do we need to do yet?"

"Not much according to Hal. Tuxes and your dresses is about it."

"This is the kind of wedding I like. The kind where you just pick a dress and show up."

"Hal found these bands for us. He's been looking for platinum bands to match yours." He showed me a picture on his phone. They had a delicate pattern design with inlaid diamonds and would go well with my radiant cut diamond engagement ring.

"Those are beautiful, Ranger." I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He growled and kissed me back and then grabbed me and pitched me over his shoulder and headed to the bedroom with me squealing the whole way. "You are such a caveman."

Ranger had practically hog tied me kicking and screaming to meet his family. I was worried they would distrust me after what happened with his first marriage. I was ashamed that I put up such an anxious fuss afterwards because they were all mostly very friendly and happy for both of us. Thanks to one of the family gossips, Lester Santos, they already knew who I was and I had to laugh as Ranger's mother dragged him in by the ear for several reasons. He didn't keep in touch, didn't come for dinner, didn't bring his girl to meet them, and hadn't told them that we were expecting.

I whispered to him as he was rubbing his red ear, "You're a bad boy, Ranger." He gave me his wolf grin. "That's one of the things you love about me Babe." I grinned back at him. He's right there. After a wonderful Cuban dinner, we gave them all the information about the weekend wedding. I asked Ranger's mother, Lenora if she would like to go with us to New York dress shopping. I told her it was his treat and if anyone else in his family would like to come that they were welcome. He told his mother that he would fly his Abuela Rosa in to go as well. One of his sisters, Sofia expressed interest in going.

The next week, we had a caravan going to New York with Merry Men escorts. My friends and family, Mom, Grandma, Valerie, Mary Lou, Connie, Lula. Then Ranger's family, Lenora, Abuela Rosa, Sofia and his sister Lucia had come from Miami with his grandmother. The girls in the wedding found their rose colored dresses at the first store we went to, the mothers found theirs at the second and the grandmothers, sisters and myself found ours at the third.

Hal had made us reservations at the famous Garden restaurant at the Four Seasons Hotel for lunch. After our lunch, he led us to the Four Seasons Spa and surprised us. He had booked us for the works. We were their only customers for the rest of the afternoon. I was especially curious when I noticed my Grandma Mazur and Ranger's Abuela Rosa whispering and snickering. I thought Rosa only spoke Spanish. They had hooked up fast and even helped each other pick dresses. My Mom and Lenora had coordinated dresses together and chose colors of plum and lavender.

We were all as limp as noodles and exhausted when we got back to Trenton. One car had dropped off Ranger's family in Newark and one went to the Burg and one went back to Rangeman. Ranger met me at the door and pulled me to the bedroom and helped me to get ready for bed. He brought me some warm tea and my little bag of crackers. We had been having success against the morning sickness with the late night and early morning crackers and tea snack Ella had recommended. He rubbed my feet while I relaxed. "You're so good to me Ranger."

"You and Squirt are my top job now. Did you find a dress?"

"Yep. I love it. It's comfortable and will hide my pooch. Before you ask, it is low cut and accents my growing boobs just for you."

"Excellent. I like it already."

"For what you're spending, we could have had a top of the line 'Burg' wedding."

His brow furrowed. "Is that what you really wanted?" He looked a little concerned.

"Not a chance lover. Now come to Mamma and tuck me in for the night." I reached for him and he gave me a sexy grin and reached for the bedside lamp switch.

TBC-


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

A caravan of limousines and RangeMan vehicles headed to Cape May the night before the wedding was to take place. Family and friends were to check in and then meet for cocktails and dinner at the award-winning Hemingway's seafood and steak restaurant that was part of the Grand Hotel. On Friday nights they had a DJ and dancing. It was perfect for a pre-wedding get-together. Excellent food and a fun time.

Appetizers had just arrived and my plate set in front of me and the smell made my nose curl and my stomach tickle a little. It was sautéed clams drunken style sitting in a white wine sauce with lemon and garlic and old bay and basil. I took one bite and it went halfway down and stopped and I could feel my face turning green.

Ranger glanced at me and grabbed my hand and headed to the restaurant entrance as I was shaking my head with huge eyes trying to let him know that I wasn't going to make it. When he heard the retch, he grabbed a diner's salad bowl just as we were about to hit the hallway and stuck it up to my mouth.

He walked back and asked the same man for his napkin and his water and called the waiter over and told him to get the man whatever they wanted and put in on his bill. He apologized and explained what had happened and the couple was very nice about the situation.

Ranger took care of the bowl and dipped the napkin in the water and wiped my face and sent me to the restroom. He was waiting when I came out with a smile on his face. "If you laugh, I'll hurl in your lap next time. This is not funny."

"Babe, I do sympathize. What was it that set you off?"

"I don't know. All the smells at first, especially the seafood. The wine sauce and strong herbs maybe too."

"I think you should stick with the blander foods until you get over the illness. Salads, vegetable, rice, fruits, healthy cereals and snacks and lots of water."

"Ranger food? I'm already starting to spend more time in the bathroom without going on a granola and prune diet. Next you'll have me eating bark and twigs and bugs. You ever eat bugs?"

"Yes and no."

"Yes and no to which parts?

"Yes to the bugs and bark and no to the prunes and twigs."

"You'll eat bugs and bark, but not prunes. You're really weird. What kind of bugs?"

"Babe...?" He kissed my forehead and grabbed my hand and pulled me back to the table.

Lester said, "You looked a little green there, Beautiful. Wedding jitters? You still have time to ditch the stick in the mud and have some fun with me." A little hand reached over and slapped him on the back of the head. "Oww...Abuela. I worked hard on my hair and you hit it!" Bobby slapped his head from the other side and we all started laughing.

Bobby looked at me with concern, "Maybe eat some saltine crackers before you eat a big meal and avoid spicy and rich foods, sweetheart."

"Ranger already gave me the bug and bark lecture. I can't eat that crap."

Ranger snorted and Bobby raised an eyebrow and said, "The what lecture?"

"I did not tell her to eat bugs and bark. She just blew chow in a guy's salad bowl. I was trying to tell her the same thing you just did, but don't forget we're trying to translate this to Stephanie language."

"I don't like the way that sounded, Ranger! Did you just insult me to my face?" Bobby and Tank were waving at Ranger and giving him the WTF eyes and Lester was chuckling. Abuela Rosa was shaking her head and Grandma Mazur was smiling and further down the table Mary Lou spoke up, "Somebody better explain pregnancy hormones to that man and fast. Right, Lenny?" Lenny was frantically nodding.

As soon as that was said, the waiters arrived with all the dinner entrees. I closed my eyes and tried to quell the urge, but the smell of Ranger's seafood on one side of me and then Tank's rich veal and lobster dish on the other side were too much and I leaned over Ranger's lap and hurled round two.

Ranger rubbed my back and handed me a napkin and motioned to Hal to come over and told him to take care of the dinner and drink tab and to have his dinner sent up to the suite and he ordered a light summer salad for me with lettuce, nuts, fruit and a light soy vinaigrette dressing and plenty of crackers. Ranger told everyone to have a great time and we would see them the next morning for breakfast unless his bride to be needed more TLC. He swiped his pants off with another napkin and took my hand and we headed to our suite.

Ranger led me to the bathroom where we both changed into the hotel robes and I brushed my teeth and we lay down on the bed while I nursed a bottle of water. "I'm sorry, Ranger. I kind of messed up our night before the wedding dinner."

"You didn't mess it up. Everyone will have a great time tonight. You couldn't help being sick. I don't care where I'm at, as long as I'm with you."

"I know we talked about spending tonight in separate beds, but I don't want to. I want you to love me to sleep like you do every other night. Tomorrow night and the nights after will just mean more to us."

"Whatever you want. Let's find a movie to watch while we're waiting for our dinner to get here. Then, I will love you to sleep really good."

"Lucky me..."

I ate my crackers the next morning and then jumped in the shower and felt good so we met everyone back at Hemingway's for breakfast. The wedding was at 1500 hours Rangeman time and Hal gave me a brochure and told me to herd the women to the limos. It was for a local salon and spa. We got our nails and toes done and our hair.

I had chosen a floral and beaded headband. My hair was pulled back and up and the curls left cascading down the back. I wore simple diamond stud earrings and that was all. Grandma had given me one of Grandpa's handkerchiefs to tuck in my cleavage and I had a brooch for my dress from Abuela Rosa and a blue silk garter that my girls had given me and Ranger had kissed me and handed me a box before I got in the limo. It was a diamond tennis bracelet with the design that matched our wedding rings. So, I had all the wedding essentials.

I was sitting next to my Mom getting my toenails done and she spoke to me. "Stephanie, I want you to know that I'm very proud of you." I wanted to turn my head. She meant proud that I was knocked up and doing the right thing to save her embarrassment. "I mean, I see you are marrying the man you love. You stood your ground and you waited until you got what was right for you." I snapped my head to her. What? She just went back to reading her magazine and humming. That was as good as I would probably ever get from her, but it was huge.

I put my lace thong on and my dress, my garter and my bridal sandals at 1430 and at 1500, I was standing next to my Dad waiting to go through the glass doors to the ocean view deck to meet the man that was my soul mate and lover and the father of my baby.

Ranger and the guys looked hot. They were wearing Jean Yves black mandarin collar mirage tuxedos and Ranger's hair was down and blowing in the breeze and diamonds were in his ears. Lula was pointing at the guys and making 'hubba hubba' motions and yummy faces and googly eyes. Ranger looked over at her and then smiled at me. He reached his hand out for me before I got to him. My Dad put my hand in his as Ranger whispered, "You look perfect, Babe. Just how I dreamed you would look."

I got tears in my eyes his words were so sweet. There was no doubt about how I felt for this man and not until this very moment did I know absolutely and for sure that he was my life and my future and my someday.

The vows were simple. We placed the wedding bands on each others fingers and then I was Mrs. Manoso and I was finally able to kiss my man. We kissed until we heard a dozen throats cleared. A band played music as we had appetizers and champagne on the deck before dinner. I ate my saltine crackers and drank my tea and stayed away from the seafood and rich selections.

We had dinner in the ballroom and after we cut the cake. Ranger allowed me to draw an icing mouth on him and kiss it off and he dotted it on my chest and licked it off which got whistles and made me flush to my toes.

We were dancing and kissing when we heard a noise outside and the sound of a helicopter. We heard voices and a warning to clear the beach and the helicopter landed. Ranger whispered, "Oh fuck. No!" My heart sank. I knew what was about to happen. Ranger pulled me tighter to him and over his shoulder I saw the distressed looks of Tank and Bobby.

* * *

About five minutes later, two soldiers walked into the ballroom door. "Captain Manoso?" Ranger turned toward them. "Here."

"Sir, you have urgent orders. We need you to come with us immediately."

"This is my wedding day. I'm on contract, not enlisted. So, you're going to have to put me through to the General before I get on that chopper."

"I sympathize sir, but this is urgent."

"Sergeant, a private word." We stepped into an adjacent room which was empty.

"Sergeant, I have a brand new wife and a baby on the way. I need to know what kind of mission and my odds for survival before I get on the damn chopper. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't an already fucked up situation. The Goddamn military owes me enough time to say goodbye and settle my affairs for my family before I leave. Now go through fucking channels and get the General on the phone, NOW."

He came back about ten minutes later and handed me a phone. We spoke for several minutes and I handed the phone back to the soldier. I asked him to send Tank, Bobby and Lester in and gave him the descriptions of the men. They all stepped in the room a couple minutes later.

"My contract was up for renewal in August. I was hoping that I wouldn't get called, at least for this kind of mission. I'm not going to make it back this time. Tank, I need you to contact the RangeMan attorneys. I'm not going to be here to sign the papers, so you are going to be my witnesses. My share of RangeMan, cash, securities, bonds, property and liquid assets go to Stephanie. Then work with her to set up a trust fund for our child later.

I need you all to look after her and my unborn child and Julie. I have to leave immediately. Everyone can stay the weekend, if Stephanie doesn't want to then take her home. Bobby, she's going to need you and Ella to get her through this pregnancy. If you get word that I'm missing or deceased before the birth, wait to tell her. There won't be a body to bury and the funeral can wait. It's been an honor having you at my back all these years, my brothers."

I shook hands with my best friends and brothers and hugged them goodbye. They all promised to treat the baby as their own. Then I turned to go into the ballroom to say goodbye to my family and to my beautiful wife.

TBC-

Still on the movie kick. What famous movie did this line come from? "I worked hard on my hair and you hit it!"

Don't be mad at me. I've stretched this story out several chaps for you. There will be more drama, tears and funny and a little side adventure for Steph.


	14. Chapter 14

I won't torture you guys too bad. I'll keep the chaps coming fast.

Most of the time after Ranger leaves is from Bobby's POV. He is now Stephanie's primary caretaker.

**Chapter 14**

When I walked into the room Stephanie looked at me and then to my men and back at me and a tear ran down one side of her beautiful face. Memories of this woman over the last four years began flashing through my mind ending with her looking at me across the room right now with so much love and concern in her eyes and wearing that beautiful dress.

I went to my mother and grandmother first and hugged them. Mothers just have a type of ESP sometimes when it comes to children. She began to cry softly when I moved away from her. I went to Stephanie's father and shook his hand. "I'm sorry, sir. Your daughter and grandchild will be well taken care of. My men and family will see to it." He nodded and patted me on the shoulder. Mrs. Plum's mouth was open and I heard her whisper to her husband, "What in the world is going on here?" He told her that he would explain it to her later.

I then turned to Stephanie. More tears were rolling down her face. I pulled out a chair next to her and asked her to sit and she moved on unsure legs and sat when I took her hand. She was shivering and I took off my coat and wrapped it around her, then I took off her shoe and caressed her foot and kissed it and reached under her dress and took off her garter. Her head was down and she was sobbing now. I pulled the garter up my sleeve and kneeled closer to her and took her face in my hands. "I love you, wife. Take care of yourself and squirt. This was the happiest day of my life."

I kissed her face and teary eyes and took her mouth like a dying man would take his lover's mouth. She looked in my eyes. "How long? Maybe you can...Before the baby...?" I smiled at her and squeezed her hand. She choked on a sob, "Ranger...You're not...Oh God no...Please no. Don't leave me. Don't go."

"I have to go. I have orders and these men can take me by force." He softened. "I'm glad we loved each other to sleep last night."

"Me too. Can you promise me to try your best to get back to us...Please come back."

"Babe, I will die trying to get back to you both. You hold on to this for me."

I opened her hand and placed my wedding ring and diamonds there. She grabbed me and hugged me to her. "I have to go now." I tucked a curl behind her ear and nodded to the Sergeant and stood up and turned away and walked out the door to the waiting chopper on the beach.

* * *

I watched the chopper lift off and looked over at Stephanie. She was looking at the floor and one of her little hands was fisted tight around something. Friends and family were just staring at her not sure what to say or do.

I walked over to her and kneeled down beside her. "Stephanie, what do you want to do? Would you like for me to take you to your room?" She nodded. I helped her up to walk from the room and her mother ran over and stopped in front of us. "Stephanie Michelle, what on earth kind of man leaves his wife at his wedding reception. This is in bad taste and unacceptable. Joseph would have never done such a thing. When word gets out about this..." Then she tsked and cocked her snooty nose up in the air.

I watched as Stephanie slowly raised her head and her hand at the same time and slapped her mother across the face so hard that it rang across the ballroom. Stephanie spat at her mother, "My good husband is the kind of man that just left to give up his life for his country and the people that he loves." Her mother's mouth was open in shock and she was holding her red cheek. Stephanie took two shaking steps around her and collapsed.

I caught her and held her to me like the bride she was as my heart broke for her and my brother. Lester and Tank followed me. "Tank, get us keys for the suite and Lester, you need to explain this to any of the family and friends that still don't understand exactly what went down here.

Stephanie will probably want to go home. They can stay the rest of the weekend if they want to. The rooms are paid for." He nodded and Tank headed to the desk.

Tank caught up and let us in the suite. I asked him to get my medical bag and travel bag and bring them to me and carried her to the master bedroom and sat her on the bed.

I grabbed the hotel robe laying over a chair and held it up in front of me. "Steph, can you get out of your dress yourself?" She nodded and stood up and the dress fell to the floor and I helped her into the robe and tied it around her. Then I pulled the covers back on the bed and tucked her in. I started to walk away and she said softly, "Don't leave me, Bobby."

"I'm not leaving, sweetheart. I'm staying here for the night and if you want to go home in the morning, we'll go. I'll be back shortly to sit with you. Tank is bringing my bag and I want to check your vitals and then you can sleep."

Ranger's mother, Lenora, stepped into the suite with Tank when he returned. She still had tears in her eyes. "I want to be here for Estefania. She loves my Carlos and if he makes it back home, it will be because of her and my unborn grandson."

"Grandson?"

"Abuela Rosa says that it's a boy and she is never wrong." I smiled at her. "She's in the bedroom, I'm just going to check her vitals and let her rest. I think she's in shock. Can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm going to order us both some tea and crackers. What would you like, Bobby?"

"Just some coffee, please, Mama." She nodded and went to the phone.

No one had wanted to stay over the weekend. The friends and family stayed in the ballroom for a while and then dispersed the night before. Tank had a private meeting with the hotel manager and told him that the entire group would be leaving two days early and the reason why. Where normally there would be no refund for prepaid rooms in the number and amount that they had paid, the manager was sure the owners would agree that at least a one night refund would be fair. Tank told him that the family was grateful and that his man Hal would be by to settle the final bill after the group had breakfast.

Stephanie had spoken few words and the only thing that she had eaten were the crackers. Mama and I both had slept in the suite and we ordered breakfast the next morning and we tried, but could not tempt her with one morsel. I told Mama that I was worried now that this was going to be an issue throughout the rest of the pregnancy, because Stephanie was always hungry and she could eat as much in a sitting as any RangeMan. This made Mama smile.

"Bobby querido, I want to come and stay a few days a week with Estefania. You will be busy with Carlos gone and Ella can't take care of her full time and you boys all alone."

"I can double up a couple of the new boys and make an apartment available for you. I think Steph and Ella would like you being there."

"Her own mother should want to do this for her. I was appalled at her inconsiderate behavior yesterday. Is she always that shallow?"

"Always. She's never treated Steph very well because she doesn't live the way and do the things that she thinks are proper and acceptable to her own beliefs. She's never really approved of Carlos or us. After Steph woke up from the head injury in the hospital, they wouldn't let her come home to live with them after they gave up her apartment. Her doctor called us to ask for help for her. We brought her home with us. There is nothing that every man at RangeMan wouldn't do for her. We all adore her." I smiled thinking about her antics at work.

"Yes. Every time Lester comes to dinner, he talks about Stephanie. I thought he was the one that was in love with her for so long."

I laughed. "Those two are actually like siblings and partners in crime. They like to drive Carlos crazy." She laughed at that.

"It makes me feel so ashamed now that I didn't always support Carlos's choices. He became such a good man, a successful man and a hero. I never told him how proud I am." I squeezed her hand. "He knows you love him, Mama."

It only took five days before myself, Ella and Mama had to sit Stephanie down for a serious talk. She wouldn't eat, take her vitamins and every time the women tried to get her to open her wedding presents she refused. She said that they would be opened when Ranger got home.

"Stephanie, it would hurt Ranger to know that you're not taking care of yourself and your son. Your son is a part of him that you'll always get to keep and love. You have to start eating and taking your vitamins and exercising. I'm going to create a program just for you and you are going to be in the gym every morning or I'll be here to haul your butt out of bed. You're going to be supervised in every thing you do until you get your head on straight."

"What? Are you going to follow me to the bathroom every time I go? How do you know it's a boy?"

"Abuela Rosa says it's a boy. I am going to be checking your urine for ketosis levels and infection and pricking your finger to check blood sugar. Get used to it."

"Jeez, Bobby. Why don't you just add stirrups to your torture table downstairs and you can check my _coochy_ too." The corners of my mouth were twitching, Ella snorted while trying to stifle a laugh and Mama raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Is there a problem with your '_coochy_'?" She grimaced. "NO!"

"Then I don't need to check it. However, Don't try me. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, Dr. _Pecker_. I get you." Ella put her hand over her mouth snickering and I grinned at her. Mama had still not caught on to what a real 'pill' our Stephanie Plum Manoso was.

That talk changed things for a while. She ate, took her vitamins and did her exercises and Tank kept her busy with new Rangeman tasks. He was slowly teaching her the business without telling her he was doing it. The busywork seemed to be good for her and Tank was amazed that she was really good at it. For two years of college, she was professional and her instincts had always been outstanding.

Tank pushed her to talk to clients with little excuses and they loved her. Without even knowing it, she had become a powerful asset and leader. She was dedicated, she cared, was compassionate, smart and she had a special light about her that was all her own. The men and even the clients would follow the woman anywhere. However, that was when she was good. When she was bad, we all wanted to run from her. It wouldn't be long till we got bitch slapped with bad Stephanie.

Three months was her breaking point. Her appetite gradually declined and she began to deteriorate. We did the talk again and even that did not bring her back around. Ella and Mama planned the baby shower early to try to lift her spirits and focus her on the baby. A doctor visit and ultrasound had confirmed that Grandma Rosa had been right. The baby was a boy.

The shower was awkward. There were lots of gag gifts and some cute ones. The baby got some macho boys wear like some camo and a leather motorcycle jacket and Ella had made him a Rangeman t-shirt and cargo set. One baby onesie outfit said 'I'm a boob man' and she got some funny bibs with one saying 'Please wait, diaper loading' and another that said 'These Fools Put My Cape on Backwards' and then there was the pacifier that said, mute button. She was given a breast pump and bras with nipple holes. She barely laughed when she opened all of those. I liked the camo harness that she could walk around with hands free. Stephanie's fake smile through the entire afternoon had been painful. I'm not sure that many noticed that she said only one handful of words the whole afternoon.

Even supervising her meals and exercises she was getting one over us. She was perfect at distraction, discord, dissent, dislike, distrust and denial. Any negative 'D' word you could think of was part of her repertoire. The problem was that she was not gaining weight and there were signs of depression showing. She slept too much, she didn't care about her appearance or even hygiene. When Hector came to me complaining about the "olor del cubo (cube smell)" and told me he had not smelled that since he spent a week undercover on the street, I had to reluctantly go check it out and he was right and it was bad.

I had called Ella to change her bed linens and check her clothes and disinfect the rooms. I followed her up to the apartment at the end of the day and before the door closed behind her, I grabbed her and threw her over my shoulder and headed to the bathroom. I threw her in clothes and all and turned the shower on her.

She sputtered and growled, "What the fuck, Dr. Pecker?"

I mocked, "You stink, Babe! Don't come out until you've re-acquainted yourself with soap and shampoo." Before I turned, a soaked RangeMan shirt hit me in the chest and then the rest came at me ending with the soaked RangeMan undies across my face. It would have turned me on had the whole ensemble not been a few days old and the sexy siren who'd relinquished them not been cursing and spewing words that even turned my chocolate hued ears fire red.

I tried to shame her, "Stephanie, if I can hear you, your son can hear you."

"Hear this..you..beep..beep..beeeep. Sit on this you..beep..and spin and then you can..beep beep beep..and while you're at it..beep beep..and..beep..beep..beeeep..up your other..beep. You know what..beeper? Just go..beep..in your..beeping..hat and pull it down over your..beeping..ears!

Turns out shame is not part of her 'D' word repertoire.

TBC-


	15. Chapter 15

I know some of you are nervous. I'm a whiplash writer. I like drama and adventure. Sorry, I do extract a tear or two now and then. The rest of this story is really pretty fun. If I promise HEA, I deliver. Trust me! Enjoy the rest...

**Chapter 15**

We still had over two months to go. Every day that Stephanie waddled onto the control room floor, the men disappeared to secure their jock straps. She made Ranger's worst moods look like nothing. These days, there was no man that had balls big enough to point out her bad mouth, bad behavior or bad habits to her face. Not even Lester and not even Hector.

One day I went to find Hector in his cubicle and he had on ear plugs from the gun range and a gas mask from the armory. I pulled an earplug out and asked, "Que diablos (what the hell)?" He rolled his eyes and said, "Que te parece (who do you think)?" Nuff' said. Who indeed.

She had smashed about five keyboards, six mice, a monitor and there was still a letter opener embedded in the wall opposite her cubicle. It was a steer clear reminder to all the men working in the cube farm.

The day after she trashed her monitor, she borrowed Lester's office and computer. Hal and Lester were headed to the office that afternoon and stopped dead before the door. Lester had said, "Jesus! It smells like something died near here." He said Hal had gagged. Hal describes taking two more steps toward the door and hearing a familiar ring tone. It was the burrito and beer hangover ring. They had peeped in the door and Stephanie had just swigged a big drink of soda and with the other hand was fanning behind herself.

Stephanie had said, "Wassup' guys?" Then she had ended with the two litre soda belch. Lester said when Hal saw that it had not been the disgusting ring tone that he blushed beet red and ran from the room. Lester had said, "Beautiful, you're forcing me to change my nickname for you. I used to fantasize about pregnant women with round bellies and full breasts and having lots of happy doggie sex, but not anymore. Nope. Now, I'll never get another hard-on for a pregnant woman and I might even have a problem doing doggie again, because of the fear. I liked the fantasy without the smell-o-vision and the sound effects. Thanks a bunch!"

Her retort was a sarcastic, "Boohoo." Then she leaned over and let another one rip. Lester had told her to take his expensive leather chair with her when she left. He was done with it.

Luis had to place an industrial strength fan in the office for half a day to move the last of Stephanie out the door.

I was worried about her. She had not mentioned Ranger once to a single person at Rangeman. She wasn't talking to her friends or family either. Grandma Mazur had come a couple times to bring her favorite foods and some pineapple upside-down cake and she had enjoyed the visit, but had never touched the food. Ella had found one cake shredded in the garbage can and tiny pieces of it still all over the kitchen. She had obviously ripped it up in anger and I didn't have to guess that it had to do with her mother.

I was torn. I didn't know whether to go ahead and send her into psychotherapy or to wait until we got word on Ranger. Tank had pulled strings and called everyone he knew in important places in the military trying to find out anything about the mission.

The only thing that he was told in secret by one Ranger friend who was now a handler in Washington was that the military was currently at level Defcon 4 and that if any mission having to do with this Defcon failed then they would be moving directly to Defcon 2. There wouldn't be any checkpoints and it would have a 0% survival predictability for any and all individuals having to do with the mission. There would be no extraction and officially the mission didn't exist.

Lester and I were speechless for several minutes. Tank said, "This is about nukes, man."

I asked, "What hostile countries have that much nuke power to put us at Defcon 2?"

Lester spoke up first, "Those would be China, Pakistan or North Korea most likely."

Tank said, "The two dumb enough to pull the trigger right now would be Pakistan or North Korea. That's where Ranger is and he's there to destroy the nukes. That's why they're giving the mission a zero survival."

I spoke up, "I think that given this new information that we should go ahead and get Stephanie into therapy. Given the accident and amnesia and memory problems and now the hormones, she would benefit right now."

Tank said, "Do it. I'm not giving up on Ranger until I have to. We'll still need to be thinking about the future of the company. We can discuss and sit it on the back burner until we get a final report on Ranger and Bomber has the baby. I would like her to be well enough to consider a core position."

"Then we get her in therapy now", I said.

Lester said, "And it will be kicking and screaming..." We all looked at each other.

Two days later, I told Steph that she had an appointment in the apartment at 1100 hours and to arrive on time. She didn't even care enough to ask me for details. When she arrived ten minutes late, the therapist and I were waiting.

She plopped down on the sofa and looked from me to the doctor. "Steph, this is Ross Sinclair. He's a psychotherapist and ex-military. He works with many patients with post traumatic stress. He's good and he understands and has empathy for the people and soldiers he works with because he's been there. I asked him here because I think that he might be able to help with the stress of the pregnancy and Ranger being gone on the mission."

"Dr. Pecker, I'm not crazy, I'm pregnant."

"Nobody said you were crazy. We're talking about stress here. At least get to know the man, you might like him. He's helped me before."

"Even if I say no, you're going to make me do it. Just like you make me do everything else."

"You make it sound like we're punishing you. We're a family here and an extension of Ranger and we love you Stephanie. We love this baby and he's not even here yet. We'll all have to go on no matter what. Sometimes you just act nasty and selfish. We're trying to give you the tools to cope. We are all wrung out right now and walking on eggshells because of you and I can hardly fucking take it anymore! I miss him too. Please help us to help you, Dammit!"

I was so frustrated and hurt that I got up and stomped out the door. I didn't realize until that moment that I was already grieving too.

* * *

Dr. Sinclair and I were just left there staring at each other. He sat there looking at me like he was waiting for me to say something. Well, I had nothing except that Bob might need a little session of his own. His speech had been telling. I was nasty and selfish and everyone is walking on eggshells and uncomfortable and they can't take me anymore. Wow...

After a half hour, I rolled my eyes at Sinclair and got up and went to the bedroom and shut the door and locked it. Then, I got a bag out of the dressing room and began packing. The last thing I grabbed was Ranger's wedding ring and put it on a chain and around my neck. Since I had gotten my memory back, I had been insecure enough to squirrel away some cash for a rainy day and today was it. I still had my checkbook and old bank account and enough money to live on my own for quite a while.

I didn't want to be anyone's responsibility or burden because Ranger was gone. Maybe deep down they always resented me a little because I seemed to cause them lots of problems. I was going to have to learn to cope and be on my own. I came up with a plan and called down to the control room. "Hi Zip, can one of you guys find me a box. I'm loading up stuff I don't need for the Goodwill." I lied and crossed my fingers.

Zip came up with a nice sized box and I told him to wait a minute and crammed my bag in and as much other stuff that I could. "Hey Zip, can you carry this out to my car now?"

He came in the bedroom. "Sure, Steph." I grabbed my bag and followed him. He put the box in the car and I hopped in and and drove to a Jiffy Lube on the other side of town. I had them to change the oil and I examined the bottom of the car while it was on the rack. Bingo! Found the tracker. Right before they let the car down I asked them to pull the device off and destroy it about a half hour after I left. I told them it had something to do with the car lot I bought it from and the mortgage company. They just said, "Fuckers!" And, they promised to destroy it.

When I pulled out, I pitched suspect items in my bag and then my cell phone and stopped at a strip mall to pick myself up another one. I picked up a Trenton paper and an apartment guide and drove across the bridge to the Pennsylvania side of the river and stopped at a diner and looked through the ads. One ad was different. It was for an apartment on a local farm and it was cheap. That would be nice for a short stay. I called the number and asked if it was still available. The woman said that it was and gave me directions.

The farm was not far from the diner. Maybe about ten miles. I saw a cornfield and some cows and then the mailbox with the name on it. The house was an old Dutch style home and there was a small and a larger barn out behind the house. The drive went all the way back to the barns and then there was a D shaped extension in front of the house. There were flowers inside the D and birdhouses and feeders. The front door opened and an older lady about my mother's age stepped out.

I walked up to her and introduced myself. I saw her take in my belly, but she didn't say anything. "I'm Maggie and my husband Vernon is out at the barn. You want to look at the apartment? It's not much. I keep it clean and it's furnished. It's been empty for about a month. How long will you need a place to stay?"

"I don't know. As you can see, I'm going to have a baby soon. I want to have him and then have a couple months to adjust before I make any decisions. So, maybe four or five months."

"Do you have friends or family to help you, dear?"

"I'm on my own right now. My husband is away on a military mission. I can take care of myself. I wouldn't be a problem or a burden for you."

"Well, I didn't think that at all. I guess it did sound like a nosy question. Just wondering if you had any support is all. A young woman with her man away needs support. People to care about her. Come along and we'll take a look at the apartment. It's on the top floor of the smaller barn. We just keep supplies in that barn and there is an outside entrance. No animals or smells to worry about. Farmhands have used it in the past."

We climbed a long set of stairs and I was grateful for my daily exercise routine by the time we got to the top. Maggie unlocked the door and we stepped in and I was pleasantly surprised that it was very homey and comfortable. There was a sofa and a recliner and a bookshelf and tables. There was a small efficiency kitchen, a small bathroom and a small bedroom with a double bed, table and lamp and armoires. The whole apartment was immaculately clean.

"Maggie, this is perfect. Looks like all I would need is a TV. Is there cable hookup through the barn?"

"Oh yes. There is even some dishes and pans in the kitchen. The only thing you may not like is that the air comes from window units. There is one in the bedroom and one here off the kitchen. They keep the apartment comfortable."

"No problem for me. Can I move in today? I can pay you a couple months rent and security fee. Whatever you require."

"How about two months and we have a deal."

"Great." Then we shook on it. I paid her and she gave me a key and I told her that I was going out to the grocery and to buy a TV and I asked her if she needed anything from the grocery. "Well, that's sweet, dear. As a matter of fact I do. I'm making pies and I'm low on sugar. You bring me a bag of sugar and a bag of flour and you're invited to dinner."

"Deal. I love desserts. I'll be back soon."

I met Vernon that night and he was as nice as Maggie. She had made a chicken casserole and apple and blackberry pies. It was all delicious. I had not enjoyed a meal like this in a very long time. They were both snickering at my over obvious enjoyment. She prepared me a doggie bag to take to the apartment and Vernon asked if I needed help with anything. "Not really. I have just one big box in the car. I can dig out the stuff I need." He shook his head. "I may not look like much, but I can carry one box. See my muscle?" He raised one arm up to show me. Maggie smacked his arm.

"Oh..Vernon. I didn't mean..I'm sorry." He laughed. "Relax. I'm just yankin' your ponytail. I got your box. Maggie said you bought a TV."

"Yes. It's going to be delivered tomorrow. No problem." He grabbed my box out of the car and followed me up the stairs. and deposited it on the floor.

"Welcome to farm living. Good night, Ms. Stephanie."

"Thanks Vernon. Tell Maggie the meal was wonderful." He nodded and turned and left the apartment.

* * *

Ella called me at 1700 hours and told me that Stephanie wasn't in the apartment. I checked the garage and her car was gone. I asked the guys on the monitors to pull up the tracker on her car.

There was a very faint signal a few miles away. Zero said that Zip had carried a box to her car right after lunchtime. I swallowed and ran to the garage. The location was a Jiffy Lube and it was closed. Out back I found the tracker. It was laying half smashed next to a garbage can. Shit! I dialed Sinclair. "Ross Sinclair."

"This is Bobby Brown. What happened during the session?"

"You know that's confidential, Bobby."

"Fuck you! Stephanie is gone. You tell me what took place after I left!" There was silence for a minute.

"Nothing."

"What do you mean nothing?"

"We didn't talk. I generally like to wait for the patient to reach out to me first. It breaks the ice and allows for a flow of communication after that point."

"Oh for fuck's sake, do you approach all your patients the same way? You haven't met a Stephanie Plum before! She just flipped us all off. She's gone, and she's seven months pregnant and we promised Ranger that we would take care of her. By the way Ross, here is some confidential information for you. Ranger is on a mission with an absolute fucking zero percent chance of him surviving and he was taken from her forcibly on their wedding day. You really sat there and waited for her to say something to you first for how FUCKING LONG?!" I slammed the phone shut.

TBC-


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I sat there a couple minutes and went over the conversation in my head that afternoon. Dammit, Brown! I groaned and headed back to Rangeman and called Tank and Lester on the way.

Tank bellowed, "What do you mean she's gone? Track her and get her back here now!"

"Come on, Tank! She destroyed her tracker and she doesn't want to be found."

"Why did she leave here? This is her home."

"It was mostly my fault and partly Sinclair's fault."

Lester said, "Oh fuck, man. I knew that was going to be a big 'no go'. What did you say to her?"

"I..was frustrated. I didn't think about how she might interpret my words. When I take the worst pieces of what I said, it comes out like this. She's being nasty and selfish and every one is walking on eggshells and uncomfortable and I couldn't take it anymore."

"Shit!"

"Aww..fuck!"

Just then the door swung open and a pissed-off little Cuban woman stood there with her hands on her hips. She was cursing in Spanish and she stomped in and slapped all three of us on the back of our heads. Then, Abuela Rosa walked out and Mama walked in. Oh shit...

"I pick up my son's Abuela at the airport so she can be here for my grandson's birth and imagine our surprise when we arrive and find that Estefania is not here and no one knows where she is. Someone better give me an explanation right now!"

I said, "Mama, we were trying to help her and then I got frustrated with her and said some things that I hoped would make her do the opposite of what she did. Stephanie never does what you'd expect a normal person to do."

"If she was normal then my son would not have chosen her as his mate!"

Tank said, "Well, that's the damn truth and there is only one Stephanie Plum. Bobby meant well. She's had us all tied up in knots, the men on the floor are scared of her and all we wanted her to do was talk to our therapist. We'll find her, Mama."

"Lo gue un mont on de cono (what a bunch of pussies)! You better find her!" Then she turned and stomped out. We all looked at each other and then Lester barked with laughter. "Guess we deserved that one."

* * *

I woke up hearing a knock on the door. It took me a couple seconds to remember where I was. I pulled my robe on and yelled out, "Who is it?"

"It's just Maggie, dear. I brought you some breakfast."

"I opened the door and Maggie was standing there with a basket."

"You didn't have to do this, Maggie. I'm not a house guest. Come in."

"No trouble. I was going to ask if you'd like to take your meals with us. We like the company."

"That's too much. If I do, it's on one condition."

"What's that?"

"I buy the groceries and paper goods."

"Okay, it's a deal. You got some orange juice and milk and butter or margarine? I have everything but that here."

"I do." She pulled an omelet and biscuits and jam out of her basket and set it on my tiny dinette table. "This looks and smells wonderful, Maggie. Did you make the biscuits and the jam?

"I did. I was thinking if you get bored, there is plenty to do this time of year that wouldn't be too hard for you."

"I don't mind helping. I think I would like doing stuff around here. I'm a city girl though, mostly I blow up cars and I would be really upset if I blew up one of your cows."

"Good lord, dear! What in the world is your job in the city?"

"I was a bounty hunter. For a long time now I've just worked in the office at my husband's security company."

"A bounty hunter? You mean like that 'Dog' character on TV? He's got a couple big boys and one big girl helping him. You're just a slip of a girl. You did that all by yourself?"

"Well, sometimes my friend Lula helped me. We mostly ended up really dirty or sore before we got our skip. Then my husband helped me sometimes. He never gets dirty. They mostly just hop in the truck for him. I did get him shot one time. He was kind of my mentor/trainer in the business."

"My Goodness. No wonder you left the city to have your baby. If you don't mind me asking, you know I have a nosy problem. If he owns a business, why did he enlist? Is that why he's on a military mission?"

"He's a retired Ranger Captain. He has a contract with the military and he's on a classified military mission." Then for the first time since the day he left on that helicopter, I just burst open and broke down crying.

"Oh dear. I went and did it now." She grabbed a napkin and went to drying my tears.

"No, Maggie, it's not your fault. It's been months and I haven't cried or talked about it. They came and got him right there at the hotel where we were having our wedding reception. He's not going to survive this mission. He knew it when he left. Every day, I've waited for the men with the letter to arrive. I was angry and hurt and I was making everyone around me uncomfortable. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to leave."

"They came to get him him at your wedding reception? I've never heard of such a thing."

"Maggie, all his missions are secret. He's one of the few good guys that cleans up our world and keeps it safe for us and nobody ever knows who he is or what he does for them. He never gets recognition and never expects it. He's a real superhero. My superhero." Then I sobbed some more.

She sat shocked for a minute and then she spoke. "Well, in that case, if he's keeping the world safe for us then me and Vernon have an obligation here to take care of his wife and baby while he's gone. Don't you give up hope, now. That man has a lot to live for and look forward to when he gets home."

I hiccupped. "That's sweet, Maggie. I don't want to burden anyone else."

"Oh...Phhht. You eat up and dress and come to the house. I'm canning and you can sit and help me clean and slice vegetables. We'll watch TV shows like Jerry Springer while we're working and then you'll feel a whole lot better about your life." That made me giggle. "Okay. I'll be over soon."

We did watch several daytime reality and court shows and one of Maggie's soaps while we worked. She fixed us a fast lunch of chicken salad sandwiches and chips with sweet tea and I took Vernon's to the barn in a basket where he was working hard. He showed me around the barn before I went back to the house and told me if I wanted some busywork that I could come throw some feed to the chickens and roosters in the mornings and collect some eggs for Maggie. I told him that I would love to.

That night at dinner while eating and talking to both of these good people, I was thinking that in one day I felt better here on this farm than it would have taken me weeks in therapy with that shrink guy that just stared at me. I felt a little guilty about leaving the guys, especially Bobby the way I did. I decided that I would call him tomorrow.

The next morning, Vernon loaded me up with a bucket of chicken feed and showed me how to throw the feed out. All those birds came running, we went in the pen when they calmed a little and went to the coops. While they were eating, we picked up the eggs and placed them in a basket.

On the way out a particularly frisky rooster chased me and tried to peck at me. I squealed and Vernon grabbed my basket before I dropped it. He laughed. "That's Randy, he got that name for more than one reason. You have to keep an eye on him. I just give him a swat sometimes and he goes about his business. He thinks I'm after his girls." That made me chuckle.

Maggie was running around the kitchen and loading baskets and boxes and buckets and was all excited. "What's up, Maggie?"

"We're going to the Farmer's Market this morning. We have lots of good stuff to trade. My friend June has been waiting on my apple butter and some of these canned goods and we can take some of our corn and these fresh eggs. June's husband grows the best melons around and her relishes and chow chows and salsas are the best. It's a fun time. You have a bonnet?"

"Nope. Can't say I've seen any girls wearing bonnets in Trenton." She snatched one out of a closet and handed it to me and off we went to the market.

Wow. This market was more like a flea market. They had homemade everything that you could think of. I bought some homemade candles with real fruit in them and a maxi sundress and another shorter one and I bought a beautiful quilt and some pillows to go with it. I bought my own bonnet and a couple baskets, and a pretty decorative wreath that matched my quilt for my room.

We had to make several trips to the car before we left. It was fun, but I was exhausted by the time we got back. Maggie said, "Vernon and I will bring up the rest of your purchases later. You take a nap before supper." I grabbed my candles, "I can't argue with you, Mags. Farm Market shopping is exhausting." She chuckled and gave me a rub on the back.

Before I laid down, I called Bobby. "Stephanie, we have been worried sick about you. Mama is pissed at us, and Abuela Rosa has been smacking the shit out of all of us and Ella is upset and taking it out on the men. She fed us a Mexican lava casserole and prune spice cake last night and there are not enough bathrooms right now in this whole damn building to handle the onslaught!" The thought of just Ella's wrath sent me into giggles.

"What the hell? You think this is funny? I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I was just worried and frustrated."

"I know. I figured it out and you don't need to worry about me. I'm safe and I feel much better right now."

"Where the hell are you?"

"I'm on a farm in Pennsylvania. In just a couple days here I've felt better than in months. I'm staying in a little apartment and the couple here are so nice and they're taking good care of me. Maggie even got me to talk about Ranger the first morning and I had a good cry and I'm eating well. She beats the hell out of your army shrink, Bobs."

He was silent for a minute. "Bobby?"

"I'm just damn speechless. I've been so worried and felt so guilty. Can we at least come and meet them and bring Ella and Mama and Rosa to see you?"

"Sure. You can bring Tank and Les. Come for lunch. I'll tell Maggie and Vernon tonight." I gave him the directions and I could hear his sigh of relief before we hung up.

That night at dinner I told Mags and Vern about calling home and they seemed actually happy about it. Maggie was really excited about having company.

"Maggie, you should probably be upset. I kind of volunteered you to cook for an army, literally."

She gave me a warm smile, but it was Vernon who spoke, "We only had one boy. He was a fine boy. He was about to graduate high school when 9/11 happened and some of his friends were affected and going to enlist. We thought it would be like the Gulf War in 1990. A slap and a withdrawal after they found this guy Osama Bin Laden. He was smart and might learn some skills and get a college education. He enlisted after his high school graduation with his friends. He was part of the second wave in the war in Iraq. His team was restoring the needs of the local people when he was killed."

I was stunned for a minute and sincerely felt such sorrow for them. "I am so very sorry for your loss, Vernon." He shrugged like what could anyone have done.

Maggie spoke up. "I don't think it's a coincidence that you showed up on our doorstep, dear."

"What was your son's name?"

Vernon said with pride and tears in his eyes, "Richard. We called him Rich."

I smiled at them. "My husband's first name is Ricardo. I think that's way more than coincidence."

Sheesh. That next morning when I walked into the kitchen after fending off Randy and getting away with the eggs, Maggie was in a whirlwind of activity. "Mags, this is not just for the lunch is it?" She just grinned at me.

"Put the eggs in the fridge and then peel those peaches for me." Vernon came in the back door with a metal pan with three plump and plucked chicken carcasses in it and I stepped back a couple paces. "Holy shit, Vernon! Did those chickens have names too?"

"No, but they had full bellies thanks to you." My eyes got huge and Maggie smacked him hard with a spatula. "Mind yourself, Vernon. Stephanie is not used to farm life."

"Well, I was a little taken by surprise. I'm not squeamish though. I've seen some pretty gross stuff. If you can hold your chow after tackling a naked geriatric covered in Vaseline or having a dead beaver explode all over you or seeing a man sized Easter bunny looking like roadkill, you have a pretty strong stomach. Just the morning sickness and mostly seafood smells got to me." Both were looking at me with open mouths and then Maggie burst out laughing. "We've got to hear some more of these stories from you. I told Vernon you were worried about blowing up his heifers and he said I was crazy." She just kept chuckling.

Right before noon, I was sitting on the front porch when a caravan of Rangeman SUV's arrived. Vernon and Maggie heard the arrivals and walked out the front door. Vernon said, "Shit fire! Looks like a military invasion. You sure they just came for lunch? Maybe I _should_ go herd my heifers." Maggie smacked him with her spatula again.

"Mind yourself, Vernon."

TBC-


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

Bobby was the first to jump out and ran and grabbed me and swung me around and kissed me on the cheek. He whispered in my ear, "You're gonna' get payback you little shit." I gave him an evil grin. "You dare to challenge the Queen. I accept."

Tank said, "So introduce us to your new friends. How is it that you always leap into crazy shit and land on your feet, Bomber? It's one of the damn wonders of the freakin' world."

"I may land on my feet, but I'm rarely clean. I usually need a hosing afterwards." I elbowed him and then grabbed his hand and led him up the porch steps.

Except for the three latina women, Vernon seemed to be confused. He kept staring at Tank like he was an alien. "He walked over to me, "You sure this is not a group from the WWE because they are huge and all look the same. I don't think three hens was near enough to cover it. Will they attack if they don't all get a breast?" I laughed at him.

"They_ LOVE_ breasts, but they're really sweet guys and harmless unless threatened. The guys are ex-military. These are just the leaders. There are a bunch more like them that work for my husband." He grimaced and nodded.

Tank and Bobby were always polite and Bobby was loaded with southern charm and Maggie was taken right away with both of them. Lester was on the quieter side under the circumstances and just observing. Ella and Mama asked Maggie what they could do to help and went right to work while Rosa sat with me just holding and patting my hand.

Dinner went well. Every piece of chicken and every bowl was emptied and Maggie's peach cobbler was the biggest hit. The women talked around the table while the men walked around the farm.

When the guys finally got back, I walked up to them. "Do you guys approve? I really need this. I feel relaxed here."

They all grinned. Tank said, "These are good folks, Bomber. I think you're safe."

"Did you meet my friend Randy? He's the farm version of Santos. The chick magnet and coop boss and if he doesn't stop chasing me and pecking me, he'll be the next one on the dinner table." They all chuckled.

Lester smirked, "I beg your pardon. I don't boss and I don't peck. I am a chick magnet and I do chase tail, though." He waggled his eyebrows at me and the guys rolled their eyes. "Vernon has almost more than he can handle. We're coming to help them finish getting the corn crops and hay in and get his animals to market."

"Really? Guys that's a lot and you're so busy already."

Bobby said, "I see how peaceful you look in just a couple of days. I'm hoping that some of that rubs off on me." All the guys nodded.

"Duh...Take a corn cob with you and tell Dr. Smarty pants it's from me and to put it up his hole and_ feel the farm_. Tell him it's a new kind of therapy. His stare therapy is expensive and it sucks and mine is free. Hell, we're loaded with corn cobs. Jeez, what a schlub." Lester hooted and Bobby started to open his mouth and say something and then just shut it and laughed too. Tank just shook his head. "Bomber...?"

When we got back in the kitchen, Ella and Maggie were exchanging recipes and Mama and Rosa were looking at some of the local crafts from the market that Maggie had purchased. Phone numbers for everyone were exchanged and the guys told Vernon when they would be back with some muscle. Everyone seemed happy.

Tank pulled me aside before they left. "Little sis, we are going to be calling every day. We're going to make plans with the folks here for when you go into labor. Hopefully, it will all go smoothly and we'll all have plenty of time. Just want to be prepared for any scenario. We would like to have you with us, but if you're happy and it helps you being here; then we're on board with it."

"I know Tank. I think I'm here for a reason. I think they know too. They lost their only boy in Iraq. Maggie was so excited about you guys coming today." He nodded understanding and kissed my forehead. Everyone said goodbye and Maggie actually hugged all the guys."

I took a nap after lunch and that night at dinner Maggie was just clucking away about how nice those boys were and how they reminded her of her Rich. Vernon gave me a look a couple of times and smiled.

The next morning I was filling my bucket with chicken feed when I was goosed from behind. I jumped and turned. I dropped my bucket and squealed. "V..Vernon...Vernon! N..nice..doggie." There was a dog the size of a small pony looking up at me and he had a massive size bone in his mouth. Oh shih tzu..that could be a merry man bone?

I stood still frozen in place trying to think like a dog. If I ran, would he chose me or his monster sized bone. "Good..b..boy. The only skinny parts on me are my bones. You don't want mine when you've got that baby, there." I heard a chuckle behind me and then Vernon walked around me and patted the dog on his head. "Don't worry, he's harmless despite his size. This is Digger and it's looks like he's had another successful expedition."

"What kind of bone does he have? Holy moly, it's huge."

He just said, "Follow us." He walked through a door in the barn and Digger followed him in. There was a really big chest or locker on the far wall and Vernon opened it and Digger walked up and dropped his bone in. I looked in the locker and it was full of bones. Really big bones. I was speechless. I just looked at both of them. "He's diggin' up a dinosaur. He stays gone a couple days and then comes back with a big bone. Won't be long till we have another whole one."

Of course that's what he's doing. Logical explanation. "What do you mean another one?"

"This will be the third one in about four years. The old boy's gettin' older and slower at diggin' I guess. We donate em' to the university. Digger's been thwarting their efforts to find his hot spot. He always ditches the camera." He chuckled. I scratched my head. "Well, I got nothing to say to this one Vernon." I just went and refilled my bucket and left the barn.

The next morning at the barn Vernon was asking me questions about the guys. "Maggie told me about your husband and the mission. Did those boys serve with him?"

"Yes. They were all Rangers. They're close like brothers and still wanted to be together after the military and came with my husband when he started his company. They all had service contracts for a while after retiring. They get called for really hazardous missions. One of the guys said that the missions pay really good if you make it back alive to collect. They refer to their secret operations as 'going in the wind'. Ranger would just disappear off and on for periods of time after I met him. Later he talked a little more. No details, just general stuff. I always got the feeling that he had to do things that haunt him."

"Like black ops or mercenary stuff?"

"Yeah, I guess. I hate the name mercenary because it sounds like a class of cold-blooded killers. That's not what they do. If they have to kill, it's to save lives like for the greater good. Ranger says that they clean up a lot of military clusterf...uh..screws ups too. He didn't want to get close to me at one time because of his missions. He didn't think we would have a future." I had tears in my eyes.

"I understand. He must be a very brave man and I can see you're proud. If only someone like your husband had found that al-Qaeda bastard and gutted him before he hurt so many lives." He looked sad for a minute and I knew he was thinking about his son.

Then Vernon looked up and said, "You see that crop duster behind the barn? I learned to fly that baby in the Air force. I was a Captain too before I retired and came back to the farm right before my Dad passed. He wanted me to go and learn some skills like I wanted my son to. I was just lucky enough to serve in between war times. For your husband, I guess the war never ends. Don't give up hope little darlin'." He hugged me to him and warned me that Randy was in a particularly pissy mood today because some of his girls were missing.

I giggled, "Jeez, he's hornier than Lester. How many doggone hens does it take to make that cock-a-doddle-do happy?" Vernon was chuckling and shaking his head as he walked away.

For the next couple weeks, Mama and Ella and even my grandma Mazur with Abuela Rosa made an appearance at the farm. We went to the market, they canned, traded more recipes. We picked, harvested and baked, fed and bloomed all kinds of stuff. The guys came with Rangeman reinforcements and harvested, picked, shucked and baled and later loaded livestock up for market.

Lester had acquired a new girlfriend while working on the farm. The guys came in for lunch about the second day and they were all cracking up. One of the female goats started head-butting him in the butt. He ignored her the first day, so on the second day she charged him as he was turning and head-butted him in the groin and knocked him on his ass and then went over and rubbed his head with her nose. Vernon had leaned over him while he was still holding his tender package and told him that she liked him and was just trying to get his attention. He said, "Sorry boy. Now she's done marked you and she considers you hers."

Cal was chuckling and asked, "What's her name?"

Vernon said, "Jezebel." Well that sent the guys into fits of laughter. Ram said, "And look, she's the one with the biggest tits too. She's perfect for you Santos!" Jezebel was now chewing on his hair. Well, that was the last straw. The guys were falling like timber laughing so hard and Vernon along with them. Lester had glared and scowled at them and got up and dusted himself off and stomped away with Jezebel hot on his heels.

Wherever Lester is, Jezebel is there too. He pets her and talks to her and feeds her treats. He wouldn't admit it, but me and Maggie know that he loves that goat.

All of the Rangemen loved the farm and they all bid for farm duty over other jobs. Tank just put farm duty right into the rotations like other work. I think they all felt a little of the peace that I felt here.

Tank was sending me a laptop via Hector and some wiring work needed to be done in the barn and house. The guys had gotten a kick out of Digger's bone locker. They told Hector about it and he had put together some hi-tech gadgets and a GPS tracking collar to fit Digger with. They were starting a project to find his dino digging grounds. I was going to do some Rangeman duties on the computer to help the guys while we were all here. Hector was fascinated with the farm and wanted to tour the whole thing. When we got to the cow pasture, his eyebrows narrowed and he growled, "El Toro!" Then he reached back and ripped his shirt off and shook it.

Awww...shit! That shirt was red and he had just challenged the family bull.

I was pleading, "Please Hector don't do this. You could get hurt." He growled again and shook his shirt out to the side and waved it at the bull. I moved my butt then and waddle-ran to the big barn frantic. "Vernon! Vernon!" He came running out. "What's wrong? You okay?"

"Hurry! It's Hector. We have to hurry to the cow pasture." We were in a full-out run, well he was anyway and I was holding my belly. When we got to the fence, we saw Hector still waving his red shirt saying, "Ole!" Vernon started snickering. "Why are you laughing? Hector could get seriously injured! He's not a bullfighter from Mexico, he's an ex-gang member from... Ooh...Come to think of it, your bull might be in danger."

He chuckled and said, "That damn bull is so lazy. I'd be tickled to death if he'd fight for somethin' besides his supper. My heifers are startin' to get fed up with him." Then Hector said, "Atacarte toro perezoso (attack you lazy bull)! No hay bolas (don't you still have balls)?" I looked at Vernon, "Hector just called him lazy too and asked him if he still had balls." He looked at me and we both started laughing so hard we were holding our bellies.

TBC-


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

It was almost September and the guys had helped Vernon to get the rest of his summer crops in and stack the baled hay for the winter. They would bale and stack just one more time. For their efforts, Maggie had sent fresh and canned vegetables to Ella and fruit pies to freeze for later and fruit jams and Vernon had even shared fresh meat for the winter.

The guys had taken Vernon some wood for the winter that came from a customer that was having trees cleared off of a property. Vernon had so much that he was able to take some to the market to sell. Maggie and Vernon had grown to love the guys over the summer and treated them like family and like sons. Maggie's hugs and kisses should be packaged and sold, but I doubt anyone could put a figure on their true value.

Some of the guys had begun to call her 'Mama Mags' and she loved that nickname. Then, one day she referred to them as her boys and they were. No matter if and when I left they would always be Maggie's boys and the guys would never stop being a part of their lives. Maggie and Vernon were officially part of the Rangeman family now and Doctor Sinclair's retainer was cancelled.

* * *

Two weeks before Stephanie's nine months mark and over four months after Ranger's mission began, two Rangers in full dress came to the Rangeman lobby with a letter asking for Mrs. Manoso.

Tank, Lester and myself met them and explained that we were expecting the letter and that his wife was ready to have a baby and was away from home. We told them that we were Manoso's partners and would take the letter. Both men shook our hands and relayed how sorry they were. One of the men said, "Captain Manoso is a legend in the Ranger's. We would like to pay respects at the funeral. Here is the information on the local unit." He handed us a card and saluted and they turned and walked out the door.

Tank opened the letter:

_Dear Mrs. Manoso,_

_We regret to inform you that Captain Ricardo Manoso was killed in action while participating in a special mission._

_The mission was classified and we further regret that we are unable to give you specific details._

_Sincerely,_

_General Hugh Fitzpatrick_

"Let's go to my office", he said in a weary tone.

Tank shut the door and turned to us. "I can get the General or his aide to give me more information than this. It's not going to be much. More or less, if there's a body coming or not. They won't tell us where he was or if the mission was even successful. Knowing Ranger like I do, I still won't give up hope until some time goes by. We need to agree on when to share this information with Stephanie."

"Personally, I think that we should wait till after she has the baby. She's doing so well right now. It will benefit her to be in good spirits during the birth."

"Agreed. Lester, you're family. You make the decision regarding the rest of the family."

"I say we wait to tell the whole family. You know there won't be a body coming back. It doesn't matter when we have the memorial."

Tank said, "Are we all agreed on that?" Everyone nodded.

"Let's have a moment for our fallen comrade then." We put our hands on top of the other and our heads down for one minute and then Tank said, "Rangers lead the way." Then we gave him a united "Hooah!"

* * *

I had to go to my OBGYN and Maggie wanted to go to Macy's at the mall in Trenton and we decided to stop by Rangeman so she could see where most of the guys and Ella lived and worked. I parked in the garage and we took the elevator up to the control room. Hal and Zip were on the monitors and said hello, but didn't look me in the face. I ran into Ram in the hallway and he lowered his head.

Zero turned the corner and stopped. "Oh man, Steph. I'm so sorry." Then he came up and hugged me. I said, "Zero, what happened?"

"What? You don't...Oh shit. I'm done."

"Zero, tell me what you know right now."

"The Rangers came yesterday. Oh man, I'm so sorry."

"They came with a letter for me?" He slowly nodded. His face was as white as a sheet. I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths.

"It's okay Zero. Maggie would you please excuse me." I needed to get out of this area for a few minutes. I could almost smell him. I could see him coming around the corner and down the hallway smiling at me. I took the elevator down to the garage and got off. I looked over at his cars, his Porsche turbo was his favorite. I walked over to it and touched it. Then the tears came and I sunk down to the ground and sobbed.

"I'm sorry Squirt. We didn't know this was going to happen when we made you. Your father was a hero. He was a great man and wanted you so much." He kicked and moved in my belly as I was talking to him.

Bobby appeared next to the car. "Please don't be angry with us, Steph. We were going to wait until the baby came to tell you. I thought you could handle the birth better without this bad news."

"Are you guys going to make decisions for me for the rest of my life? Ranger didn't have enough faith in me to let me make my own decisions for me and our baby? Is it in writing that the three of you will be dictating to me forever? If I don't agree with one of your decisions are you going to try to take my son away?"

"That's the grief talking, Stephanie. It's not the truth and you know it. You don't think that we're grieving too? He just asked us to look after you and his child because he knew we love you and even though we can't fill his shoes, we can still be family to his son and try to fill that void for him."

"I want to go back to the farm." He nodded and helped me up. Then he took out his phone and made a call. Bobby drove my car and Hal followed with Maggie.

* * *

I moved into a guest room in Vernon and Maggie's house. We all agreed that now it would be a good idea to have me close. Stephanie could deliver any day now. Mama and Abuela Rosa were staying at Rangeman and visiting several times a week. Some of the men had been chauffeuring Abuela Rosa and Grandma Mazur to Stiva's funeral home and the Clip and Curl salon and to senior events. They had become good friends. This duty however, for the Rangemen was meted out for punishment and just being the unfortunate schmuck at the bottom of the rotation roster. The men were terrified that Grandma Mazur's bad habits would rub off on Abuela Rosa. Her slapping hands were dangerous already.

Stephanie was back to the D word repertoire, beginning with despondent. Maggie and Vernon couldn't even pull her out. One day Vernon and I walked up behind Stephanie and she was sitting on a metal tub with a hatchet in her hand and staring through the fence at Randy the rooster. We both cocked an eyebrow at each other and waited to see what she was up to.

"You're a bad bird Randy. You are a glutton and you're greedy and mean and you're a hound dog. Not a hound dog, a cock dog..No that's not right, a horn cock. Damn, that's not right either. You're just a horny rooster, a real dick. You don't treat your girls right and you think you're all that. You're always chasing tail, even my tail. Well, I don't see what you're packin' dude. I think you're all doodle do and no cock. I got news for you too. My husband was a real bad ass. You know what he would do to a bad rooster like you? He would chop your head off and bury it in one place and your body in another and you would never be found. Nobody would know if you disappear." He crowed at her and she gave him the up yours sign.

We both looked at each other and cleared our throats. "Somebody will know, Bomber." Then we both started laughing and she dropped the hatchet and flipped us off and stomped away. I looked at Vernon, "Should we be disturbed by that display of aggression or not?"

"Naah! Gettin' that anger out will be healthy for her. I'll just tell her that pluckin' him and roastin' him would be better than buryin' him."

The next day she didn't come to the house for breakfast. I went to check on her mid morning. I knocked on the door and she didn't answer. I had a key and used it. I heard groaning coming from the bedroom. She was curled up on the bed in the fetal position and sweating. "Stephanie, how long have you been like this?"

"A while Bobby."

"Why didn't you call us at the house? I need to look at you to see how far along you are." She weakly nodded and I rolled her over and removed her pants and underwear. I washed my hands and checked her. "Stephanie, you're a few centimeters dilated and I'm surprised your water hasn't broke yet. It's time, sweetheart. Do you have your bag packed?" She shook her head no.

I called Maggie and told her we would be going to the hospital and to come help pack Steph a bag. "Come on. I'll help you shower and get the sweat off and cool you down and then put some clean clothes on you. Maggie will pack your bag and we'll head out. We got her ready as quickly as possible and headed out and I called her doctor on the way. Maggie was in the backseat brushing her hair dry and holding her hand through the contractions.

I called Rangeman to let them know we were on the way to the hospital. We got Steph checked in and in a room and then the wait began. Eight hours later she was still laboring and exhausted. They had finally given her an epideral for the pain and she was resting in between contractions. At the ten-hour mark, something changed and she was no longer even talking or making noises or participating. "Stephanie, what's happening? Where are you?"

"I'm tired Bob. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to have a baby alone without him."

"I know. You're almost at the end. Almost fully dilated and he's ready to be born. You won't be alone when he gets here."

"I can't Bobby." She closed her eyes and a nurse announced that her blood pressure was dropping dangerously low and put her on pure oxygen. They had leads attached to her belly and began checking the data on the baby. The nurse rushed out and got the doctor. He checked all the data and said, "We're going to push IV fluids. If she passes out and can't cooperate then we'll have to take him cesarean. It's time for her to push."

"Stephanie, it's time. You have to push now." She didn't open her eyes. "Steph, please. Take my hand. You have to push right now!" I saw a shadow and looked up and then backed away.

* * *

I'm so tired and I've been in so much pain that I don't care anymore. I just want to go to sleep and escape. I don't want to have a baby without Ranger. I'm scared and I don't know how to be a mother. I was willing to try if he was with me. But, now... I closed my eyes and began to drift off. Through the fog I heard Bobby pleading for me to push. Sorry, Bob. I just can't. Then I felt him remove his hand from mine.

"Babe, open your eyes and look at me. You have to push now. It's time for our baby to be born." Ranger was here in this quiet place. I must be dying and he's waiting for me or I'm hallucinating now from fatigue. Either way, I like it here. "I miss you. I can't have a baby without you."

"You don't have to. I'm here. Please open your eyes and look at me." I barely opened one eye and looked up into warm chocolate eyes, surrounded by a gorgeous chiseled face. I reached up to touch him. "You look and feel so real. You look tired and thin. Is this how you looked at the end of your mission? Did you suffer, Ranger? Please tell me that you didn't suffer."

"The suffering was from missing you and moving heaven and earth to get back to you."

"Can you visit me again?"

"I'm not leaving again. Ever. Now hold on to me and push for my child." I looked down at the hand that was holding mine and back up at him.

"Ranger? You're really here? You didn't die?"

"No. Trust me. I'm alive and I'm here. Now, please push hard with the next contraction." The contraction came and I nodded and he raised me and I pushed. The doctor said that we only needed a couple more good ones. Ranger kept talking to me and all I could do was gaze at him. I was afraid if I looked away that he would disappear. Another contraction hit me and he raised me and I pushed again. The doctor said the head was out.

"One more, Babe. That's all. Now push really hard." On the next contraction, I pushed hard and in about half a minute, we heard a cry. Ranger smiled at me and kissed me. "Proud of you, Babe. I know that was hard. I love you."

"I love you." The doctor finished up with me while the nurses worked on the baby and cleaned him up. They swaddled him and placed him on my chest. I looked at him and my heart just swelled. He was equal parts of myself and Ranger. He had curly brown hair and skin a couple shades lighter than his fathers and he had dark blue eyes. He was beautiful. Ranger touched him and took his little hand. "I missed this with Julie and I almost missed it with him. I made it just in time. Thank you for my son and this gift, Babe."

TBC-

So, Ranger is back. I know most of you are very happy about that.

FYI-Several of you were not happy with the ending of Twelve and a Half Weeks and honestly, neither was I. I rushed it and threw it out to you because of this story and my Dad. I gave the last chap a little bit more courtesy last night and smoothed the ending. Hope it sits better.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

A nurse had taken the baby to the nursery for the pediatrician to examine him and administer lab work to make sure he was a healthy boy.

"How in the world did you get here? Sorry, but you look so awful."

"How in the world, indeed. I have been all over it, trying to get home. I finally got to a point yesterday where I was able to contact Tank and he called the General. I was picked up almost immediately and the transfers began from there. I was on my way for debriefing when Tank called to say that you were on your way to deliver. The General made an allowance and postponed the debriefing so that I could be here. All I've had is one shower and a meal."

"You look like you need a lot of meals. You've lost some weight and you cut your hair and your face looks gaunt. I know just the lady and the rooster that can fatten you up though. Her name is Maggie and Randy is going to get permanently cock blocked. I'm going to wring his skinny neck and pluck that pecker and feed him to you."

"Babe, I don't have a clue what you're talking about and I'm not eating a skinny guy named Randy or Pecker. You must be really tired." He kissed me again and nuzzled me.

"Was your mission successful after everything you went through?"

"Yes. The brass is happy."

"I can't believe you're home. I love you."

"You too wife. Rest. I'm going to the nursery to check on our son and I'll meet you in your new room. You're being moved to a private suite as soon as the doctor is finished here." I touched his face and pulled him to me for a kiss. Warm flesh and blood and he's alive and home. A deep peace came over me and I closed my eyes.

I was dreaming that Ranger was alive and he was home and then I remembered that he had died and I was so sad. "Babe? Wake up. You're dreaming." I opened my eyes and Ranger wiped a tear from my face and smiled at me. I grabbed him to me and hugged him so tight. "I'm sorry for everything you've been through, Babe."

"Me? Ranger, you're the one that was left for dead. You look it too. I actually found some peace during the pregnancy and I didn't suffer like you must have. Not until we heard that you were lost." Just then the guys walked into the room followed by a nurse pushing a portable crib with the name Manoso on it.

Ranger reached in and picked him up and held him and sat back down in the chair next me. Tank said, "That's a fine lookin' boy you made there, Bomber."

"That's Squirt and his horny father gets most of the credit. I didn't do..nothin'..much."

"Babe...?" He leaned over and whispered a naughty memory into my ear and I blushed a rosy hue. Lester laughed and Bobby smirked and Tank cleared his throat.

* * *

Just then, there was a commotion in the hallway and I looked out the door and saw two armed soldiers walk up and take positions on each side of the door. In walked four star General Hugh Fitzpatrick and the man I reported directly to. I stood and saluted with my free hand and Lester, Bobby and Tank saluted him as well. I heard Stephanie mumble, "I've got an official salute for you too, called the Jersey bird." I was trying to keep my straight face firmly in place and I looked over at Lester who was close to Stephanie and the corners of his mouth were twitching.

"General Fitzpatrick. Would you like to have a seat?"

"No Captain. Thank you. This must be your lovely wife and new son."

"Yes sir. This is Stephanie Plum Manoso and we've not named our boy yet."

"Congratulations on the birth of your son, Mrs. Manoso. You should be very proud of your husband. We can't place a number on the souls your husband saved on his mission. It would be in the hundreds of thousands."

"Captain, I can't award you the medals that you so deserve because of the secrecy and nature of your mission. However, I came personally to present the papers that will void the rest of your contract. You're a free man now. The United Stated Army and the President would like to thank you for your service and sacrifice."

I took the papers from him. "Thank You General. This is enough."

Stephanie said, "So, you just more or less admitted that he completed his mission. What I assume is that you abandoned him in some shit hole on this planet to do the job and die and if not to crawl home alone and injured against all odds. Is that close to the way it went down, sir? Nice way to take care of one of your finest. So, I have three parting words for you; _Fuck you_, General."

I almost choked and even my blank face couldn't hide my grin. Tank and Bobby's eyes were huge and Lester choked and snickered.

The General snapped his head to me. "Well Damn, son! She's gonna' take the family pants from you. I knew you'd have to pick a woman with some fire, Manoso. Hope she makes you very happy. Good luck to ya'. Be in Washington on Monday at 0800 for debriefing. Goodbye, Mrs. Manoso and best wishes for your future." Then he saluted and turned and walked out of the room.

I laughed. "Proud of you, Babe."

Lester said, "Damn, beautiful! The last guy that told a General to get fucked is dead and that was probably a hundred years ago." Then he barked with laughter. "That was fuckin' awesome! Give me some skin." He slapped her five.

Bobby said, "I need my bag. I need a sedative. Stephanie...Shit...That was crazy...Flipping a General off can get a military man brig time. I have no more words."

Tank started chuckling and then laughed harder and finally bent over cracking up and holding his stomach. "Bomber, you just dropped a 'fuck bomb' on a four star General." He was laughing even harder and then I started laughing and finally Bobby couldn't hold back any longer.

Stephanie said, "Well, I don't know what's so funny. Must be Army humor. That guy is obviously a four star dick too."

We all stared at her with open mouths of surprise at first and then started laughing harder. Lester hit the floor kicking his feet and Tank was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe and I was bent over holding my sore stomach and Bobby was crying now.

The men left after passing Squirt around and handing him back to me. I unwrapped him so that I could look at him. I wanted to count his fingers and his toes and touch his soft skin. "He's perfect, Babe." She was smiling at me as I looked at him.

He opened his little mouth like he might make a fuss and I put my little finger to it and he took it in his tiny mouth. "Mama, I think this is where you might come in and this is the way you want him the first time. Skin to skin." I raised the head of her bed and reached for her gown and gently pulled it down to expose her beautiful breasts and placed him on his stomach and guided his little head to her. He moved and rooted for minute and then began to cry a little and Stephanie gave a start and I smiled and reached out and squeezed her nipple just a tiny bit and a small drop of milk appeared. It took him only a few seconds to find it and latch on to the breast. Stephanie jumped again and then relaxed.

"Are you alright with this, Babe? Are you uncomfortable?" She nodded her head.

"Just feels strange is all. How did you know to do that?"

"Lots of women talking in my family. They would talk about how hearing any baby crying while nursing made the milk come. It was coming and I just squeezed a little to help it along. You don't have to if you really don't want to. It's good for the health of the baby in the first few months."

"No, it's okay. It's..very intimate." She was rubbing his little back.

"Yes it is. Babe, I'm rock hard. I want to be there for every meal and I want to have the memories."

She whispered, "Ranger, his skin is so silky. It feels like your penis." I chuckled.

"Babe..."

"On that subject. You're not thinner there too are you?" I laughed and winked at her.

"I don't think so. It just needs a little exercise and will be as big and strong as before."

"Ranger, you look like you should still be in the hospital too. We're fine now. Please go home and let Bobby look at you and Ella feed you." I nodded.

I was bone tired, weak and malnourished. I had never come so close to death, never ran so far, never walked so far or swam so far. I completed the mission and made it home, but it had cost me dearly. I'm glad the baby was conceived before this mission took place. It would probably not be a good idea to have other children in the future and we would have to have a discussion and make a decision about that. I had been exposed to enough ionizing radiation to cause birth defects in a fetus and even cause cancer in my future. I have kept myself in top shape all these years and in just a few seconds of exposure...Well, guess the future will tell.

* * *

Ranger had placed the little swaddling blanket over the baby and leaned back in his chair while I was nursing. He looked both relieved and haunted at the same time. He was a shadow of himself. His former 5'11, 200 pound solid muscle frame looked to be down thirty pounds or more. He was gaunt and hollow and even his color had changed. I could tell that he had some healing sores all over him. Even though he was home, I was so worried about him still. No telling what he had been through and what it took to get home.

The TV was on low and the news came on. They showed photos of an area in North Korea and were talking about a nuclear explosion, and a power plant, yet there were no usual signs that a power plant had been there. None of those silo like funnels or bodies of water. They were saying that the North Koreans were still being closed mouthed about the incident and refusing to work with or accept help from the World Nuclear Association. Ranger was looking at the screen and lowered his head and then it hit me. "That your handiwork, husband?" He looked up startled for a couple of seconds and then nodded.

"Ranger, were they planning to shoot nukes at us?" He nodded.

"How close in days were they?" He held up two fingers. Oh dear lord.

"Did they have a lot ready to fire?" He nodded.

"They predicted you would die in the blast." He nodded.

"Were you exposed?" He nodded again.

"How bad? Please tell me."

"Not enough to put me in mortal danger, but enough to affect our future. I'm sorry, Babe. It won't be a good idea to have another child and I could get cancer in the future. I'm going to have some tests done in Washington and talk to the experts. If they advise it, I should have a vasectomy."

"You have two children. I'm okay with that as long as the three of us have some good years together. Are you?"

"Yes."

"Hit the button and call the nurse to come for Squirt and then you crawl in with me for tonight and one of the guys can come for you in the morning."

"Babe, that boy needs a name besides Squirt."

"Squirt Manoso is good enough till the morning." Ranger grimaced and I chuckled.

The nurse came and burped and swaddled the baby again and took him to the nursery and I raised the blanket and my husband crawled in with me and I pulled him close. No one would ever know what a super hero my husband really was. The only thing that mattered was that I knew and one day his son would know. I would make sure of that. Fuck the General and his secrets.

TBC-


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Lester and Bobby came in the next morning to see us and retrieve Ranger. We were discussing baby names and finally, we decided to name him Lucero Ricardo Plum Manoso. Lucero means light and we would call him Luc for short after my Grandpa Mazur whose middle name had been Luke. The name had meaning for a lot of people, yet I did make one point. I told Ranger, "Lucero is still not a really tough name like Buck or Brad or Brock, but at least Luc for short won't get him beat up at school."

He snorted, "Babe? Kids don't beat up other kids because of a their names."

"Tell that to these twin kids in my class named Huey and Duey Dick. Used to get their butts whipped every day on the playground." Lester barked with laughter.

Bobby said, "Are you serious? That was the kids' names?"

"Yeah. There was a huge family of them and the parents were evidently just plain mean. The family must have all gotten together for 'shits and giggles' to pick the cruelest names for the poor kids. There was Peter and Dexter Dick and then Horatio and Ralph Dick." Lester was cracking up.

"Unbelievable", Bobby said.

"Believe it. I didn't even tell you the girls' names. There was a Phyllis Dick and a Heidi Dick, a Norma and a Eunice Dick."

Lester said, "Jesus! All those kids in one family?"

"No. They were from twin brothers, Scooter and Chip Dick." This time, even Ranger was cracking up laughing.

Lester said, "That's as bad as these Asian names I heard, Long Duk Dong and Chew Kok." I giggled.

Bobby said, "I came across these on a funny web site one time, Rusty Kuntz, Jack Goff and Willie Stroker."

Lester hooted, "Add Harry Baals to that list." The guys were all laughing and I was giggling.

Ranger said, "Children...! Why am I not surprised there are so many dicks in the 'Burg'? Back to your first macho list, I've never heard of Brock. What's so tough about that name?"

I grimaced at his remark and had a hazy millisecond flash of my first marriage. "It's popular in a lot of those smutty romance novels. You know with the Fabio look-a-likes with large throbbing manhood's containing love nectar named Brock." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Throbbing manhood? No, I don't know and is the throbbing thing called Brock or the guy?"

"No dumdum,_ it's_ not called Brock. _It_ sometimes has other names like lengthy staffs, engorged manroots or a spear looking for a sheath. All of them are looking for virgins with downy vulvas and honeypots and silky folds."

"Naturally. I'm on board with that, just not the name_ Brock_. Stop talking about sex parts. Neither one of us gets to use them for six weeks." He was sitting on the bed next to me and kissed my neck.

Lester and Bobby grinned and took the cue and waited outside for Ranger. I sighed. "Give me some kisses hubby and go with the guys. I want Bobby to take you to your doctor to be checked out before you go to Washington. I don't trust those bastards. I know that they had to send you to do that job, but after it was done they should have retrieved you and kicked the shit out of the sons of bitches instead of almost sacrificing an American and acting like nothing ever happened. I'm pretty sure that I don't want to know anything about your other missions either."

"No you don't. I can't have my wife going to Washington and starting a civilian coup d'état. I'll be back later." He gave me a long, slow kiss and left.

I told Ranger that I wanted to take Luc and him to the farm for us all to recuperate. I told him that after a few days, he would know why I wanted to take him there. I stayed at the Rangeman apartment until he got back from Washington and he came back sore and limping. "You got it done, didn't you?" He gave me a grim nod. "Well, let Mama put some ice on it and give it some TLC. We'll be healing at the same time. That's good. You'll be feeling like Randy in no time."

"Who?"

"Randy the rooster. I mentioned him. He's the barnyard equivalent of Lester Santos, except with a bad attitude." He grinned and shook his head and put his arm around my neck.

We just brought a few things and then bought a little changing table with dresser and a bassinet for Luc and that's all we needed. Ranger wanted a rocking chair and we got one and were cozy in the little apartment. We had meals with Maggie and Vernon. Ranger walked the farm with Vernon and helped him feed the animals and asked him tons of questions about farm life.

He began putting on weight eating Maggie's good food and began running in the mornings. It was getting cold, but he loved running around the farm. He said it felt good and the air was fresh. We walked the farm holding hands and woke up to Randy crowing. After about a month, we were watching TV and I was feeding Luc, he looked at me and said, "I think I'd like to buy a farm."

"Really?"

"Yeah. One here close to this one. Tank said that all the men liked working the farm. We could give them rotations on both farms for a couple days at a time and have a couple bunk rooms built so they could stay overnight. Ella and Luis could move here and we could get another couple to take care of Rangeman. I could work from home. I want to be less involved with the daily running of the business anyway. I was going to take us to Miami, I'm thinking we might be happier here. We could just use the Miami home for vacations. What do you think?"

"I think my evil plan to bring you here worked." He gave me a wolf grin and quirked an eyebrow. "Then you're saying that you've been bad?"

I did my imitation of a sexy growl, "Very..."

"Burp my boy wife and follow me. I'm going to have to punish you good."

"You can't punish me too good. It's not time just yet." He stood and pulled his shirt over his head and unzipped his pants.

"I can punish you enough." Great balls of fire! Don't those just look good enough to eat.

Ranger said that funds had appeared in one of his offshore bank accounts and we had enough money to open Rangeman offices all over the world now and do whatever we wanted to do. I told him that I wanted him to think carefully about the things that were important to him now and make his future decisions based on that. I reminded him that he had plenty of money and help and he didn't need a lot of stress anymore and he should have some hobbies and fun things to do and spend time with us.

He met with the guys and decided to open just a few more Rangeman offices, a couple in the midwest and west coast. Two were going up in California right away. Silicon Valley wanted Rangeman security and so did Hollywood via word of mouth for personal security. After they got those staffed and up and running then he was going to relinquish some of his duties.

Ranger looked at the three closest farms to Vernon and Maggie and stated that he wanted to buy the one on the other side of Vernon's corn field. It was a beautiful farm with a large old Dutch style home and large barn and a fishing pond. It had a lot of acreage and a large part wasn't being used anymore.

"Ranger, that farm is not for sale."

"Doesn't matter. I want it. It's big enough for my plans. They'll sell." I didn't question further. He always gets what he wants. The next day, we walked over and introduced ourselves and Ranger handed the couple a piece of paper with a figure on it and told them that he wanted to buy the farm. They were elderly and the man first looked shocked at the figure and then narrowed his eyes at Ranger. He said, "I'm not selling my good farm land to no developer. You can take your money somewhere else!"

Ranger said, "Sir, I want to live here with my family and build this farm back up. We're friends with your neighbors Vernon and Maggie. I have plenty of funds to keep it running and I'll never sell it to land developers and I'll even put that in the sale contract. You and your wife would have enough money to retire to wherever you want and there is plenty for inheritance for your family." He still eyeballed us suspiciously.

"Sir, I swear your farm will be used in a way that will make you proud. Like a training farm for people to learn to support a way of life again. An independent way of life. I'm going to use all the land and the whole farm again."

"You sure about this son? This is almost double what this farm is worth."

"This farm is worth every penny to _us._ How long do you need to think about it?"

He said, "Give us a few minutes alone please."

After they left the room, I rolled my eyes at Ranger, "I figured it out. It's one part Ranger karma, one part Ranger charm and eight parts Ranger money." He nodded and gave me a sloppy kiss. "Actually, you left out one. It's a couple of parts sexual magnetism."

I snorted, "You think old Bernard was swayed by your man bits?"

"Man bulk. And, no he wasn't, but Hazel was."

"Oh, good gravy! Well, at least the bulk is back and the bits have healed."

Bernard and Hazel came into the room with smiles on their faces. Bernard said, "If you'll put it in the contract that you'll always keep the farm in your family, we have a deal. The kids have careers and are not interested in the farm and Uncle Sam buys his food abroad. We have supported the local people and hope that you'll do the same. Yet, it's not a living like it was in the past."

"The farm will have new purpose, sir. I promise." They shook hands and grinned and his wife Hazel grinned at me.

Ranger woke up one morning and said that he had been working on an idea in his head and needed to call the General. He spoke with him for over an hour and when he came out, he told me that he was going to Washington, D.C. at the end of the week.

When he came back, he was a different man. Gone was the fatigue and weariness, shadows on his face and haunted look in his eyes. I hugged him to me. "What happened?"

"I told them that America wouldn't survive after a nuclear disaster or any major catastrophe. We don't know how to take care of ourselves anymore and we don't realize that our past is the key and to a healthy mind and body too. Instead, we pay under qualified shrinks and take drugs that just make us lazier, more insecure and more hopeless. I offered to start a fund with part of what I earned to support farms all over the country. Not just for food, but for training and therapy from just day-to-day hardships and addictions and trauma.

Regular people and veterans can go to the farms instead of the mental institutions to work and recover. They can learn skills they can pass on. A whole new back to the basics way of life can be supported. The money will provide for housing and food and healthcare for patients and help the farmers to keep and sustain their livelihoods. They think schools could even benefit from farm education. If regular people learn how to grow their own food again, they'll eat healthier which is another top issue in the country. The top financial brass thinks that they can hammer out a plan to make it government subsidized soon. We just need a trial and some statistics to support the idea."

"Ranger, this is why I love you so much." I climbed him like a tree and he growled and walked me to the bedroom. "You're learning some good farm skills yourself, Babe."

Ranger had a couple of crews working full-time to renovate and update the house, build a cabin by the fishing pond, a barn and apartments over the second barn, garage and swimming pool and gazebos behind the house and fenced areas and shelters for animals. He and Vernon had approved plans to upgrade Vernon's farm as well. It was gift from Ranger for all they had done for the entire Rangeman family. Last, Ranger had gotten approval for a small aircraft runway and they were building that and a hangar and he and Vernon were looking for a small plane and a helicopter.

He told me that he had put the property in Luc's name and walked me to the road one afternoon. There was a brand new sign that said "Plum Farm". He gave me a loving smile. "This is perfect. My enemies would never think to look for me on a farm. They'll all continue to think I'm gone and we can live in peace."

TBC-

The name Long Duc Dong was from a 1980's movie. Any one remember it? Back in the chap where Lester got his head slapped at dinner and said the line, "I work hard on my hair and you hit it!" That was Tony Manero in Saturday Night Fever at the dinner table when his Dad slapped the back of his head. In the late 70's and 80's, you blow dried for an hour and then you used so much hair spray that when the wind blew, it moved your whole head and sometimes your body. I used to use this stuff called 'freeze and shine' on my big permed hair.

Ranger's idea was a good one, but the government would never do anything that makes any sense. Sadly, the truth is that we would not be able to sustain ourselves in the event of a catastrophe right now.

Last, I have a real live Randy rooster that I really want to eat. People rented the house behind us a few months ago and brought their chickens and an annoying rooster. They don't crow in the morning, they crow day and night! I live in the city, but there is about a 100 year old ordinance that allows one rooster and two chickens per house. I have very fond memories and some not so fond memories of farm life as a kid. Now, I live in the city for a reason, no farm animals! Grrrrrr!


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21/Epilogue**

Leave it to the guys to never forget about entertainment. Ranger bought a meaner bull for Hector and some bleachers and put in a big street lamp in one field. When I saw it I knew what they were planning and I was shocked. "Mr. Manoso! We will not be killing any bulls _or_ Hector's for entertainment purposes."

He laughed. "We have some safety features built-in, Babe."

"What? You guys are crazy!"

The guys dubbed them Friday night fights and on the first one, Maggie and I sat next to each other nervous and with first aid kits in hand and Bobby had his medical bag. Luc was in my cozy harness and zipped into my jacket asleep. The bull was released into the pasture. They had decorations around his neck and tail. He walked slowly in circles a couple of times. "Ranger, what the hell is that bull wearing?"

"Kevlar." Okay so that sounded normal. Kind of.

"What is that thing hanging down under him?"

"Bull cup. He's a top breeder. Can't afford an injury there."

"How did you even find bull Kevlar and a bull cup, Ebay? He chuckled and rolled his eyes at me like I was crazy.

"No. Custom made."

"Oh right. So, let me picture this. A guy came to the farm to measure the bull's package and fit him with his own cup?"

"Yeah. I had to pay him a little extra. He only got kicked once though."

"How do you find bull Kevlar makers and custom bull cup makers? Do they have an ad in the yellow pages?"

"Babe..."

"Hmm...I know. I'm the nutty one." I looked over at Maggie and she had her hand over her mouth and turned away from me. No help here I see.

Next, Hector walked out into the pasture with a fancy red cape and a hat to match with gold trim and he was growling and yelling at the bull. I cocked my head and craned my neck and looked closer.

"What the hell is that Hector is wearing?"

"Cup and Kevlar."

"That's not a cup that's a dome...Oh shit...Right. It's Hector. Maybe one of those fireman hose windy things could have worked too. Looks like this one covers it. He's walking funny though."

"Babe, the bull is walking funny too. He's not just pissed off because Hector is waving a red cape at him." He was taking about two steps at a time and swatting at his nuts with his hoof and it looked like he was dancing. He went to run at Hector a few times and then stopped and ended up doing bull pirouettes with nut swats in between. Half the Rangeman guys were on the bleachers laying over each other in hysterics. I Looked over at Vernon and Maggie and they were laughing so hard they were gasping for breath. I guess as far as entertainment goes, we were comedy central on the farm.

Finally, the bull fighter got pissed. He waved his spear at the bull. "Toros Americanas es perezoso y tiene ningunas bolas (you American bulls are lazy and have not balls)!" He was circling the dancing bull with his hands on his hips and a limp in his step. "Quiero pelear te y bailas (I want to fight you and you dance)! Sissy toro (you sissy bull)!"

I translated to Vernon and Maggie. They said even without the translation it was hilarious. Dear lord. This was a perfect example of what happens when city meets country. We could be a reality TV show. This was a mess. Finally, I said, "Vernon, there is only one worthy opponent on both of these farms. You might as well go fetch him."

In about ten minutes everyone turned as Hector's new opponent strutted across the pasture toward him. Hector yelled, "Ole!" Randy circled Hector and then he crowed, "Er..er..errrrh!"

"El gallo, usted desafiarme (Rooster/cock, you challenge me)?" It all happened really fast. Hector flapped the cape out next to him and Randy flapped his feathers and went right for Hector's head. Randy went airborne and then attached himself and dug his claws in and now Hector was cursing in Spanish and run limping circles around the dancing bull. I heard Maggie crying against Vernon's shirt she was laughing so hard.

I looked at Ranger and he was wiping tears from his eyes and his chest was wheezing he was laughing so hard. "Seriously? This is the most pitiful example of bull fighting ever and forget about the cock-fighting. This was just..wrong. What's next? Randy with custom Kevlar and a cup. Sheesh." He put his arm around me and pulled me close to him and kissed me on top of the head.

"Ranger? Ranger!"

"Yeah, Babe? Just thinking about that Randy Kevlar."

"Oy. Someone needs to go remove El Gallo from Hector's head. It looks like he and the bull are doing the pasa doble now."

Hector rubbed his head and dubbed Randy a worthy opponent. Maggie cleaned and bandaged some scratches and declared this night the best farm entertainment and most fun she'd had in a long time. I guess it was after their time of heartbreak and loneliness. Just knowing that and nobody really got hurt made the night a great success.

A few days later, we heard a big racket on the road and a weird sounding horn blowing and blowing. Maggie was bouncing Luc on her knee and making silly faces at him. "What in tarnation is that racket out there?" We walked out to the front porch and Vernon was walking up the long driveway. We stood listening a minute and then we heard what sounded like a diesel engine and then the thing that was making all the noise came into view and sitting on top of it was a beaming Ranger with teeth.

"What the hell is that?" Vernon was grinning ear to ear.

"It's a tractor. One fine tractor too!"

"I know that. I meant what is my husband doing on it?" A black SUV was behind the tractor with Tank, Lester and Bobby and they got out as Ranger stopped in front of the house.

Then Vernon burst out laughing. "I'll be damned! That's a 1959 Porsche Diesel Super tractor!" He ran up to get a closer look at the tractor.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Maggie. "Well that explains it and it's even painted black. A Ranger toy." Maggie started laughing. It even had a black wagon attached to the back.

I walked up to the tractor shaking my head. "Crawl up and give me a kiss, wife." I did crawl up and gave him a long loving kiss. He said grinning, "You like?"

"The kiss or the new toy?"

"My new Porsche and wagon."

"It's very cute."

"This is not a _cute_ tractor. This tractor is manly and very cool, Babe." Vernon hopped on the other side of him. "I agree with that. Let's go for a ride."

Lester grabbed Luc from Maggie and he blew a raspberry and grunted. His eyes crossed a little and then he smiled at Lester. Lester wrinkled his nose. "Little dude, you can't do that and be a chick magnet too." He went to hand him back to Maggie. I said, "Nuh, uh, uh, Nuts. Whoever is holding the hot potato when he blows, does the diaper 'doody'. Get it?"

"Very funny. I need a gas mask, rubber gloves, tongs..."

"Stop being such a yellow-bellied chicken. You need wipes, a little powder and a new diaper. Now go in and go to it." He groaned, holding Luc out as far as his long arms would extend and went in the house grumbling.

He came out in about ten minutes still grimacing and I zipped Luc's little coat and handed Les a blanket and kissed them both. "That wasn't so bad was it?"

"He smells just like his mother and I didn't need a reminder. I was just beginning to do doggie again without fear." I laughed at him.

He carried Luc to the wagon and hopped in with Tank and Bobby. Then Jezebel came running and jumped in. Ranger and Vernon were on the front end and he put the tractor in gear and beamed at me and off they went with Digger galloping behind.

"This is not a Norman Rockwell picture that would have made it to the front page of 'The Saturday Evening Post Magazine'. A Cuban Mercenary driving a Porsche tractor while pulling a wagon load of multi-colored brawny Army men, a baby and a goat and a giant dog. Just doesn't look quite right." Maggie chuckled and put her arm around me.

"Life is crazy sometimes. Honey, whatever makes that big boy happy is what's right. That good man has found his peace. Lord knows you both deserve some. Let's go in and have some cake."

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Hope you liked this one. It grew and became more than just the silly ditty I first intended. I think I'm proud. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm working on a sexy Hector tale, a sad ditty I'm trying to make palatable that I wrote while dealing with the Dad stuff, a Ranger vamp tale I got the idea from a book and Zetharin and a story where Steph meets Ranger in a bar right after she's let go from EE Martin and takes an instant dislike to him. What I need to do is take a break and then focus and finish some stories.


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